Polyrhythm

40 hour famine

2011-08-17T06:13:00.001-07:00

I am undertaking the 40 hour famine this year. Instead of giving up food, I will give up using the computer for 40 hours. This means no google, no hourly Bureau of Meteorology checks, no twitter, no email, no youtube, no blogspot, no NationStates, no Facebook and most importantly NO TUMBLR.

Considering I use the computer to study, play, relax and in general entertain myself this is going to be a very different weekend (starting friday 8pm, finishing 12pm Sunday). I’ll have to actually call the transport info line to figure out where and when I’m going somewhere. I’ll have to read the newspaper to figure out what the weather’s like the next day. I’ll actually have to talk to people for a change!

What I am asking for is a small donation. Any amount will help. $40 Australian dollars can feed a family of five for a month!

Bonus pledges:

If $125 has been raised by the 23rd of September I will give up listening to music from Glee for a month.

If $250 has been raised by the 23rd of September I will give up drinking alcohol for a year.

Please donate at http://40hf.com/VSeatang. The money is going to World Vision, who help to provide aid to some of the poorest countries in the world. Even the smallest amount will add up.

~ Ness

Personal thoughts on the label "slut"

2011-05-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

If someone is between the ages of 15-17 and is having unprotected sex with a lot of people and giving blow jobs for “popularity and social benefits” it’s not your job to label them a slut. In fact, you don’t have to label anyone anything.

To put it crudely, even if someone is sucking off your boyfriend or your brother, it is not your business. Ain’t your dick she’s sucking on. Literally. Your boyfriend’s genitals do not belong to you.

Having sex for reasons other than pleasure, such as to gain popularity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I would personally prefer to see a world where how much you are liked depends on how good you make people feel (either by being nice or by being physically pleasurable) rather than how violent or cruel you are.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong about being proud over how many sexual partners you have. In my opinion, such a person doesn’t necessarily lack morals or self respect. Morality is not just about sexual purity, it also (shock horror surprise) depends on how well you treat other humans. There’s nothing wrong with letting people know how many people you’ve slept with, if you’re comfortable sharing that information it’s up to the people around you to cope with their own reactions to that news. This paragraph is true for people of any gender or sexuality.

If you’re working in the legal field as a criminal prosecutor, and a so called “slut” has pressed charges against someone for sexual assault and you personally believe that women who have had many sexual partners deserve to be labelled as sluts, then that is going to impact on how hard you fight for that case. You are going to think things like “Oh, she’s a slut she probably said yes anyway but regretted it and is wasting my time with this case.” Your personal bias shouldn’t impinge on the fact that 1) There has been a lack of consent 2) There has been unconsented to penetration 3) That is a punishable crime.

Caling someone a slut is most certainly in this day and age castigating someone for the number of sexual partners they may have, but it is also now a criticism of any behaviour (dress, manner etc) that the person doing the name calling disapproves of. What this label does is creates an environment where it is not okay for women to have sex, where it is not okay for women to be anything other than sexually demure. If the response to this is that “men shouldn’t have a lot of sexual partners either” then you are also seeking to impact upon the sexual freedom of all people, which is just as uncalled for.

Labelling anyone with “slut” and “manwhore” not only add to the overall hate in our society but exhibits a sense of laughable childishness in your evaluation of individuals.

People have different thresholds for sexual satisfaction. We all have drives, hunger and thirst are commonly known ones, and I would say that there is a sexual drive as well. Some people need to eat more than others, some people eat less. Similarly, some people need to have sex more, some people don’t feel that urge as much. Either way, people from across this spectrum deserve respect and none are better than the other.

Let me reiterate. Who someone sleeps with is none of your business. If someone if sleeping with your brother or friend, in my (very unpopular) opinion that is none of your business. Depending on what kind of relationship I would argue that if someone sleeps with your boyfriend, that is also none of your business (but that ties into the assumption of monogamy in a relationship, and is a slightly different issue).

If it’s none of your business, but you choose to make it your business and get upset, then that is your fault. For example, you might not like black people. Upon seeing a black person you have two choices: 1) get upset 2) Be calm. In fact in any situation, you have a choice on how you react to stimuli. If you choose to get upset, then that was your responsibility, thus your fault.

No one deserves to be castigated for the number of sexual partners they have, regardless of gender.

You gotta run as fast as you can to stay in the same place.

2011-04-26T02:29:00.000-07:00

I feel like once you start school you can't stop. I keep wanting to learn things, and even at the point where I stop wanting to learn things I can't stop anyway. I want to be better and to grow, and they only way I can think of to do that is to keep learning.

I possibly could have stopped school in Year 10 and joined the workforce then. But I feel that I would have stagnated there, thus gained no improvement. Same goes for Year 12, and for the possibility of dropping out now, and for the possibility of not going on to do Honours or the College of Law =/

I sort of feel trapped, but at the same time I know that I have to keep going. I have to work hard, in order to keep learning. The only point I can see where I'll be able to stop is when I drop dead.

So I over-reacted

2011-03-23T04:05:00.000-07:00

1) I was tired and couldn't sleep
2) That girl is still annoying
3) I'm angry because I feel obliged to react somehow, despite not having any reaction.

I guess I can't listen to people all the time, it does get irritating eventually especially late at night when I just want to sleep.

I'll end up helping her because it's right, but I won't like it

2011-03-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

So there's this girl doing psychology with me. Let's call her W. Last year we did statistics and sat in the lecture together a few times. Everytime we sat next to each other I wanted to punch her, because she would not shut up and it took me every ounce of my brain to process what Eugene was saying. I eventually wised up and sat alone in the front of the class.

Today, she told me that one of her friends, N, had committed suicide.

I had interacted with N a total of 5 times.
1) She joined Rotaract and I said hi to her at the info night last year semester 2.
2) She helped out at the Biggest Morning Tea which I swung by to get some tea
3) She emailed me once to book a table for Trivia Night, and was probably there while I was there, though I didn't see her
4) She attended the Christmas picnic that I also attended. I said hi
5) We manned the stall for Rotaract one of the days for O-week

In all, I didn't know her that well. W brought it upon herself to tell me, thinking that I'd know N well. I asked her if she was okay, and told her that if she felt overwhelmed she should go talk to the counsellors at the Student Services building.

She wants to meet up sometime this week, and I do not. I feel as though I shouldn't be obliged to talk to you just because you're sad. W and I are not close friends and as far as I know she is bloody annoying. My current attitude is, W is not my problem and she has her own group of friends to talk to. I would like her to leave me alone.

That probably makes me sound like a horrible selfish person, but I guess that's what I am.

Well... shit

2011-02-22T04:35:00.000-08:00

No matter what happens in Libya, whether or not Quackdaffy is overthrown they’ll just end up with another dictator and go to shit for the next 30 years. Once he’s overthrown everyone will forget about what has happened and will not make any steps in making the quality of life in Libya any better.

It’s happened in Afghanistan and Somalia. The rest of the world tried to interfere and tried to “fix” what was wrong, and now these countries are still messed up… but no one cares.

Nothing is going to be solved until everyone on the entire planet protests, goes on strike from doing anything and shouts “Hey, this isn’t working for most people. We’re not going back to work until something better is available.”

But that’s not going to happen because not everyone is educated or aware.

Awareness can be raised via news, blogs and oddly petitions. But signing internet petitions is completely useless as it is a form of slacktivism.

Slacktivism is defined as “the search for the ultimate feel-good that derives from having come to society’s rescue without actually getting one’s hands dirty, volunteering any of one’s time, or opening one’s wallet. It’s slacktivism that prompts us to forward appeals for business cards on behalf of a dying child intent upon having his name recorded in the Guinness World Book of Records or exhortations to others to continue circulating a particular e-mail because some big company has supposedly promised that every forward will generate monies for the care of a languishing tot. Likewise, it’s slacktivism that prompts us to want to join a boycott of designated gas companies or eschew buying gasoline on a particular day rather than reduce our personal consumption of fossil fuels by driving less and taking the bus more often. Slacktivism comes in many forms, but its defining characteristic is its central theme of doing good with little or no effort on the part of the person inspired to participate, through the mechanisms of forwarding, exhorting, collecting, or e-signing.” (Detailed explaination here)

My head is hurting. Crap happens, nothing I can physically do about it to actually help. Thinking of joining the socialist alternative… except for the fact that I’m scared of them.

On a slightly less mopey note, this year I will donate blood.

Capstone Blog Post

2011-01-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Since my last post:

Exam results
I did fairly well last semester, three distintions and a credit. Had to wait a while for some of the results to come out because apparently university administrators are douches and don't pay teachers properly. Or so I heard.

Thailand
I went to Thailand for a few days. Most of the time was spent in high end hotels or resorts and shopping centers. On the actual days where my cousins actually decided to experience some culture we walked on the beach, ate from proper local restaurants (super super cheap food. Like $1.50 meals), walked the streets of chinatown, bought things from street vendors and caught tuk tuks (open air taxis, often dragged by motorbikes in Bangkok and cars in Koh Samui). Bought a lot of cheap clothes and shoes, but also a lot of bottled water (feel so guilty about that. didn't see any recycling bins but we weren't allowed to drink from the tap).

Meeting the parents
Bumblebee was asked (by mum) to come to dinner. We had steam boat/sukiyaki (whatever you want to call it). After dinner we played mahjong and card games. I RULE at Big 2.

Chinese New Year Twilight Parade
I am going to be performing in the parade (woo!). The first rehearsal I went to was okay, but the next day I sore like no one's business.

Enrolment
Managed to enrol in most of my classes but eStudent was being a lagtastic bitch which meant the prerequisites hadn't been processed so I had to get a waiver. I also have my class timetable prepared for registration in 6 days (because I'm crazy like that).

And that's life.

it's that time again

2010-11-21T19:15:00.000-08:00

exam time! I'm on my last exam, and while this should be a joyous occasion I am plagued with the red tide and cramps. Which means terrible crazy mood swings so sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I want to throw things against the wall. Yay for me.

new phone!

2010-11-15T22:04:00.001-08:00

so the birthday wasn't too bad. no one called me fat, probably because it was my birth day, but my brother was told he'd put on weight. got some cash and a new phone as presents. all is forgiven. gee i'm fickle.

birthday dinner

2010-11-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

my cousin's wife and her sister have invited me out to dinner. previously, my cousin's wife has called me fat so I'm wearing as much black as possible, two layers of stomach control wear and I'm not going to eat heaps and think thin thoughts. I'm already feeling nauseous and dizzy from how tight the clothes are. i'll probably mention that i'm not hungry if they ask, and if i do eat it will probably come back up again from all the stress and by reflex anyway.

but if she calls me fat again, i will thank her for taking me out and politely ask if i can go home and then i'm never going out with her again.

yeah my birthday is not going to be the funnest.

but you know, i'm not actually that fat. when i put my legs together, my knees don't touch, my butt is mostly muscle, and once exams are over i'll hit the gym, sleep normally, stop eating at random times and my stomach will flatten.

Ness' guide to team work with Ness.

2010-10-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

After the last group work thing we did for law, we were asked to do a bit of research about team work, then to reflect upon the processes our team went through and what we learned. Here is a summary of the things that I will strictly adhere to in the future.

1) Where possible, form groups with people you already know and have contact details of. That way, if you have to you can harass them via facebook, email, phone and in person.

2) Once the group is formed and no one else wants to step up, assert some leadership. Talk about what the task is, what needs to be done, when it needs to be done by and who needs to do which part. The reason for setting a schedule is so that we can review the work done together as a group so it'll be easier to pinpoint what works and what doesn't.

3) Make sure that everyone knows exactly what they're supposed to do. In order for this to work, all team members must be present at each meeting. If you can't make it to a meeting you need a reasonable and acceptable excuse like your grandma died and you're going to the funeral or you've contracted a debilitating illness.

If your excuse is, "oh, I'm so hung over" or "I can't bother to come into uni on days when it's convenient for everyone else" my standard response from now on will be FUCK OFF. If you can't be bothered to study hard and only just want to pass, I will kick you out of the group.

4) If you haven't done your allocated task by the set schedule, then my response will also be FUCK OFF.

5) If I've told you to send something before 2am I mean it motherfucker.

6) Although I've asserted leadership, I will not tolerate doing all the work. I've allocated tasks for a reason, and I expect you to comply.

7) Compliance with all my rules will lead to handing the assignment on time. Furthermore if everyone in the group is smart and has done their parts to a good standard then we will get a fantastic mark.

This is why lawyers can't have nice things.

