Monday 10 November 2008

Family, friends and f***ing deadlines.

Right. So all the yearbook stuff is due this Tuesday or Wednesday, according to Charizard, who I incidentally met at the Macquarie shopping centre today, looking for a dress. One of the editors, let's just call her Crackers, asked me to do a group page for our biology class. I said yes, knowing full well that I had to go buy my dress for the formal, take my visiting family out on Sunday AND Monday. I don't know why I said yes. God damnit why didn't she ask me LAST week when I wasn't so busy that I had to cancel an event I've planned since ages ago. I HATE cancelling events.

Yes. I is angry.

Stupid Crackers.

Although, the animosity I'm directing towards her really is unjustified. And possibly hypocrital. I distinctly remember telling my mother that she should hold grudges against people because being angry at someone for a long time is like holding a hot coal with the intention to hurt someone else for a long time, but you just end up hurting yourself. I think the Buddha said something along those lines.

So I should probably stop hating her for no reason. Considering I don't like Wothisface anymore, and she's gotten back together with her boyfriend. I guess I wasn't strong enough to think about Wothisface's well-being instead of being pointlessly jealous. Hopefully I'll learn. Considering I keep saying that I think monogamy is horrible and pointless, I shouldn't really feel jealous about this kind of thing. Parental and societal conditioning is rather difficult to break. -_-

Wow, this blogging stuff really works.

There was supposed to be a coherent thread to this blog, but I've kind of lost it =/

My cousin (The perfect one. because she's tall, skinny and intelligent. and also because she does chores without being asked, and doesn't talk back to her mother. LIKE A GOOD DAUGHTER SHOULD! I love her, seriously, but I feel rather inferior when I'm around her. And that's something, considering my inflated ego =/), her boyfriend Scooby, and her brother The Dancer all arrived in Sydney on Sunday. My father and I took them out to the city today to sightsee. We drove to Milsons Point to take photos of the Harbour Bridge, the Opera House from across the Harbour, and Luna Park. Scooby and the Dancer had some fun playing with forced perspectives =D

Then we drove around to Chinatown to have lunch. According to The Dancer, the standard for testing a new bubble tea place is to try their Taro milk tea. If it's smooth, creamy and is just sweet enough, the rest of their teas must be good as well. I should test this out. It gives me an excuse to have bubble tea xD

We went to Tumbalong Park after lunch. It's been ages since I've been there. I'm surprised at how much I've grown since in four years, because everything is so much smaller than I remember =S I used to love going there to play in the park with my brothers. Now all that they're interested in is Warcraft. =( I really hate that game sometimes.

We did a lot of walking, mostly around the shopping mall at the Harbour, and around Market City. We didn't actually buy anything Oo Except for food. Which I'm trying not to eat, because I've realized when I put on my formal dress, you can see my stomach.

Don't get me wrong. I usually love the way I look. I know that as a young woman, I'm probably as perfect and as beautiful as I will ever be. And that as I grow older, it can only go downhill from there. It's just recently, I've been panicking because I'm adhering to other people's standards of beauty. Namely my mother's.

Which somehow leads me to the topics of eating disorders. I think I used to have bulimia. I remember that at some stage I used to overeat, and then run off to the bathroom to regurgitate. I used to feel a lot better afterwards, because I didn't have that horrible bloated feeling. My brother did it too. So I checked with the doctor, and it was acid reflux. But I do remember running off to the loo to regurgitate even when I hadn't eaten much.

I know some people throw up their food because it gives them a sense of control over something in their life. I actually find that eating normal meals in smaller portions several times throughout the day helps me to keep my food down. And in that way, it gives me more control than if I wantonly overeat, and puke it all up again.

That's a disturbing topic. =/ Let's move on.

Instead of going to Cookies' "Fighting Dreamers" photoshoot at school today, I went out with my cousins. Yay. =/ Oh well, I'll see everyone on Thursday, and we'll all be dressed up nicely, and we'll take a stack of photos then. And we won't sleep, we'll just dance and talk all night. I'm looking forward to that.

I'm also looking forward to turning eighteen, because my cousins are going to take me out clubbing for the first time. This is why I love my cousins, they provide for me like siblings would. And they're a good moderating force for my parents. (they went to the Chris Brown and Rihanna concert in New Zealand. Apparently, Rihanna was like "Hello Auckland! *crickets chirp* Auckland sucks! LOL epic phail, Anyway, maybe they'll be able to convince my parents that concerts AREN'T a waste of money, or dangerous.) So yay! Clubbing, and insane doses of Berocca (not so much the alcohol, I don't want to embarass myself... the last time I drank, I almost immediately regurgitated it back out again @.@ I don't handle drugs well, unlike The Dancer... because he's a pharmacist xD get it? Oh I'm a funny one... not)

2 comments:

Unknown said...

The aliases you use for people are fascinating. They make sense though.

As for the photoshoot... ah...read my blog later, when I post about it^^ *falls asleep*
I can feel my eyelids sticking together ><
Well, there'll always be other photoshoots. Calm down. *passes hawflakes* --> these shouldn't make you fat ^^
Anyways, see you on Thursday

gnataes said...

Yes, I try not to be too obvious. It's a lot of fun coming up with aliases actually ^^ Was it really that tiring? who came? actually, I'll read it in your blog. Yay! thursday ^^