Monday 1 December 2008

My dysfunctional family (and why I love them)

My family can be pretty screwed up sometimes.

Take for example my father. One of my earliest memories involving my father is being taught that "if someone makes you angry, stick your middle finger up at them." (Funny story actually, apparently I did that to an adult at my kingergarten place and got smacked over the head for it. Not that I remember xD) He swears a lot, although recently, I've noticed that this has been curbed a little. He has two addictions (again, trying to cut back), one addiction which I've learned to live with, and gambling. Gambling is not cool. He's short tempered (literally. He'll blow his lid, and then be back to normal in the space of half an hour), and thinks he's good at everything.

My mother can be a little naive sometimes, and doesn't understand half of the things I say to her (not her fault, I speak quite quickly and incoherently that the only people who've learned to understand me are Cookies, Spud and Lief.) She is a bit over-protective and old fashioned (which is why when we have 'discussions' about morals, ethics, money or whatever, we usually end up fighting =/). She is extraordinarily conscious about MY weight. And boy can she hold a grudge.

Combined, my parents are racist and disrespectful of privacy. By that I mean they're quite judgemental when it comes to people of different races. They even have issues against the various categories of Chinese, such as people from Hong Kong and Shanghai. The privacy thing is they don't keep secrets. Ie when I tell one parent something, they tell the other one even though they've been told not to. They berate me when I show any kind of emotion aside from happiness or tiredness (ie sadness and anger).

My brothers are gamers, and one of their major vices is Warcraft. I hate Warcraft, mainly because it turns whoever is playing the blasted game into an unresponsive zombie. I also dislike people who discuss Warcraft as if it were a team sport. Warcraft is not cool.

So those are the bad points I think my family has.

When I say my dad thinks he's good at everything, that's because he is. He is literally a Jack of all trades and Master of several. He tells stories well, and is a good communicator. He's also good at analysing his mistakes, and frequently passes on (sometimes useless) advice to other people. He's funny (it's hereditary xD), kind, generous, righteous, strong and practical. He is good with kids (seriously. If you see him with a baby, he literally turns to mush). He's pretty intelligent, and can speak 3 dialects of Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese as well as your bog standard English.

My mother, although she doesn't understand my pseudo-philosophical blatherings (then again, who does?), is still quite intelligent. She didn't go to school due to a certain evil despot (I'm talking about Pol Pot here. He was a bastard.), so she has issues with spelling and vocabulary (and still thinks in Chinese). But she has pulled herself through an Accounting course at TAFE, a First Aid Certificate course, and is currently training to become an aged care worker. She is also kind, generous and righteous.

My brothers are awesome (when they're not playing warcraft). We got each other's backs. They can play guitar (better than me, though it irks me to say so). Makes for some fun jamming time. They are funny (told you it was hereditary), and smart. The elder is more emotionally understanding, while the younger is more philosophically astute.

It's easier to find good stuff about your family when you love and trust them, and they love and trust you back. So yeah, my family is pretty awesome. I feel sad whenever I hear about people who either don't have families, or feel alienated by their families (like Lief and Son of Aeson.) Then again, I'm in a good mood and I'm usually optimistic when I'm content, so it's easy to spot the good points. =]

2 comments:

Crushed said...

Families are fuunny things.

I'm not overly close to mine, but I have a self made family, kind of.

I find the fact my parents are quite racist hard to deal with- especially since I prefer- girls from other ethic groups. We can get on as long as race doesn't rear its head.

I think a big problem for parents is getting their head round the fact that you're their equal now. They may have changed your nappy once, but those days are long gone.

gnataes said...

I know that some families are more like people you share a house with, who constantly annoy you, and you're only sharing space with them until you turn 18 and can get out. My friend Lief describes his family as "people who expect me to be obligated to them because they've fed and housed me for the last 9 years" =/

I believe that friends can be family too. I find I can tell my friends things that I refuse to tell my parents, either because they won't/can't understand, or because their morals conflict with mine.

However, my parents have an uncanny ability to learn by observation, and thus somehow know things about me that I haven't figured out yet. Apparently I jump to conclusions -_- I guess I'm lucky that I have two main groups in my life, because I feel both my parents and siblings have earned my respect and trust.

I dislike how my parents are racist as well. They're not openly racist, but they'll speak about it at home. I just think it's wrong to judge people based on their race.

I think my mother is coming to grasp that we're equal. When I don't tell her things, she wonders why I don't treat her like a friend. Then, when I joke around with her and use sarcasm she gets annoyed and say "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother, and you will act accordingly." except not so wordily.

I don't plan to move out until I make enough money to live by myself, so I'm stuck with following my parents' rules. So in their eyes, I'm still a baby ><