2010-10-11T05:47:00.000-07:00

Sure lawyers might make a lot of money, but we all know money can't buy happiness. And while crying in a Ferrari might seem fun, it probably isn't.

Lawyers have the highest rates of depression amongst professionals, according to Beyond Blue survey.

Thinking about it now it does make sense. Mathmaticians have the best job satisfaction, outranking lawyers according to JobsRated.

Personally, I think it's because mathematicians can solve problems that have right and wrong answers. Lawyers don't. Maybe that's simplifying it, but I feel like I want to help people by fixing problems, but as a lawyer I'm not really fixing anything.

Oh well, back to more law readings.

tired mumblings

2010-10-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been struggling with balancing my work load at university with my personal life, work and everyday tasks. I've often bemoaned about how everthing is so much harder than in high school and I'm frequently worried about my role in the future as a functioning member of society.

It is hard. The work is hard. There is never a right or wrong answer in law, and there is only an occasional yes or no in psychology based on what we've proven or disproven. Statistics is a bunch of maybes and 95% sure's.

It's only going to get harder. A lawyer or a psychologist, someone who fixes other problems. There's no textbook with the answers in the back, and you have to use your own reasoning to help as best as you can. You have to force yourself to think.

It's so easy not to think. It's so easy to be pulled along by the next high or low that strikes you. Love, drugs, trying to earn money, having fun and vegging out are all really easy to do. And if the tasks are enjoyable you want to do them more. It's human nature.

But tertiary students who are challenged and required to think and process large amounts of information, try and fit it into how their own logic works, and try and apply that to the world around them have a responsibility to use their intelligence.

We're the next generation. We have almost everything at our fingertips: information, basic needs, luxuries and many things that money can't buy. But we can and we have to make things better, for not just ourselves, but for the people we care about, for the people they care about , for the people who need our help. Because we're all human and I believe that all humans have a chance to develop and become a much better, kinder species if only the people we're educating use their brains and decide that being open, tolerant, well informed, fair and balanced is what's right.

Basically, I'm so tired right now. I'm not trying my best to do my best and sometimes I fall back and do things that are really easy because I don't have to think. But I know that's wrong and something has to change. I don't want to be the person who half asses their way through their education and becomes the not fully competent professional because I won't be any good to anyone. I don't want any student to half ass it through their education either because that stunts human growth.

I understand that development doesn't hinge entirely on academic success, and that students should be actively involved in what they have a strong interest and passion for, whether that be the performing arts, the environment, history, recreational sports and the like. But there needs to be a balance. The more knowledge we have, the more empowered students are. I believe this. We might be idealistic youths but I really believe that our generation will be the generation that changes the world for the better.

The cove

2010-09-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

We love you, we love you, we love you
And when you play we follow, we follow, we follow
Coz we all follow Sydney, the Sydney, the Sydney,
And that's the way we like it, we like it, we like it.

That's the way
(You fucking cunts)
We like it
(You fucking cunts)

the last two months of stuff

2010-09-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

Diversity Week
Mostly helped out with the Rotaract stall (we were sharing with the Dance Academy) and sold gerberas to raise money for the Mexican orphanage La Casa... and to promote the Latin Festival we were going to host later. Hung out with the Singaporean Student Association a bit and the Brewster.

Inception
A pretty good film. Not as mind-blowing or hard to understand as everyone made it out to be. The action scenes didn't exactly require insane mental powers to understand. Clever beginning and ending. Newfound admiration for Joseph Gordon Levitt and Ellen Page :3

Australian Election
My first proper election I guess. Voted for the local Labor member, and in the Senate voted for the Greens, Sex Party, Independents etc etc. I am probably partially responsible for the 9 seats the Greens now hold in the Senate hehehe. The Labor candidate for my area lost, but the Liberal member has experience I guess.

We still have a female, ranga prime minister, who is probably hanging on precariously because the votes were so close.

Latin Fest
We'd been trying to organise this stupid thing for a year now, and it finally culminated in an explosion of fantastic musical and dance performances, made even better with some spicy choripan, filling empanadas and slighty-too-crunchy churros.

Damn it, I still promote it instinctively. But it really was fun. I even got to let loose and dance a couple of times. Watching the Brazilian dancers, Mel and Nestor perform was really exciting and mindblowing too.

Scott Pilgrim v The World
Very funny film. Lots of great lines and nerdy references. Knives was so cute, I wanted to adopt her haha. The final battle was pretty epic.

Law + Psych Assignments
Two assignments due the same time on Monday morning made for a hell of last minute assignment cramming.

The plus side is I've handed in everything this semester on time (unlike last semester). I plan to keep doing that.

Bumblebee's Birthday Week
Bought a bag, discovered our favourite section of the library, bought a box full of useless stuff, made an awesome birthday card made of cardboard. Didn't actuall see Bee on his actual birthday though =/

Science Revue
Went to see Sherlock Ohms and Dr. Wattson and the Light Brigade at Sydney Uni. Very clever at times, funny at times, and constantly entertaining.

Actually went to lunch with Pichu and a bunch of highschool friends before hand, then going to karaoke for a few hours (glorious, extra, free minutes at the end hahaha). Actually sang a few Korean songs... despite not speaking or understanding more than a handful of phrases ^^

The bus home at night was a nightmare though. V and grog cans strewn everywhere, the entire bus stinking of BO, chunder and cigarette smoke. Got home pretty late too xS

Relay for life
Hiked all the way to the sports field, set up a blanket and dozed in the sun for a bit. Set up Bee's tent and put up his awesome Samurai Blue flag on the side of the tent. Had some delicious, healthy lunch provided by Bee then went Cookies hunting. Found her malnutritioned and exhausted from long hours of working. Mooched around some more and got some snacks to eat.

Eventually the actual relay kicked off and we had some fun dancing around the field for the first lap. Left early to get home and took an awesome short cut which I am totally using next time.

Sydney FC
Today! Went to see the footbal, Sydney FC v Gold Coast United. Met up in the city with Bee and had some Hungry Jacks for lunch. Waited for Bee's friend to turn up so we could take the bus to the stadium. When we got there it seemed like there were heaps of people there. The stadium seemed so full, it was pretty amazing. Actual attendance was something short of 10 000 =O

The Cove (organised bunch of really vocal Sydney FC supporters) sat in a particular bay and led the chants and songs throughout the entire game. Sydney scored first, then the Gold Coast potted one just before hlaf time (GUUUUUH).

Then some juniors came on the field at half time to play mini soccer, which was really fun to watch and cheer for.

The game ended in a draw, which was pretty disappointing. But yeah, definitely something I'd go watch again.

the difference between

2010-08-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

I fucking love you

and

I love fucking you

is that if you love someone, you will eat ALL of their cooking and say that it tastes great.

i think too much

2010-06-22T01:59:00.001-07:00

On a scale of:

to:

I am probably a:

I'm not sure why it's such an imperative for me to be skinny, and why it's such an imperative that I have tiny thighs and a flat belly.

I've come to terms with not having tiny thighs. I've kind of decided that, as most women go, having thighs (in general) is a fact of life.

I've come to terms with the fact that at my height, I should only be a certain density.

But I just can't come to terms with the fact that I will probably never have a flat belly like this:

I mean I could... but when it comes down to it all I tend to choose to be lazy than to do something about it.

What I think I'm trying to express is that I think I'm normal. It's very hard to find pictures of normal people. It's very easy to find pictures of people belonging in the extremes. So much so that because I'm inundated with images of "skinny" women, I get the feeling I'm starting to think of them as normal. I mean they clearly aren't.

I think it's a very interesting task, trying to write yourself out of thinking something. It might not be so interesting to read sure... but that's kind of the reason I try not to advertise my blog.

I think the last thing I'm trying to nut out is the fact that I get the impression that talking about your insecurities, or the things that make you sad, seems to be avoided. I guess when people are together in a group they're trying to have a good time. I mean, I don't know about most people but when I'm with other people I tend to feel happier, and there's less time to think. I feel like if I talk about any worries or fears that it will ruin the mood. That's not to say it stops me from doing it, but I guess over time I've stopped talking about certain subjects.

And those subjects usually end up here.

I also get the impression that no one actually has insecurities, and that I'm the only one that does. I mean obviously that's not true, but it's very very easy to focus on my own thoughts, and it's very easy to look for "evidence" that supports my impression. From a psychological stand point I see why that happens, and that it happens to most people, so technically I should know better. And I'm trying. I'm slowly but surely collecting everyone else's insecurities and weaving them into a blanket that I can hide under and keep warm in. Or some other ridiculous metaphor representing warmth and comfort.

I think I'm feeling better about my thoughts now that I've written this out.

I am such a girl.

2010-06-14T02:06:00.000-07:00

Hell week is over.

2010-06-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Oh god, I didn't think I'd survive but I have. Ethics, Contracts and Cognition. I don't think I did really well, and I know I could have. I was pretty stressed, but now that everything is over I'm flooded with this huge sense of relief.

Just one more exam to go, then I'm free. Holidays, then another semester of this love-hate relationship with my education.

What inspires you creatively?

2010-06-09T04:09:00.001-07:00

Getting my heart stomped on. Beautiful weather. Terrible weather. Sickness. Beautiful boys. Annoying people. Malaise.

Lots of things.

Ask me anything

fuck this shit i'm going to hogwarts

2010-06-06T02:41:00.001-07:00

everytime i look at this exam i just want to cry. i feel so stupid. i'm not entirely sure what i'm talking about. there's no cohesive order to my paragraphs.

COME ON I USED TO GO TO A SELECTIVE SCHOOL. I BEAT THE ENGLISH. IT WAS A TOUGH BOSS. BUT LAW IS EVEN WORSE THAN ENGLISH. THERE IS NO END GUY.

i just have to edit it. come on. come on. baby if you and me ain't trying, i can't see the point. come on. come on.

Do we all see the same colours?

2010-06-03T17:10:00.001-07:00

Actually, I'd say we don't. Colour is actually just an experience in the mind. Let's say for example, you're looking at a "green" object. Light from some source shines onto the object, and it absorbs every other wavelength besides the greenish wavelengths and a couple of blueish and yellowish wave lengths. The waves that haven't been absorbed are reflected off the object and into our eyes.

Once the light hits our eyes, then the three different cones in our retina (focused on long, medium and short wavelengths) will differentiate the wavelengths that have hit them and changes light energy into electrical energy, which is then (to make a longer story short) transmitted to the brain as a particular colour.

Now here's where people DON'T see the same colour. Some people have a defective cone type... or two... or three... and therefore their ability to differentiate colour is less than the normal person's. They'll still be able to see some colours, but the ones they can't differentiate will be grey (I think).

Ask me anything

90's dance s2

2010-05-18T14:44:00.001-07:00

tear

2010-05-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

My phone is way too old. I can only store 125 messages before my inbox is too full to get anymore. It really sucks to have to delete messages T______T

Pants = Love

2010-05-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

I GOT MY MOTHERFUCKING CD'S IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!

Yeah.

Student Politics

2010-05-12T05:16:00.000-07:00

A joke funnier than Law students being ethical.

o//////////////o

2010-05-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

I have a cold.

I think I managed to single-handedly destroy my immune system this week.

Karmic forces are at work. When I'm happy and having super amounts of fun, life sucker punches me in the face.

Never

2010-05-05T03:40:00.000-07:00

Got all the links to the songstowearpants too back catalogue.

Gosh darn it, this week just keeps getting better! I feel insanely happy and content.

And to top it all off I'm going to be all unsociable and dive into a book.

<3

So. Fricking. High.

2010-05-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

Made a list of 100 things that make me happy on Friday.

19 of them happened today.

I feel bloody fantastic. You would not even BELIEVE.

Match made in heaven

2010-05-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

An attention whore and a voyeur.

Seriously, think about it. A voyeur likes to watch people do things. While in the normal sense of the word the things that a voyeur likes to watch are sexual in nature, this can extend to other things. Like Facebook stalking people. And staring at people on public transport.

An attention whore is someone who loves attention, and will do anything to get that attention. Maybe it's a pride thing. Maybe it's a needy thing. Who knows? In any case everything an attention whore does is carefully archived away into photos, videos or words to be accessed via some social networking site.

The perfect couple... the attention whore regulars acts and reaches out for validation while the voyeur watches and gives their silent (or not so silent) approval.

Pretty messed up huh?

Something important?

2010-04-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

That day is coming up.

I'm not sure of the exact date anymore. I mean, I think I know it, but I'm not completely sure.

I am rummaging through my past, documents and files that might give me an accurate description of what happened... but I can't find them.

It feels like I've misplaced some fundamental aspect of my past.

This is what panic feels like.

Describe the most beautiful dream you've had...

2010-04-29T02:07:00.001-07:00

I don't particularly remember the dreams I have when I'm asleep, but I have written some of them down. One involved anthropomorphic celestial beings, and falling in love with one of them. I don't remember it though, so I can't exactly describe it.

Ask me anything

Favourite pokemon?

2010-04-29T02:02:00.001-07:00

So much nostalgia involved with this question... gosh where do I start? I actually used to watch the Pokemon series on T.V. and I pretty much fell in love with Meowth from Team rocket. He just had the saddest back story (Well at the time I was 10. Sue me. Actually, don't), and it always struck me as hilariously funny that Meowth was the only Pokemon that could talk (Well... at the time, we're not including the later films and arcs).

Then I got into the game. The original blue version... the first Pokemon I chose was Bulbasaur. I think I got pretty attached to that Bulbasaur, and if I ever lost a battle it was a personal affront.

Then there was Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire. I'm pretty sure I started with Torchick with one, then Treecko with the other, then I started the game again with Mudkip. Now while Mudkip (then Marshtomp, and subsequently Swampert) was pure pwnage in battle, I held a soft for Torchic because it was just so darn cute (and it's evolved forms were also pretty rad).

But damn, it's hard to pick a favourite! I think I might go with Torchic because I'm lame like that ^_________^

Ask me anything

Would you rather solve global warming or solve poverty?

2010-04-28T20:07:00.001-07:00

Interesting question. While it is really important that we still have a viable planet to live on in a 100 years time or so, I think I'd rather solve poverty first. This is mainly because I believe once everyone has a decent standard of living, there'd be a greater range of people who would then be equipped to solve global warming.

But of course, I'm looking at this pragmatically. If I were a genie of some sort, and had the power to solve one with the click of my fingers... I'd still fix poverty first. When I think about poverty I think it includes your quality of life, AND things like health and education.

Also, Global Warming, as such is not really the problem here. Yes, there seems to be an increase in temperature, resulting in the melting of the ice caps... and the imminent destruction of Tuvalu. But there's also a host of other environment problems not just related to the climate. I'm not sure how much would change if "Global Warming" were solved, because then none of the other issues (I'm thinking deforestation... desertification... holes in the ozone etc) would have really been impacted. Overall, poverty seems (in my humble and not really educated opinion) the more wide-reaching issue here.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-04-28T14:42:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything ;) http://formspring.me/gnataes

Tell me

2010-04-28T03:33:00.000-07:00

Aww sheet.

urgh

2010-04-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

vomiting up vodka is not something you want to be doing at 2:30am on a weekday.

mind blown

2010-04-24T20:02:00.000-07:00

Devil's Advocate: BIGGEST MIND FUCK EVER

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" - Marla: Fight Club

The overall tone of the film was apocalyptic, dissonant and grey like a winter's day. The issues within the film made for difficult watching, and yet at the same time it was dangerously seductive, hypnotic and compelling.

After watching it I fell into the foetal position, cried and went into an angst coma. I exaggerate, but the film did affect me immensely. There are many reason why I think it did.

As a law student, I feel that I am becoming increasingly amoral. The protagonist's descent into amorality leads to the destruction of his world and of the person he loves the most. Also in this film, lust and pride were the two main 'sins' that led the protagonist to his downfall struck a chord. We all have a self-preserving bias, and we all want to be wanted and loved.

Maybe I was worried by this film because I internalised the fact that being a law student, having a fairly positive view of myself, and wanting to be loved was going to send me to hell or would result in the birth of the Anti-christ.

Maybe I'm just being silly. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I don't know.

Edit: some epic quotes from the Devil himself... er I mean Al Pacino, playing the Devil:

"Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!

You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God... and where can you go from there?

I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him. In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist."

My world feels so off centre right now.

It's been ten days, without you in my reach.

2010-04-23T04:22:00.000-07:00

Work is a lot less fun without Work guy and Work guy 2 around :| Work guy 2 was SUPPOSED to be teaching today but he skived off ==" And I didn't finish off the book I was typing because I had to teach. Oh well, I'll still get paid. Mr. Boss didn't turn up, but Mrs. Boss was there later in the afternoon. It was strangely quiet at work.

I had lunch by myself today. How sad.

It's probably because ANZAC day is coming up.

Something I found on DLS:

"There should be someone constantly following you, with big, strong, warm arms, waiting for whenever you need a good hug.

Now would be the time for one of those hugs :ccc"

I am a car that runs on hugs.

I don't even speak korean!

2010-04-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

This is stuck in my head at the moment:

This is what was stuck in my head about one month ago:

There's that little bit of english, and the rest I can only mumble. So, so insanely catchy though -_-

Also, random side note: No facebook since Friday night. Because I can. And it's not like anyone notices. But I feel so much happier without it.

No one would pay for these thoughts

2010-04-18T05:11:00.000-07:00

I learnt at some point that thoughts are just thoughts. They don't define you, they may not even be your real opinion and they are definitely rebuttable.

1) I need help. I still haven't learnt that procrastination has long term negative consequences >=(
2) I don't think about trust issues anymore. If people hurt me, they'll hurt me. I'll just learn not to answer their questions truthfully.
3) Most of my friends are reliable.
4) I'm not replying back to letters due to sheer laziness... and I don't care anymore.
5) Nathan Fillion in Castle is awesome.
6) I'm going to have fun learning to start conversations with people in creative ways.
7) I want to learn how to make mash ups.
8) Bouncing ideas and theories off my family is actually pretty fun. Time consuming, but fun.
9) I can't stand not talking to people. Holidays where I'm stuck at home ARE THE WORST.
10) I got a hair cut. I miss my hair, split ends and all.

Dirty little secrets

2010-04-17T05:15:00.000-07:00

It's been approximately nine months since I started posting there, and it's made me feel a little less lonely. Every time I've shared a secret or a thought there I felt as though they no longer haunted me, and I was no longer ashamed of them. I'm going to share some here, because I feel like it. In no particular order, and of little interest to any of the readers here... probably.

This will be a long post, chock-a-block full of crazy. Read at your own risk.

Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:46 pm
I was blindsided by [him] on Saturday.

Then I remembered [he] was afraid of heights.

Aww.

Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:23 am
I want to make sweet, sweet music with [him].

Sat Jul 25, 2009 9:28 am
I did everything [he] told me to do, including dating my first boyfriend.

Nowadays my ex won't talk to me. It's like I don't exist anymore.

And [he] doesn't want me either. [He's] never wanted me. But now I'm ok with that. I just wish I could talk to [him] normally, to prove that I'm over [him].

Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:34 am
The last time I freaked out. I just kept looking down. I stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinking about. The next time we hang out I will redeem myself, my heart can't rest 'till then. Now I can't wait to see you again.

But seriously, I'm such an idiot around [him]. Why can't we just talk like normal people =/

Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:28 pm
I was looking forward so much to meeting up with my friends from highschool on Saturday.

It didn't occur to me that they would change after a year, that I wouldn't feel connected to them anymore, and that they'd make new friends.

It wasn't a nasty surprise or anything, but it still saddens me to know that I was surprised.

Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:51 pm
We promised we'd stay friends when it was all over.

We didn't.

Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:52 am
I've been pretending for the last 12 days that I haven't been on facebook so I don't have to write "happy birthday" on the walls of my old high-school friends. I was close to these with these friends while I was in highschool, but now that we're in university, we don't talk much anymore =/

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:23 pm
Perfect is over-rated.

Also, the only sandwich I'll ever make for [you] will be laced with poison, [you] misogynist jerk.

Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:53 pm
Stop calling, stop calling I don't want to think anymore, I left my heart and my head on the dancefloor.

Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:21 pm
Apparently Imogen was in Sydney, and I somehow didn't hear about it. I am full of RAAAAAAAAAGE as of this moment.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:10 pm
I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"

Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:06 pm
fear the zero
Sometimes, I post in here just to post and hope
that someone might quote me.
It makes me feel like I'm connecting with them,
even for a moment,
and that I'm not completely invisible.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:56 pm
wealthy franchise
Casidhe Wetherington
I'm stoked for the Avatar: The Last Airbender movie

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:37 pm
Sometimes, I wish there weren't such negative connotations to women having and enjoying sex.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:33 pm
I should get to work. But it seems as though I don't want to.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:28 pm
I feel extremely fortunate. I am fairly attractive, my family is awesome, I live in a pretty good country, I'm fed three or more times a day, I'm doing a course I enjoy.

And yet, I feel guilty because not everybody gets this lucky.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:19 pm
Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter

Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:42 pm
Things that I look for in a man: Smart, funny, talkative, attractive, dances, sings, plays an instrument, kind, sweet and slightly romantic.

Essentially a male version of myself.

This worries me.

Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:03 pm
I think my smile is my secret weapon. People are forced to smile back at me. I love it.

Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:35 pm
having acid reflux is a good cover for bulimia.

Sat Aug 29, 2009 10:33 pm
Putting on weight pros and cons

Pros:
- bigger boobs
- selective filtering of people who only like me because of how I look

Cons
- i feel ugly
- i am told constantly by random people that I'm putting on weight
- when I dance I can't do things like dips, lifts or jumps without looking like a flying pig.
- heart disease

Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:29 pm
I really hate driving.

Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:08 pm
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down

Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:57 am
Revolving Hips
I do get excited when I get a PM.

Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:42 pm
Uncle Johnny
MY MOTHER. SHOULD. NOT. GO TO CONCERTS.
:l
over it.
i'm not allowed to, why should you?

Tue Jul 28, 2009 8:26 pm
jenny_at_the_disco49
my first kiss sucked.

Sat Jul 25, 2009 1:03 am
I want to try and eat only one meal a day... but if I don't go to the kitchen every 2/3 hours a day to snack, or make something to eat I actually save about two hours, with which I don't know what to do with.

So now I've put on weight. I've put on about 2 kilos since uni started... and they're not budging. I have to wear loose/baggy clothes to hide the rolls of fat I have on my stomach.

Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:52 pm
Actually, screw that. I hope I hurt you like hell.

Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:44 pm
I hope you're feeling better now that you have someone to blame.

Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:24 am
Ok, I'll just not talk to you. If you email/fb/msn/txt I will not reply. I sent you six words and look how you reacted O_o

goodnight DLS

Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:15 am
Well you can get bent too.

You know what this means.

Get on your knees and pray!

Oh Tofu, you give me the giggles ^^ Well I'll be happy if I can have you, and Chrissy can have Mark ^~^

Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:05 am
I know this friendship is dying, but somehow I can't bring myself to care. All I can think of is how much of an immature brat you are.

Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:01 am
To the last parade
When the parties fade
And the choice you made
To the End.

Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:59 am
Uncle Johnny
I don't know what people see in me, honestly.
I don't know why you want to be anything with me anymore.
I disgust you, you've said it more than twice.
I'm a bad friend, you've said it before.

I know that, so I moved away.
I didn't want to be a bad friend, so I became a distant friend.
I don't know what you want from me.

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME.
I'm a horrid person, I know!
Every time you get close to me, you just find something else that you don't like.
Why can't you just stay on the surface like every one else and be happy?
:/

i don't want to be a mean person anymore.
i don't want to be a disgusting thing anymore.
i don't want to be anymore.

Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:44 pm
You think you're special, but I know, yeah I know, yeah I know that we know that you're not.

Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:04 pm
srsli just gtfo of my life already.

Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:48 pm
When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

I'm watching this friendship die, and I don't care anymore.

Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:48 am
I suppose I shouldn't have sent that text expecting a reply
Mon Mar 22, 2010 9:02 pm
x Sephiralen x
It used to kill me when I'd see he was online but not talking to me.
I'd literally go nuts.
I've come far.

Mon Mar 22, 2010 8:45 pm
It's probably silly, but everytime I start obsessing over some new guy, I always play "Goodnight and Go" on repeat over and over. I makes me feel happy and silly and just general stalkerish. Hmm. Not sure if those belong in the same sentence.

Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:18 pm
I bet it was him on the bus. Same style of shirt he usually wears, same haircut, right kind of shape. Ah maybe it's just wishful thinking because I haven't seen him in a month -_-

Whoever it was, the thought of having them wake up with a giant mark on their face makes me chortle.

Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:36 pm
Oh god. It's his birthday tomorrow. I don't know if I should acknowledge it or not.

Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:12 pm
Now that I've texted him, I have no real desire to talk to him again. Sure it might be interesting, but it's not a pressure I have to succumb to anymore.

Sun Mar 14, 2010 9:11 pm
I may be a little guilty of overdramatising my life so that it suits the songs that I listen to.

Even when I daydream, I chicken out before asking him out. What's wrong with me?

Okay, I'm not that stupid.

2010-04-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

So I keep thinking about what my boss said. She told me that I should keep my co-workers at an arms distance. She meant literally... bringing up the no-touching-rule and all. I've chosen to accept that in its figurative sense. It's quite logical not to invest emotionally into any co-worker, particularly as most of us are busy uni students. We don't see anyone in particular regularly, and out schedules are rarely stable.

You have to do what you have to in order to show that you're friendly. Sure that might mean having a nice conversation during your coffee break, or going for lunch together.

You just have to make sure at the same time that you're not willing to go beyond the usual "How are you, how was your weekend" kind of deal. So if their wife dies you express your sadness for them, but don't offer to be there emotionally for them when you should be working. Cold? A little perhaps, but if their wife died should they really be at work?

Point is: yes boss, I am aware that you are advising me to be somewhat distant to a certain co-worker. Thank you for the advice that getting involved with him would be a bad idea in the long run. I am aware of all this, and you talking about it with me is just so very, very awkward.

Quick recap of holidays

2010-04-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

7th: LADY. FUCKING. GAGA. And Semi-Precious Weapons. We (Pendragon + uni buddy, Morgan + GF) we definitely wet and excited for the amazing Miss Gaga. She is a being of pure energy on stage, drawing strength from the audience the amplifying it at least tenfold back to the audience. She gives everything into her performance, singing, dancing and just generally being awesome. Yeah. YEAH. IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

We also went to some jap restaurant for dinner. Morgan's GF eats a shitload. Even more than Pendragon. And that's saying something.

8th: First day back at work for me for this holiday, and coincidentally first day back for work guy. Since we hadn't spoken for about 6 weeks we were a leeeeeeeetle too friendly. And consequently our boss told us off x.x oops.

Apparently work guy is a casual dating slut because when he sees someone (regardless of gender) he hasn't talked to in a while, he goes with them for coffee/lunch/dinner/a movie or something similar that you would do on a casual date. I find this amusing. While we were having lunch, an older (fat) lady made suggesting eyebrow wiggles at him. BWAHAHAHA Even the memory of this amuses me. It did not amuse him.

I, on the other hand, am a people slut... according to Doormat. I can't go (so he says) for 5 minutes with saying hi to someone I know. I can't help it! I just like waving to people. And getting barred is just lip-smackingly delicious.

9th: Morgan's b'day at Bicentennial park. We got lost on the way there (because I was navigating D=), and we got lost on the way back (Because Pendragon was supposed to be navigating... but Cyan and I navigated instead)... then we got back on the right track after an emergency call to mum. Fun times

Fun quotes:
Jellybean: So around Homebush is DFO, the park, where they're having the Easter show and a cemetery right?
Me: *not quite paying attention* BOW CHIKA WOW WOW.
Jellybean + Cyan: WORST TIME TO SAY THAT EVER!!!!!!!!!11

*Pendragon straddling the back of a bench*
Us: Doesn't that hurt?
Pendragon: No it's ok! *points to crotch area* It's hollow!

So we chilled at the park... and climbed on the epic rope structure thing... while disapproving parents looked on ^^"

Then we went to Morgan's house. Awesome dude's twin did an EPIC HARDCORE shuffle to a techno song, and Morgan (like Jellybean a long long time ago) experienced a split second moment of pure regret in midair during a jump into his backyard pool sometime at night. People kept stealing Cookies' Strongbow (or rather awesome dude's twin's Strongbow).

12th: work + stuffed up with time management

13th: work + pwned a student

14th: work + stuffed up again + getting advice/being told off.

Well I got advice about how to teach better.

And then my boss somehow segued into telling me in a really round-about way not to be too friendly with people at work. Well she told me flat out that if a co-worker wants to touch me I should say no. HAHAHAHA out of context that sounds so wrong. She made a hugging gesture at that point, not a grabbing bum kind of gesture.

Anyway, that's my recap. I've been making money yes, but I haven't studied. I am in trouble. I shall start today. Promise.

High Heels: The Modern Day Equivalent of Foot Binding.

2010-04-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

I was talking to Bob the other day about how high heels were a symbol of how ingrained patriarchy was. How else could you explain why women willingly inflict pain (and future permanent physiological damage) upon themselves in order to appear more attractive? The reasons for wearing highheels are similar to the reasons for foot binding: they make your feet look smaller, they limit your gait, and they emphasise the movement of your legs/hips/thighs: all of which are meant to make you appear more erotic.

Not to mention that wearing some high heels hurts like hell. Foot binding hurt horrendously too.

I argued that heels made you taller. Bob said that height is a positive construct created by men, and men on average are taller than women.

I didn't really have anything to say to that.

But if women want to suffer for fashion and appearance, then we oughta let 'em right?

I think I'll avoid wearing heels where possible. I can move my hips without them, and I've accepted the fact that I'm never going to be tall so what's the point?

On another quasi-feminist tangent: LADY GAGA TOMORROW. I am excitement.

Man people have such negative attitudes towards her. Who cares if she may or may not be a hermaphrodite? Who cares if she knows and embraces her sexuality?

I read somewhere that Lady Gaga exploits sex appeal to sell records. WHATEVER MANG. The only reason why sex sells is because people can't have it. According to the Christians, Jews, Muslims, Asians, the Capitalists and you get the point.

Her music is good. It's gone back to what pop music should be, just awesome tunes and no super deep meanings.

Yay! New Kicks

2010-03-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

It's sad that the most exciting part of my day included buying a new pair of kitten heeled black pumps, and eating toast with ANOTHER younger, interesting male co-worker (>^__^>). Hmm... I don't know if I've ever mentioned it but my job is really awesome. Here's why:

1) My bosses are really awesome. They give me free food, and don't really have a lot of rules except: don't talk too much, don't listen to music and don't surf the web.

2) The pay. It's not a lot, but then again it's definitely below the limits of the tax bracket, hence I don't have to pay tax. It's also enough for me to save up, and also spend from time to time.

3) The students. Teaching is surprisingly fun (and easy).

4) The co-workers. Because it's a tutoring place, we're always recruiting young, smart high-school/uni students. It's a pretty easy way of making friends.

5) The flexibility. Unless otherwise organised my work hours are based on my schedule.

Anyway, that's enough procrastinating for now. T_T

Do I have secrets?

2010-03-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure. I'm sure that in some way or form I have expressed every single thought that I've obsessed over either by telling someone, blogging about it or posting it in Dirty Little Secrets on Gaiaonline (I've even been quoted sometimes. It is an odd feeling).

I'm not sure if this transparency is a good or a bad thing. But at least I don't have secrets.

Days of the week

2010-03-20T07:25:00.001-07:00

More relationship advice

2010-03-08T03:10:00.000-08:00

Ne... there's this guy I really like.

Me: Okay...? And?

He's cute, funny, smart and really really nice.

Me: God. Where do you meet these people.

Haha, very funny. I asked him out subtly... but he said no. Should I ask him again?

Me: Oh... honey... No. Just no. Don't you have any pride?

But I'm sure he likes me? Maybe he's not into going to see that particular movie.

Me: ... I think he's just letting you down gently.

*sniff* But I really like this guy! Maybe he'll change his mind?

Me: I dunno... Maybe. I'm sorry I can't help you =/

***

-_- Why do I get the feeling that somebody, somewhere out there is laughing at me?

***

And I totally saw bus guy again today. Which doesn't make sense, because I thought he transferred unis =/

Cosmic Irony...

2010-03-01T03:36:00.000-08:00

... is... actually I'm not sure what it is.

But I think that it's something like this: people talking to me about their relationship problems... and me feeling compelled to make some comment about it/give advice...

Yes. Because I am the most qualified to be giving out relationship advice. Not being in any significant kind of romantic relationship for 2 and a bit odd years. Go me.

A number is a funny thing.

2010-02-26T03:07:00.000-08:00

Work guy used a sneaky method of getting my number. He told me that my phone was so old and it was bound to break soon. Then he said he might as well get my number now if I was going to keep my number after getting a new phone... pranking his phone using my phone.

So now I have another... pretty much useless... phone number in my phone. I don't know what to do with it. I want to call him, but maybe I'm supposed to wait or something. It's not like he's going to have any time to see me once he starts uni next week.

Figures he'd leave it to the last day that we'll see each other to get my number. Baka-yaro.

The other useless number I have is Bus guy's number... which I'm totally deleting... like right now.

On the flip-side, I saw Nee-hime today with her BF. That was nice.

I also got paid today. I am getting that much closer to my plane tickets to thailand. yeearr.

Influential Halfies of my Life

2010-02-25T04:10:00.000-08:00

Ange, Sass, and Fil: My bestie from year 2, and onwards and her older and younger sibling. They influenced a lot of the music I listen to now, and general behaviour patterns... like treating friends like literal family. We slept at each other's houses, and they also slept over at my cousin's houses too. Then they disappeared.

Sass says they moved. Whatever. But dance truly unites and reunites people... because she is at uni, and in the dance society with me... as a krumper.

Deewhy: A major primary school obsession/academic+dramatic+dance rival. I say obsession because I was both fascinated by the interest he was receiving from all the girls in the grade, and rival because I wanted to beat his ass at everything.

Cookies: Current bestie, from highschool. Understands my unintelligle mutterings. *sappy emotional stuff*

Bus guy: first cute *and* interesting guy at uni.

Anyway, tl;dr version: OMG childhood friends who I thought had disappeared forever and ever make a sudden, unexpected reappearance in my life. I am having a weird day and thinking weird thoughts.

O-week shenanigans

2010-02-22T03:59:00.000-08:00

6:20am: Wake up, brush teeth, get changed, comb hair, grab lunch, eat breakfast
7:18am: Leave house for bus
7:23am: Argue with bus driver about fare. He wanted to give me what he thought was a cheaper ticket (but it was more expensive) ... but I wasn't going that way so I refused. He thought me very stupid.
8:05am: Arrive at uni. No one I know is there. People slowly start to trickle in, and eventually we practice our dance routine on the grass. Flirted with one of the Kelly brothers with my eyes. (Yeah... nah. I just looked at him with stalker eyes... which he thought was hilarious)
9:00am: Set up the Rotaract stall. Bothered... er talked to people all morning. Me and Bob plan on trolling the Socialist alternative booth at some point in the week. Our argument would be:

Bob: You shouldn't support homosexual marriage because marriage is a religious institution, and religion is the opiate of the masses. Hence, as the Socialist alternative who is supposed to be religion free, homosexual marriage is useless.
Me: Annnd, the whole concept of monogamy is what underpins Capitalist society. The whole advertising sector works based on the societal perception that sex is something forbidden, only to be experienced by a monogamous pair. Hence, by promoting and supporting homosexual marriage, you are further supporting the idea that monogamy is a good value, hence you are supporting Capitalism.

Weee. Fun.
11:00am: Law, lawyers and society. The lecturer looks like fun =]

1pm: Helped out somewhat at the Rotaract stall, then moseyed over the the MDA stall to do a last minute rehearsal.

2pm: Performed. Kinda shit, kinda fun. They also had a workshop where they taught a couple (literally a couple) of moves from Beyonce's Single ladies. One guy went absolutely nuts! He was friggin epic. He's so cute, I'm going to adopt him as my little brother.

3pm: Eating lunch, recruiting people

4pm: Perception Lecture. In the first hour, the lecturer used the exact same slides as the ones he used last semester (suck for us second years, probably awesome for the third years). Second hour was okay.

6pm: hometime!

I was right... i guess

2010-02-19T02:12:00.000-08:00

Slightly less than a year ago, a friend of mine talked to me about her relationship troubles. I predicted (not to her face), that the reason why she was having problems was because it was a relationship stemming from highschool, and that it wouldn't last much longer. I was right... and now she's in another relationship.

Being the gossip that I am, I enjoy digging out details about people's lives... whether it's some traumatic memory from when they were 16, to the newest item of clothing that they bought, to what their parents do for a living. People interest me... most of the time. The only time I don't find people interesting is when I'm in an extremely bad mood.

I guess I'm trying to segue into something another friend told me last week. What she said was that a couple of years back, another friend of mine approached her for sex. What she was confused about was that he considered her to be like a sister... and yet he wanted her sexually. Apparently this guy can't tell the difference between love and lust... to him they are pretty much the same thing.

Which brings me to (yeah... ok, so I'm not so great with segues. So sue me. Actually don't.) the fact that it's only been more recently that I've been able to tell the difference between lust... and actually liking someone enough to consider being in any semblance of a relationship with them.

Yup, you know it. I am a friggin genius.

And hey, what do you know but at the moment I don't particularly like anyone. Which is sad... but hey, I guess there's less opportunities to be hurt... or disappointed... or angry.

I don't feel well educated enough to make any political posts anytime soon... so maybe once I know enough about Marxism, Nietzsche, and just more political discourse in general I might write something more substantial. Till then, CBF.

I'd rather put my hand in hot glue.

2010-02-17T03:27:00.000-08:00

I am so very very angry at the MDA right now. Tomorrow, it'll turn into disappointment. But right now, I am just extraordinarily angry.

Mentoring!

2010-02-16T02:07:00.000-08:00

Today I got to meet the 5 first year students I'll be mentoring for the year. Woohoo! 4 girls (just graduated from highschool), one guy (who graduated in 'o8 like us second years... and he's been working for the past year).

Pretty cool bunch. a couple sing/dance/act/play an instrument (or some combination of the above). One guy has a last fm account xD so I'll add as soon as I can get facebook to work. And we'll meet up for coffee next week, and next year we'll be friends for ever and ever.

No, I'm kidding. I'll stick around as long as they need me/can cope with my craziness >_>

During the introductory speeches we did impromptu skits. I was the "annoying girl with the mobile phone" a.k.a. "Urine sample girl" Got the idea from the Chasers: below.

*phone rings* (from across the room, someone yells SHUT UP!)
Me: Hello, I called you earlier? Yeah you know the urine sample I was supposed to give you? I keep missing the cup. I put it in a bottle *pulls out bottle of berocca*. Is that ok? Alright I'll be there in a sec. Bye" *exit stage left*

Yeah... FUN!

Then I picked out my mentees, and took them to a classroom to drug them... er I mean get to know them. I got them to imagine that they were shipwrecked for a day... and pulled out a roll of toilet paper.

They had to take as much paper as they thought they'd need. I took about twenty sheets (just to set an example). The catch to this game is that for every square of toilet paper you took, you had to tell the group a fact about yourself. That was fun, and very educating =D

I took them on a tour of the uni, then we had lunch.

Then after that I went to dance practice... which was fail.

TL;DR: Mentoring: WIN. Dancing: FAIL.

Passive aggressive teaching methods

2010-02-15T04:03:00.000-08:00

Gotta love giving 10 year olds what for and a good old beat down speech.

Naw I'm kidding, the kids that I teach are fricking adorable.

I never yell... I just sneak up behind them while they're busy chatting to their neighbour... and remind them in a sweet but sinister voice that they ought to be doing work... and that I'd be watching.

I am a creepy, creepy teacher.

But hey, it shuts the kids up. Rule with the fist of fear, right Machiavelli?

Speaking of work, I may have neglected to mention (okay... I neglected to mention it on purpose) that the new guy at work is approximately 14 months younger than I am.

If I were Christian, I would probably be going to hell.

As it stands, I am not. I am a Buddhist. I will most likely be reborn as a worm. A WORM.

This momentary lapse into silliness was brought to you by Dilmah: Peach Tea + giant spoon of sugar. And pizza.

awkward silence

2010-02-10T23:04:00.000-08:00

Yeah, hate when they happen:

- like when you reveal that you know something about someone... except they've never told you... you found out on facebook.

- Or when you blurt out that someone is cute... but you don't actually know them... and they're a shop assistant.

- Or when you realise mid-conversation that you've been spending a lot of time with a certain co-worker... alone... and that you don't want other co-workers to think that something is happening between the two of you... so you stop talking for a bit.

- Or when you bump into a high-school school mate and have a conversation and he keeps looking at his watch... so you tell him you've got to go home.

Yeah. And I thought I'd get less awkward the older I got =/

Whacked out happenings

2010-02-09T03:56:00.000-08:00

Wednesday 3/2/10
1) At parra station, a guy came up and asked me for $2 to get home. Then he muttered incoherently at me.
2) Also at parra station, a guy who seemed fairly well dressed walked up to the bin next to my bench and started sifting through the contents, first targeting coffee cups, then finally finding half an old donut. He picked it out and ate it as he walked off.

Thursday 4/2/10
1) Learned some more belly dancing
2) Spotted one of the Kelly Brothers working hard on something.

Saturday 6/2/10
1) Spud's birthday party. Passion pop, people wearing paper bags on their head and passive floating sensations in my head.

Monday 8/2/10
1) Fun neck hurting times from all the hair flicking/head banging/dancing on saturday
2) weird dizziness after watching rotating advertisements on tv in the middle of the food court

Tuesday 9/2/10
1) Witnessed a prang on one of three main roads. A car pulled into the bus lane of the main road to escape traffic. Simultaneously a car sped down an intersecting main road, turned into the main road i was standing on. Speeding car collided with car pulling out. Literally jumped back a bit (parts of car were flying around at low velocities)
2) Did some student mentor training. Swapped name tags with a dude at the end of the day, and got funny looks from people walking past.
3) saw the londonette's ex boyfriend on the bus to towers. Saw said ex do a double take at the name tag (or me... I'm not sure if I look different to 10 years ago or whatever)

I am a pervert.

2010-02-05T01:33:00.001-08:00

Probably.

New guy at work. Talks very fast (walks even faster). Kind of witty, sort of pretty. Odd sort of name too.

Has a physique like a shop mannequin. He has the elusive triangle shaped torso. It'd be a very interesting shape to draw if I was was an artist. Except I'm not. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you think about it) he looks rather nice in long sleeved shirts, especially if they're tucked in.

Um.

In other news:

- Pay rise
- Volunteered for Student Mentoring 2010
- Performing for O-week
- Booked tickets for Thailand for the end of the year
- Bought my first pair of high heels with my own money
- Cousins from NZ popped by over the holidays. Went to various places, ate at various restaurants.

Australian Internet Censorship: The New Ingsoc.

2009-12-18T05:14:00.000-08:00

Stephen Conroy, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, is pushing for ISP filtering in Australia. He plans to get the legislation through before the next election. According to Conroy, the censor will protect children from coming across inappropriate material.

Since when do we need a nanny state? It should be up to the parents to protect their children from material their children should or should not be seeing, and even this should be limited. A twelve year old may be counted as a children under law, but my youngest brother can make rational decisions (and can probably get around the filter anyway).

If this censor is enforced, Australia will be on a slippery slope to becoming a police state. Already, our right to free speech is impinged upon by law. Our rights to free speech not protected, and furthermore our rights are not protected by law.

The internet censorship will be the first of it's kind in Western Democracy. It will restrict not only freedom of expression, but also freedom of information and will push Australia out of the international market for digital media.

My only hope now is that the senate doesn't put the legislation through.

Fan-fucking-tastic

2009-11-28T21:40:00.003-08:00

The police and an ambulance at my house. Don't I feel fucking special.

conflict of interest

2009-11-19T04:05:00.000-08:00

tomorrow:

1) work
2) Pendragon's shindig
3) study

I probably need to go to work because I'm saving up for my bro and I to go to Thailand.

I probably need to get out and see my friends again

I probably need to get a head start on cramming for my last two exams.

All at the same time =/

my mum is awesome

2009-10-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

my mum drove me to uni yesterday so i could hand in my assignment on time. i think if i hadn't handed in the statistics assignment on time my pride would totally be destroyed, and i probably would have just given up on everything.

but i got it in on time. and now i'm doing psychology.

next is my law presentation =/

but i have to do whatever i have to do to get it done right?

and then afterwards I'm going to party like there's no tomorrow.

p.p.s

2009-10-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

I'm probably going to get the "I told you so" speech from dad tomorrow.

I caved and talked to my mum about how terrified i am of failing some of my subjects this semester. I really needed to make sure I wasn't going to be crucified for failing time management. She said it was okay. I feel slightly better.

Anyway. Shower, then back to work.

diving into my own destruction

2009-10-18T02:09:00.000-07:00

so i'm taking a bit of a break. I've written 1152 words for my anthropology essay, and i have about 348 more words to go.

i really dug my own grave this semester.

i feel like i can't breathe.

Reasons why fridays are awesome, and weekends are not

2009-10-09T02:29:00.000-07:00

1) On fridays, you catch the bus home with chivalrous-bus-guy.

I actually talked to him today. He's a friend of a friend, and I snagged an introduction. He plays in a band as the bassist/keyboardist. He is half-asian (and by extension ridiculously cute) and does environmental management.

Wait, wait, wait: awesome guy checklist ==>

[x] Musical
[x] funny
[x] uses brain for processes more complex than motor function
[?] open minded
[x] tolerant
[?] attentive
[?] emotional depth
[x] courageous

Well 5/8 is pretty decent, hahaha but I digress

Did I mention he's chivalrous? He gave up his seat under the bus shelter so I wouldn't have to stand in the rain. Aww.

And we catch the same bus regularly ^_______^

But speaking of bus guys, I remember at schoolies I was asked who I liked. I actually lied and made up a story about how I liked this cute guy I met on the bus. Well, heck.

And speaking of bus guys, I have not seen scooter/slogan guy around in ages. It probably does not help that I am no longer running in an election, nor do I take Ancient history. I am more interested in slogan guy's slogans than I am of slogan guy... it piques my curiousity you see =]

2) I've been banned from going out this weekend

Not in those words exactly but dad said: I don't want to control your life but...

There's always that but.

This means I can go watch our very own Piano Prodigy at his Fmus performance, nor will I be going to any birthday parties.

3) It's raining today

Rain makes everything better.

4) You go to work, and your boss offers you more interesting work

On Monday I get to edit their proposed 4u/extension 2 booklet. This is more interesting work than 5/6 G.A./maths trial papers. Abstract math ftw!

Ah look at me, getting all excited about numbers. I'm weird like that.

5) Your cheque will clear in 3 business days

I.e. today! I have a pretty healthy amount of dosh to save up now. Thailand 2010 here I come!

Okay. I lied. Weekends don't suck that much. I have more time to do stuff.

Anyhoo, back to work.

Blame Tara

2009-08-15T15:38:00.000-07:00

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as MelRoXx of the blog Life of a Mean Jean. She explains that she was tagged to do the meme by gaelikaa and she states that it's called The Blame Tara Meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: Sunday Stealing: The Blame Tara Meme

Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star?

Currently, I'm obsessed with David Tennant @.@

But I guess normally, I'd say Jude Law is pretty spicy, as well as Scarlett Johansson.

Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?

The most expensive thing that I've bought with money that I've earned is uni textbooks D=

Question 3: What is your most treasured memory?

I have a whole collection of memories from highschool, and I can't pick just one.

Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child?

Books. I loved reading, and reading books got me to where I am now. So in terms of practicality and childhood amusement books were the best investment people have made for me =]

Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

I've made a lot of mistakes, but I guess the biggest mistake I've made (and will probably continue to make) is not utilising my time well =/

Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself.

Open, talkative, outgoing, awkward.

Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008?

Highlight: Birthday party/formal after party

Lowlight: Winter.

Question 8: What was your most embarrassing moment?

Confessing to Wotshisface about my feelings.

Feelings? Pschaaww, what are these feelings you speak of? I have none. PWAHAHAHA

Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself.

I walk around in circles when I'm distressed. I'll actually do several laps of the kitchen/hallway while muttering to myself.

Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be?

Captain Tabouli!!!

No? Ok then, I guess I'd be Hanatarou or Rukia from Bleach, partially because I sort of resemble them, and also because I'm somewhat useless in stressful situations (Hanatarou) and I'm somewhat violent at random times (Rukia).

Woo.

Favourite postsecrets

2009-08-05T03:24:00.000-07:00

Some I can relate to, and some I think a thought provoking, funny or just interesting looking =]

The Alpha Meme

2009-08-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Suzanne from the blog Because Life is a Blessing. She thanks Alpha for the meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Alpha Meme

My roommate and I once: set chopsticks on fire. We were quite the pyromaniacs.

Never in my life have I: broken a bone.

High school was: pretty awesome. Life didn't get much better than that.

When I’m nervous: I wave my hands around a lot, and sometimes I smack people in the face.

My hair: is long and black. Much like Neji's ^^

When I was 5: I was a miniature wedding singer. No kidding folks, I sang and people paid me. Aww yeah, that's was the life.

When I turn my head left: my neck makes this funny cricking noise and it hurts. Is that normal gaiz?

I should be: cleaning my room... or something.

By this time next year: I will hopefully still be having fun.

My favorite aunt is: living in NZ and using skype xD

I have a hard time understanding: spanish. Which is somewhat unfortunate when I salsa. But that doesn't bother me much otherwise.

You know I like you if: I bake you cookies.

My ideal breakfast is: nothing. I prefer not to eat breakfast.

If you visit my home town: you'll be quite cold. Srsli, nz is bloody freezing most of the time.

If you spend the night at my house: be prepared to either boil or freeze to death. Temperature varies according to season.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: I think a flying cat would be cool but it has to look like this:

I shouldn’t have been: sticking my hand into the back of the freezer, because now I can't feel the my hands.

Last night I: braided twiggy's hair into cornrows! HAH! It's your fault for growing your hair out so long =P

A better name for me would be: Captain Tabouli. I'm a superhero at heart.

I’ve been told I look like: my brothers. Despite the fact that they're younger and taller.

If I could have any car, it would be: a nice, cheap fuel efficient car. Who wants to spend money on fuel these days?

Leave it to Meme: Hehe

2009-07-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

The "Leave It to Meme" Meme: http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/07/leave-it-to-meme-meme.html

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Kyddryn from Shadow and Sweetwater. She claims she stole it from someone on Facebook. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date?

Lief. Although technically it was a while after we started 'going out' before we both actually had our first (ever) date.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

Well, music talks to me all the time... but I'd look like a crazy person if I ever tried to talk back =P Well that's what my imaginary friends tell me anyway =/

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Passion pop! Or something like that, I don't exactly remember the name of it. My memory's not so good =/ I think I was in year 4 (about 10 years old), and I went to my best friend's house and they let me try it ^^ Alcoholics start young. Mmm alcohol...

4. What was your FIRST job?

Shop assistant in my parents' bakery. My first paying job was at my cousin's watch kiosk. My first, legally documented job is at a tutoring/coaching college =]

5. What was your FIRST car?

I don't actually own a car, or have a full licence. But, I learnt how to drive in my dad's station wagon, and now I drive both my mum's Aurion and my dad's car... into the kerb, scaring my entire family in the process... I'm not such a great driver D=

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

I went to Thailand with my parents when I was 2.5 I don't remember a great deal of it.

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

My first best friend (according to my parents) is Yve. I talk to her occasionally, because we're both very busy studying Law ^^

The first best friend I remember is Ange. We stuck together from year 2 to year 5 then she and her entire family disappeared off the face of the planet. Well, not literally. I have no idea what's happened to her.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?

I first attended the wedding of my cousins. I have a lot of those. Cousins I mean, not weddings... I was asked to sing two songs, in languages I didn't understand =D

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.

I've never had a roommate... unless you mean my younger brother? Our old house was pretty small, and we actually had to sleep in the same bed. He kicks in his sleep ><

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?

I'd wish to be able to communicate and understand all languages. I think I've always wished for that.

Then I'd pretend that I didn't understand and use my skill to get discounts at asian grocery stores in Cabramatta xD

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

More languages. I love talking, so how much more fun would it be to talk in a few more tongues? =D

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?

No. Unfortunately the first person I fell in love with didn't love me back... I'm pretty sure he thought that I hated him =/ It's rather unfortunate that even back when I was 10 I was a witty, sarcastic little munchkin.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?

Um... besides school, I guess my first lessons were Chinese lessons, because I thought it might be fun... and my parents thought it'd be a good idea.

Then I got lazy, after the 2nd lesson and didn't go ever again. Fail.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Take off my shoes at the door. Why, what do you do?

Jello shots!

2009-07-20T04:55:00.000-07:00

I desperately want to make them.

But there's something supremely pathetic about drinking alone... and neither of my brothers are old enough to drink... not that I'd endorse them drinking D= (they're smarter than I am, and ought to stay that way). I'd make them for the next party that's coming up, but it's being hosted by Babyface, who probably would not appreciate having drunk people around.

Look at them. How could anyone-who's-easily-amused-and-attracted-to-brightly-coloured-things resist?

Speaking of parties, I went to Pendragon's 19th party (I think it was his 19th =S). Funnily enough I was the only girl there... so without me, they would have been having a sausage fest. Actually my presence didn't change anything.... the guys brought party supplies: hats, long balloons, and alcohol.

Of course, like the mature responsible adults we are, we blew up balloons and shaped them into large phalluses. And much hilarity ensued.

I drove to my cousin in law's sister's house yesterday to play badminton + Wii + grand piano, eat dinner, watch Masterchef, play charades, sing karaoke and make attempts at prank calling people at 1am.

From badminton, my arms and ankles are extraordinarily sore. My pride is sore from losing at mario kart (stupid wii mote >=( ). Dinner was delicious (mmm steak and chips... lavishly marinated and salted of course). We took home the leftovers. Surprisingly, no matter what socioeconomic status you belong to, all Asians will use plastic takeaway boxes as Tupperware. I speak the truth. Both my cousin in law and her sister live in humongous, beautiful houses on large plots of land and they both use plastic takeaway containers. It's good to know some things never change.

And thanks to their humongous flat screen T.V, we were able to experience the full surround sound experience of watching the first Naruto movie (english dub... oh the agony...). It wasn't that bad I guess... the best line is when Koyuki-hime watches her father's royal guard leader/manager die, and says: "I can't cry. You have my eyedrops." Heh. A girl after my own heart.

My extended family seems to be really impressed with my plans for the future. I didn't tell them everything though... like how I'm planning to bring the system down from the inside... but that's crazy talk! Don't listen to me haha

Later on in the night I played truth or dare with the kids in the house who weren't playing Maple-story. One of the funnier things we succeed in getting my younger second cousin (once removed) to do was annoy adults. Her dad and his family friend were playing ping pong. I dared her to grab the ping pong ball and run away with it. Hee hee, kids are so cute.

Then we tried prank calling people... but everyone we tried didn't pick up/were asleep. eh. still had fun.

Tomorrow, I plan to enrol in more subjects at uni. I'm not looking forward to that, but I guess if I want to go on exchange I'll have to get enough credits =(

The heretic meme

2009-07-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Arnab Chakreborty from the blog The Heretic. He does not say where he got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/07/heretic-meme.html

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with? Barney-wannabe. lol

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat? A Mediterranean restaurant in Parra... don't remember the name though. I had a really nice seafood paella

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? A strongbow, and before that vodka + lemon lime bitters, and before that vodka + apple juice

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips? eyes

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law? Law ftw haha

6. Best kind of pizza? homemade, with a focaccia base, and copious amounts of olives.

7. What is in store for your future? another 4.5 years of law, hopefully an internship in a law firm, many glorious years as a prosecutor/criminologist/solicitor then a few years doing pro bono work, then retirement, in which I will travel the world.

8. Who was the last band you saw live? The various junior/senior/performance bands at my old highschool's music night =]

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick? Er... I guess if they were living with me I would, but most of my friends live pretty far away from me... and sometimes they don't want my help.

10. How many songs are on your iPod? 8769 songs exactly

11. Where is the last place you drove to? the local shopping centre

12. Where did your last kiss take place? in a beach house

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night? sleeping in my bed. heh.

14. Are you a quitter? No. I actually pretty stubborn. But I'm not stupid. If it's not worth pursuing, I won't fight for it.

15. Who was the last person you had in your house? a few of twiggy's and the other one's friends.

15. What do you think about people who party a lot? I'd probably respect them if they manage to work as much as they party. Otherwise, I'd think they were a bit foolish.

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Hell no. I revel in talking about to make other people uncomfortable though. hehe

17. What was the last CD you purchased? technically, i didn't pay for it per se, but rising sand by robert plant and alison krauss... but i'll say it was included in the entrance fee for supanova.

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love? I think Utada Hikaru and The Beatles

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? All of them except greed. But not to an excess

20. How is your last ex doing? Fine, I guess.

Supanova

2009-06-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Cookies, Twiggy, Gandhi and I went to Supanova. Woo!!! check Cookies' blog for most of the photos =]

We got there at about 9:30 to find an already fast growing line! But luckily, the line was for people who had pre-registered, and the line for people who wanted to buy tickets at the door was a lot shorter... when we got there. Then it grew to epic proportions after =O

We spent most of the day taking photos of all the crazy costumes that people had made/bought, looking at the various merchandise stalls, playing COD 4 (well my bro did), and then towards the end of the day sitting tiredly on the second level of The Dome.

Eventually, Rachelle Lefevre stopped talking, and the Cosplay comp/skits started. Some of the skits were pretty good... some were not so good. There'll probably be vids up on youtube eventually. From where we were sitting, we couldn't see very much of it.

Lastly, we went for the Karaoke comp. I hadn't practiced at all, and just joined on a whim. I sang Aozora no Namida by Hitomi Takahashi, a song that is way out of my range. Cookies hadn't practiced since Animania, and sung Sousei no Aquarion. Gandhi had practiced a lot, and sung Hana by Orange Range. there were like... 7 singers.

Cookies came first (yay!) and Gandhi came second. Pretty awesome, guys ^^

For the trip home, it's a rather complicated process of getting from Sydney Olympic Park to the Western suburbs =/ By public transport, it's train, train (or bus if track work is happening), then bus to get home. Gah.

Anyway, travelling home in costume is rather fun, because it attracts a lot of stares from other passengers. Heh. And it also attracts crazy looking dudes who want to tell you their life story.

Well not quite. I dropped a safety pin on the ground, and me, cookies and gandhi spent a good minute looking for it. Then one of the train drivers/station guards came up and found it. Which led us to a convo about his good eyesight, which led to how his eye was crook from working as a welder, then a hand injury then to him working in the public transport industry.

We waited for Cookies' parents to come pick us up from Parra. While we waited we got hungry, so we ended up a Hungry Jack's. Their cheeseburgers have a rubbery texture. Yuck.

Fun day. Yeeeeewwwwww.

Finish the sentence meme

2009-06-21T00:06:00.000-07:00

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Finish The Sentence Meme: http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/06/finish-sentence-meme.html

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... gave me the strength to focus on my education, and not on my next relationship.

2. I am listening to... Iron Maiden.

3. I talk... a lot.

4. I love... my family.

5. My best friend/s... is awesome.

6. My first real kiss... was not that great. Actually it was pretty gross. Actually, it put me off of kissing for a month.

7. Love is... a lot of things. A blog's worth of things. It can't be defined in a sentence.

8. Marriage is... great for some people, but probably not for me.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... of themselves, probably.

10. I'll always... be really short.

11. The last time I really cried was because... a stupid, stupid mistake was made.

12. My cell phone... is a brick that has lasted quite some time. =]

13. When I wake up in the morning... I usually stay in bed for another few minutes.

14. Before I go to bed... I brush my teeth. Or check Facebook =/

15. Right now I am thinking about... John Mayer. Well a particular song anyway.

16. Babies are... cute I guess.

17. I get on Myspace... NEVER. MySpace is the cesspool of the internet.

18. Today I... drove to Cabramatta =S

19. Tomorrow I will be... working! Then crossing off some things from my 100 things to do before I die list.

20. I really want to be... an agent of global change. Someday.

The sun is high, all the birds are singing...

2009-06-08T03:06:00.001-07:00

...that you're gonna die.

Still ridiculously happy from watching Dr Horrible. I ended up going to watch it with Cookies, Twiggy, Spud, Hedless, Aix, and Bob (who does law with me). We bummed around uni for a bit with Doormat (until he had to leave to beat the traffic), hit McCentre to have dinner, then hit the bar to play pool until the show started.

The best character was Moist, played by Josh Nott, who emulated a downtrodden moisture ridden wanna-be evil henchman extraordinarily well. After that the best character, I think, was Penny, played by Emilia Thomas, who has the loveliest singing voice in student theatre I've heard so far. Equal third is Dr Horrible (Andrew Jackson), Captain Hammer (Christian Berechree). Both played their parts quite well, with their own stamp on the original characters. Then the Bad Horse Men, (Felix Pringle, Chris James, Nick Commins, Nib Brattoni). It was fairly close in terms of who I liked best though.

If you haven't seen the original Dr Horrible sing-along-blog, you need to look it up on youtube and watch it. It's really awesome.

So, it's now stuvac, but I figured I'd have more luck typing up a blog entry about the past semester and what I've learned (not academically that is).

Uni has been pretty good. I'm only doing three subjects (because apparently as a psych student I have to sign waiver forms and the like to do non-core units). Consequently, I have a 3.5 day time table and 11am starts. Which have the dis/advantage of me being relaxed for the entire semester.

Law has been really fascinating. One of the things we discussed was euthanasia and abortion which I found really fascinating... and I will write up a blog about that soon... after the exams. Most of the well spoken people in my classes are fairly intelligent, and the ones that don't speak up I obviously can't tell how intelligent they are. Fortunately there's a handful of people from my highschool doing law at my uni, so it wasn't too hard adjusting to the lectures/tutorials.

Stat, which is a co-requisite subject, has been pretty good too. I still really love my maths. Stat is actually a pretty intersting topic once you get your head around it... well maybe if you as obsessed about numbers as I am. I'm very happy I did the harder one... I probably would have slashed my wrists if I had to do stat170 =P Most of the people doing this subject are actuarial students, who are also fairly intelligent.

Psych, while in some aspects an interesting subject, in others a mind-numbing subject, is somewhat less fun than I thought it'd be. It's redeeming factors are the really interesting lecturers and their topics. The downsides: constant assessment, boring lecturers, organisational psychology, writing really dry essays and sometimes my fellow students.

By fellow students I mean the ones who are... not as bright as I'm used to lets say. I don't mean to be awful or anything, but six years in a highschool with the elite of the state has left me with expectations of certain levels of intelligence... it just takes getting used to when people ask... dubious questions. But I've gotten used to it, so that's ok now.

Speaking of fellow students I've met some pretty interesting people this semester.

In psych, there's Dale, who does psych/ed, Drew and Jerry who also do Law/Psych/Stat171 with me, Kami, who does Psych/ed (and used to go to another selective school), and Chrissy, who's just doing psych.

In Law, besides all the people I know from highschool, I've met Sirrah (who also went to another selective school) and Timber, law/actuarial students (crazy people @.@), and Doormat.

From Stat, there's Drew No. 2, who's friends with a lot of people from my old highschool, Bert, who hangs out with a Sirrah and Timber, Al and Dan (who is dinosaur's cousin), Di, who's also a law/actuarial (but I've never seen her in lectures... so eh).

Then from various places, Dani, who I met through Cookies, Kram, who I met through the drama club, and Candlestick, who I met through salsa, MM (a magical magician... hehe) and Tofu (<^^) who I also met through salsa.

I don't think that I'm letting go of my old friends just because I meeting a lot of new ones. 4 odd years together tends to have the effect of gluing us together somewhat. I still hang out with the Awesome Team when we organise stuff.

Anyway... that's enough for now... that was quite a long blog for me @.@

Billy? You're driving your spork into your leg.

2009-06-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

Oh god. It's happening. Males are walking me to class again. This does not bode well. I don't like it. I want to walk alone and listen to my music, damn it. I do not want to try and make small talk with you.

27 hours until Dr. Horrible though. =]

I have to be a little more careful about what I say in this blog...

2009-05-31T03:16:00.000-07:00

Dr. Horrible - The Musical is on in 5 days! Unfortunately, so is my Law assignment.

Hello blog which has not seen the light of day in a while.

I find it incredibly amusing that out of my siblings, I am the only one who is not having love-problems.

Heh.

Feels good to be different for a change. It's very refreshing to not be obsessed with whoever happens to the the boy of my year.

So. Work. Onwards!

oh damn.

2009-04-30T00:27:00.001-07:00

That green tea cake that I bought actually turned out to be green bean cake/bread. It's kind of dry, the only moist part is the sweetened green beans. Also the sugar (not sure what kind it is) is the only other part of the cake/bread that is sweet =/ Not happy =[

Anyway, went home feeling kind of special. Then I realised I still have my essay due tomorrow =[

what am i doing blogging? :O

oh my world...

2009-04-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

we are not the only ones who have lost
we are not the only ones who have erred
yet we are blinded by our pain
which is greater than any other pain
by the virtue that we are the ones that feel it

reversion

2009-04-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

tumultuous seas are rising once more
the waters run red with the blood of our unborn children

futile are our struggles against all that is to come

there is no god
no otherworldly being to lift us out of the mire

we can only rely on our

failing

strength

This one's for you, so cut me a break

2009-04-24T05:26:00.001-07:00

I usually dislike AMV's but I like this one for some reason.

feels like insomnia

2009-04-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

Korean and English by the way

I've been a little hypocritical it seems. I say that I want to be around people who have emotional depth, and who aren't always at just one level all the time. Then when I'm faced with big displays of emotional, I can't cope with it.

when all you got to keep is strong move along...

2009-04-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

Man that guy is ugly. But this song is the song that helps me out the most when I'm feeling crap.

Um yeah.

So... apparently I'm a useless person to talk to when it concerns emotions, because as the cold hard bitch that I am, I don't feel emotions. Hence I don't understand them, and lack empathy. Which is why I'm not a doctor I suppose. And I'm on the way to hell (the path to hell is paved in gold, so I'm told).

er... 6 days to write this essay... and I'm procrastinating again... despite the fact that I'm trying to change. -_- *shakes head* I disappoint myself. *sigh*

The old me is dead and gone

2009-04-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm learning to look at emotional setbacks objectively, and to see failure as feedback on how to be successful in the future. I've promised myself that I will be kinder to myself, and that I will stop wasting my time.

I know that the transition from high-school to university is difficult, and it makes you vulnerable to feeling lonely and clingy, but I can always count on my old friends being there eventually, and I can make new friends.

I used to think that being in a relationship was the ultimate goal. Since I was 10 or so, I've found someone every year to be infatuated with. Now, I know that while being in a relationship is desirable, I don't need it. It can wait.

I'm smarter, older, a little bit wiser. I'm not lazy, and I can do anything if I want to. I think I'm a slightly different person to who I was last year.

ARGH beans...

2009-04-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

My mum brought a stack-load of snake beans home from the market this Saturday. Today I got to sort through them, then top and tail them. So many @.@

Listening to myself talk these days, I find that I sound really bitter. Now I'm not sure if I'm usually like this, of if it's just recently that I've become like this.

Cooking fail

2009-04-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I tried to cook, and it ended in disaster. I tried a recipe for curried oats: http://teaandcookies.blogspot.com/2009/03/caramelized-onions-at-breakfast.html

Now, usually when I cook, it turns out fine. Like edible. But usually, I follow the recipe exactly, even if I don't use high quality ingredients (home brand stuff IS fine, fyi)

Not so today. Instead of using curry powder, I used curry paste, and I used milk, because usually when I make curry I use coconut milk, and we didn't have any... so I thought I'd substitute.

BAD IDEA.

The result was something with the consistency of orange, warm, viscous vomit. I would have taken a photo... but it was just... pretty gross actually.

Let's just say I'm not straying from the recipe anytime soon again =/

I just died in your arms tonight...

2009-04-19T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hrrhhnnn... Well, on Saturday I went out again. I think I've been going out more often these hols, and I haven't actually done that much work... I've done a bit, but probably not enough.

Anyway, went out iceskating again, with Pichu, Layzorz, Xinger, aix, awesome dude, awesome dude's twin, pendragon, lief and spanker. Unfortunately Awesome dude hadn't skated in a while, so we spent most of the time helping him revise... and by that I mean we skated around him, and tried to antagonise him. heh, we're awesome friends.

Found out from Lief that Inkheart is a meh kind of movie, so I probably won't watch it. I was thinking of watching it, but it seems the be a run-of-the-mill fantasy, so maybe not. I figure since the main thing our group does these days is go out to watch movies, so I should sign up for the Cinebuzz thing soon. *nods*

After iceskating, we caught the bus to Blacktown to have lunch and play at the arcade. We met up with Layzorz, Pichu, Xinger and Lief who went there by car (Grr... I should have gotten my licence earlier T^T) at the food court, where everyone went off to buy lunch. Except for me (I brought a sandwich), and Xinger who brought... a bag of pikelets... LOLOLOLOL Very random. Seriously, the size of the servings from the Asian food place are massive. Only Layzorz and Pendragon could finish off everything.

Then off we went to the arcade. There was a crazy kid playing DDR using BOTH sides of the dance pad. That's right, all eight pads. He looked fully pro... but he probably needs to... get a life (general consensus). We spent most of the time winning tickets... Pichu turns out to be quite the little (literally xD) gambling addict. She kept throwing 20c into the machine that spews out tickets if you knock off some coins into the pit. In the end, we ended up with 291 tickets >_> I may have helped... I turn out to be quite good at the game where you shoot the teeth out of a horse's mouth. ^^"

We were going to get sticky photos, but Lief told me that the machine was broken, and only printed out 4 photos T.T We actually spent a lot of time bumming around *nods* We got a few prizes, a heart shaped stress ball, some miniature playing cards, a heart shaped slinky, a star shaped slinky, some mini erasers... novelty items that will probably never be used again... oh well =] twas fun

turns out that the 630 didn't run all the way back home so me and spanker had to catch the 611 to Barclay, then wait for the 610 to get back home. We had to wait for 40 minutes for the 610 T^T ah well, got to talk to him for a bit =]

When I got home, I came to the realization that when I'm hormonal, I jump to the randomest conclusions, and then react accordingly... which is I go completely batshit crazy. Man... sometimes I think it'd just be easier to go on the Pill and not have periods... Too much info? Yeah... probably. But yeah, it's a blog. I'll say whatever I want... and possibly regret it later... who knows?

LAN-ning

2009-04-17T04:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know lanning isn't technically a verb, but it might as well be. I went to Epping today to play Left for Dead at the Red and Blue internet cafe (next to the Gloria Jeans). It was pretty epic. Seriously, blowing the heads off of zombies is insanely fun. There's just something really awesome about hearing moaning zombies, computerised gun shots, the surprised cries of your team-mates (ahh... xerox... "uh... guys... a little help here =(" *lies squirming on the floor in pain*)

MWAHAHAHA

I think I'll learn how to play Starcraft next. Apparently, carriers are the best unit oO

After 2.5 hours of killing zombies, we went to lunch at some Asian place nearby. It was ok, serving sizes were quite good, but it was a little expensive.

Spanker had to go home for band practice, so we waited with him for a bit while he was waiting for the bus. While we were waiting, Spanker, awesome dude's twin, and morgan started beat-boxing. Yay! We probably looked like hoons.

Then we caught the train to Parra to go watch a movie. We split off into two groups, Pendragon, Awesome dude's twin, Morgan, Aix went off to watch Monsters vs Aliens, and me and awesome dude went to go watch The Boat that Rocked. Guess which movie rocked?

Lots of fun today. Although, I should probably get some work done soon =/

=D

2009-04-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

I figure if I don't eat, I don't have to puke it back up again.

WIN

No, but seriously, since the holidays started and I've been sitting on my ass doing a lot of reading (Damn you LAW114!! *shakes fist*), I've stopped compulsively eating in general.

I'm not starving myself. Seriously, I eat when I'm hungry.

But I only feel hungry like twice a day now. Sometime around 11am, and then at about 8pm.

I think it has something to do with my blood sugar levels. While I was at uni, I had too much sugar and caffeine, and just crashed at the end of the day.

Yeah.

oops...

2009-04-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

I may have destroyed half of my left eyebrow. Argh. I know you're only supposed to pluck away strays... but I may have gotten carried away. I suppose I could just draw it back on with pencil, like my mum does... but doesn't have to because she has tattooed eyebrows Oo Go mum, go. Woohoo.

So... I convinced ole padre to let me out on Saturday. Woohoo! Or not... because clubbing could be less fun than everyone makes it out to be, or possibly because there's another two parties happening at the same place at the same time... and that Barney (henceforth Barney-wannabe), will probably be there (thank you Facebook). That puts me in a somewhat awkward position.

Speaking of awkward positions...

Clubbing

2009-04-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

Morgan's birthday party is on this Saturday. He plans for us to meet up at his house at 4.30, where we'll catch the bus to the city, and go K till 10. Then we'll go clubbing till 2am, then catch the bus to his house and sleepover. The following day will be a house party from 12 pm, dinner at Towers, then back to his house until late.

Now I want to go clubbing. Mainly because I haven't before.

Obstacles to this are my parents.

My parents arguments against:
1) It's too late at night
2) the environment/scene is bad
3) drunk people in the city at night are 'bad'
4) sleeping over at a male's house is bad
5) I might have sex with someone/do something that violates their morals, etc.

Arguments for:
1) I have money
2) + clothes
3) + transport there and back
4) the friends that I'm going with have already been introduced to parents
5) I will not drink too much (drinks are expensive >=[)
6) I will not wear provocative clothing
7) and we will be travelling in a group
8) there will be two other girls going
9) I really want to go
10) it's on saturday, and easter break, so I don't have work/study
11) I have driving lessons the next day, so I can't drink that much

My arguments against clubbing so that I won't feel bad if they vehemently say no, despite me trying to reason with them:
1) I have to spend money
2) I could be assaulted by a really slimy guy
3) I might have to look after drunk friends
4) I could wait until I'm older (when my parents are more used to me going out, and I'm not just fresh into uni)
5) I might get bored
6) heels are annoying

...

I can't win this can I.

>=(

Perfume makes me happy

2009-04-05T04:46:00.000-07:00

And I am feeling so very distressed right now.

Dream Fighter Pv

their newest vid i think. it's very cute.

Love the world: one of their biggest hits

Secret secret: I actually learnt this dance... ^~^

And now that our internet has been upgraded I can watch as many youtube vids as I want. yay!

Sunday Stealing: Blogs

2009-04-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

got this from http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/ yes for pirating memes. yarr

1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?
"Polyrhythm" is the name of an electropop hit by the Japanese trio "Perfume". It is the simultaneous sounding of two or more independent rhythms. So in this case it's kind of a metaphor.

2. What are your general goals for blogging?
To express myself, sometimes in ways I don't in actual life.

3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?
How often do you post (x per week)?
That I know of, two people that I know read my blog, and one that I don't know in real life. and then the anonymous people who drop by via google, thanks to my really odd blog titles. The number of blog posts per week vary. somewhere between 1-3 i guess

4. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?
a lot. google reader tells me that it's 23 today, so maybe 20-60 a week?

5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)
I like blogs that reveal how people are feeling or thinking, then interesting topics, then funny topics.

6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?
I think I'll just leave them on the internet for my kids/nieces/nephews/grandkids to find someday. If the internet crashes then oh well.

7. What are the things you like best about blogging?
I can express myself in words, and I have time to think about what I'm saying. Then I get to edit that ^__^

8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?
The blogs I've written in the past. They're just pretty emo in general, and embarassing.

9. How do you handle comments?
Reply, once I come up with something to say. If not, I just leave it until I do.

10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?
Narrrgggghh

11. Any desired blog features?
Not that I can think of at the moment

12. Have you suffered blog addiction?
A what now? I think my addiction usually fall under the category of procrastination... so not exactly blog addiction... maybe.

Hey, it's ok to lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings right?

2009-03-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to see 1.5 spot, because I can't be bothered. Sure I feel guilty about declining one of the parts, and sure I feel guilty that I'm not more involved in the club. That doesn't make me anymore inclined to make plans to go see it. So I'm going to lie and say that I was busy. It's not so bad, because I don't know the people in the drama club that well.

And also, one of my new psych buddies at uni is having relationship problems. It wasn't my place to ask, but I did. And there's so many problems I don't even know where to begin to help her out.

I figure she's a girl, so she'll be needed some kind of emotional reassurance. She wants someone to tell her it'll all be ok, and that it will all work out. So I did.

I lied. Most highschool relationships don't survive the transition to uni. This also includes friendships. Most long-distance relationships don't work out. Most people realise that they don't actually know their partner that well after the initial flood of hormones goes away.

Statistically, her relationship is destined to fail. I could work out the probability of it happening.

Friendships don't really last into uni either. It's either a success (π) or fail (1-π). The success rate is approximately 2/15. The Bernoulli distribution indicates that in general, there's a right skew, i.e. you lose most of your friends. I actually punched this into Excel, and that's what I got.

It's kind of sad really.

We tell each other lies everyday. It gives us hope and happiness. Without happiness we are depressed. Without either happiness nor hope, we are suicidal. Hence we tell each other lies to keep each other alive.

But hey, that's ok. Because in the long run, surviving is all that matters.

Too soon?

2009-03-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

I was going to post about Law and Morality (don't grumble Cookies, Jurisprudence is good for you), but I've gottten stuck at some point and can't think of anything else cohesive to put into the article. So that's been sidelined until I can think of something smart to say.

Until then I'll leave you with this joke:

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Yes. I'm an awful person. But at least I'm not a spoilt brat.

.

2009-03-16T23:33:00.001-07:00

Wordpress sucks.

Easter, Oestre and Hōnen Matsuri

2009-03-15T19:51:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again.

Every shoppping centre you visit is decked out with Cadbury Bunnies and eggs.

In Christian terms, Easter. In pagan terms, Oestre. In Japanese terms Hōnen Matsuri. Yep, it's harvest time, and everything fertility or birth related time as well.

I suppose the Oestre festivals and the harvest festivals were historically first. Human kind seems to have an affinity with celebrating with rituals and large groups.

In Japan, the Hōnen Matsuri is the celebration of a bountiful harvest, prosperity and fertility. Its most famous symbol is the large wooden phallus that is paraded from shrine to shrine. While this is highly amusing to foreigners, it is a sacred event for the Japanese.

The bunny (or a hare) and the egg were originally pagan in nature. Rabbits breed very quickly, and eggs represent birth, so it makes sense that these are symbols that, to this day, represent fertility and birth. These were once offered to the goddess of fertility, who has been called a variety names, one of which has been Anglicised to Easter.

So there we have two festivals/tributes to the harvest/fertility.

Where does the Christian Easter come from? Historically, it's very vague about the actual date that Jesus was crucified and resurrected. (It's also very vague about the date that Jesus was born.) It's very convenient that many of the Christian festivals fall on or near dates of the equinoxes and solstices. As for Easter, it's VERY convenient that the death and rebirth of Jesus is represented through ancient symbols of birth an fertility. Which has been pointed out before. In fact, a lot of pagan rituals have carried over to Christianity, as it's been stated, to allow for an easier transition of religion for the pagans in the countries where Christianity originally flourished (The Roman Empire I think).

So why make the bunnies and eggs out of chocolate then? Chocolate was imported from the Americas, and was once described as one of the Devil's temptations. Hilarious that it's now a major symbol for many of the countries that celebrate Easter.

Can't really think of a conclusion, just thought I'd bring up some observations I'd found interesting. Happy Easter!

A series of increasingly uncomfortable conversations.

2009-03-15T00:09:00.000-07:00

A topic that comes up surprisingly often these days between my parents and I, unfortunately, is sex. I think the reason this topic is coming up so often is because
1) I'm in uni with a variety of people, instead of your standard Asian nerds.
2) I can drink alcohol
3) I go out a lot more where they can't monitor my behaviour
And hence they panic and freak out.

It's extraordinarily awkward to talk about *certain* things with your parents. I'd come up with some kind of metaphor or analogy, but the truth is I cannot think of anything more awkward than that.

The hard and fast line they are trying to put across is "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE". That also includes anything beyond hugging and, the recently conceded, kissing. My dad in particular wants me to stay as pure as the driven snow until I get married, and my mum wants me to stay "innocent" and I would stay that way if I steered clear of carnal knowledge.

Why?

Well, there are a multitude of reasons I suppose.

For example, according to the major religions of the world, there are reasons for abstinence.

Christianity forbids premarital sex. Some strands of Judeo-Christian religions also frown upon affection between married couples. I haven't read enough of the bible to explain this uet, but I'm fairly certain that's the case.

In Buddhism, one of the precepts, that is the behavioural guides for righteous living, is not to indulge in physical excess. This I do know the reason for. The causes of suffering, according to Buddhism, is desire for things that are physical, or tangible. This desire ties us to the world, hence be freed of this existence, and will be reborn again into the cycle of suffering.

According to the law, sex between consenting heterosexuals over the age of 16 is legal, sex between consenting homosexuals over the age of 18 is legal, sex between a 15 year old and a 18 year old is illegal, sex between two 16 year old males is illegal and all sorts of other fun things. Law, as I've been learning in Law, is not necessarily tied to morals.

Socially, it is less acceptable for a woman to have multiple sexual partners than a man. I think this stems from this society being somewhat religious.

Biologically speaking (again), sex stimulates chemicals that screw up with rational thought processes. I like thinking. I like having control. Anything that would prevent me from thinking clearly and depriving me of what little control I have over my life's situation surely would be detrimental.

So there's a wide range of reasons for why I shouldn't have sex.

Now, as far as I've heard, sex is a pleasurable experience. Explained on a technical level it seems a little messy. Biologically it used to be necessary for this to occur in order for reproduction to occur. But with the introduction of contraception, abortion, IVF etc, this is not necessarily the case.

Humans all experience desire at some stage, unless there is something neurologically wrong with them. Now this is just in general, as the word desire encompasses many facets.

As far as I'm concerned, sex is a base kind of pleasure. It is a purely physical sensation. However, as human beings, we ARE physical beings, despite having opposable thumbs and a brain, and all the kerfuffle raised over the years how Homo Sapiens are somehow separate to animals. Hence, if we are entitled to pleasures such as reading, writing, music, art etc, we should also be entitled to the most controversial physical pleasures as well.

I don't intend on getting married. And if I do get married, it will not follow the conventions of a typical marriage according to either religious norms nor shall it follow the norms my parents propose. Hence, it will be regarded as an invalid "marriage" by both society and my parents.

From this, it follows that I will never have sexual relations with anyone.

Now this is something I intensely disagree with.

I feel as though the only thing preventing me from choosing how to live my life is fear of some sanction, whether it is from a religious, social or moral power. Hence, this unnamed power is preventing me from having some form of control over my life, and this is the collar that chafes at my neck.

The problem with my parents just telling me to not have sex is that the reasons they give for it are a little arbitary. Most of the reasons I've listed here I've had to come up with for myself.

In the end, I've decided on a set of guidelines for my own behaviour, that is not quite in accordance to the values my parents and parts of my society espouse. I just hope that there aren't too many negative consequences from that, and if there are consequences I hope I can deal with them.

YARRRRR.

It's plain to see the evil inside of me is on the rise...

2009-03-07T20:18:00.000-08:00

Hmm... turned down a part in a play because it clashes with Animania... which I've already paid for... and even though I know Animania won't be all that awesome, I'd rather spend a day with my highschool friends than with people I barely know at uni... so sue me. Plus it clashes with M's birthday... and the director is scary... and the play is kind of cliched (but awesome) and the afterparty would have been fun too... but >_> doesn't matter la.

Hopefully I'll get into the Dr Horrible musical though. I watched that yesterday, and it is totally legen... wait for it.... dary! Legendary! Neil Patrick Harris is an amazing singer and actor. I bet he breaks hearts everytime people find out he's gay. *crosses fingers*

I haven't done anything so evil recently... but I still have foot in mouth disease -_- it's not so bad if I don't talk.... or drink... or have caffeine... stupid drugs....

Polyrhythm

40 hour famine

Personal thoughts on the label "slut"

You gotta run as fast as you can to stay in the same place.

So I over-reacted

I'll end up helping her because it's right, but I won't like it

Well... shit

Capstone Blog Post

it's that time again

new phone!

birthday dinner

Ness' guide to team work with Ness.

This is why lawyers can't have nice things.

tired mumblings

The cove

the last two months of stuff

the difference between

i think too much

I am such a girl.

Hell week is over.

What inspires you creatively?

fuck this shit i'm going to hogwarts

Do we all see the same colours?

90's dance s2

*tear*

Pants = Love

Student Politics

o//////////////o

Never

So. Fricking. High.

Match made in heaven

Something important?

Describe the most beautiful dream you've had...

Favourite pokemon?

Would you rather solve global warming or solve poverty?

formspring.me

Tell me

urgh

*mind blown*

It's been ten days, without you in my reach.

I don't even speak korean!

No one would pay for these thoughts

Dirty little secrets

Okay, I'm not that stupid.

Quick recap of holidays

High Heels: The Modern Day Equivalent of Foot Binding.

Yay! New Kicks

Do I have secrets?

Days of the week

More relationship advice

Cosmic Irony...

A number is a funny thing.

Influential Halfies of my Life

O-week shenanigans

I was right... i guess

I'd rather put my hand in hot glue.

Mentoring!

Passive aggressive teaching methods

*awkward silence*

Whacked out happenings

I am a pervert.

Australian Internet Censorship: The New Ingsoc.

Fan-fucking-tastic

conflict of interest

my mum is awesome

p.p.s

diving into my own destruction

Reasons why fridays are awesome, and weekends are not

Blame Tara

Favourite postsecrets

The Alpha Meme

Leave it to Meme: Hehe

Jello shots!

The heretic meme

Supanova

Finish the sentence meme

The sun is high, all the birds are singing...

Billy? You're driving your spork into your leg.

I have to be a little more careful about what I say in this blog...

oh damn.

tear

mind blown

awkward silence