9th wedding in the family

So my cousin Londonette is finally getting married. She has found a nice strapping English lad who works in the entertainment industry (as a DJ, a promoter and a bouncer), who's quite tall, well built, bald, and a good chess player. Let's call him Kasparov.

Londonette and Kasparov are getting married sometime in August in Thailand. Now my parents are refusing to attend said wedding. I asked if it was because it was Thailand and that it was kind of like they were eloping.

Actually, they're refusing to go because she ran off to London for five years, and because she's marrying a guy who's English like Stephen K. Amos is English. Except he's not gay. Or a comedian.

Yeah.

Wrap your head around that.

I think the next boy I bring home will be a pinoi.

Grah?

The pros and cons of moving out.

Pros:

1) Freedom
2) Independence
3) Learning life skills
4) I don't have to follow my parents rules
5) My father wants me out of the house because I don't want to follow said rules

Cons
1) Money
2) I will miss my brothers
3) I haven't even started looking for a place to live
4) I don't know how to drive, and would therefore spend even more money travelling on public transport
5) I'd have to get better paid work

Right. Now that my father has officially asked me to pack my bags and leave home, I shall set about researching a place to live. I don't think he actually means it, but I will take it as an invitation to leave. Wish me luck.

WTF is Christmas.

So apparently, it's Jesus' birthday. Jesus is a pretty cool guy, you know what with the turning water into wine, walking on said water, raising the dead, healing the sick, coming back from the dead amd what not. So yeah, Christmas is a pretty important day right? It's understandable to celebrate His birth yeah?

Unfortunately, for someone who doesn't particularly believe in a god, Christmas doesn't really have a meaning, aside from the fact that I get a free holiday where people all around me throw parties that either I'm not invited to, or that I am invited to, but to which I can't go.

Christmas makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm supposed to get presents for people, based on some tradition based off of a person that may or may not exist. Then I receive gifts that I'm supposed to like. Then I'm supposed to be happy about the fact that I'm celebrating some dead guy's birthday, without the help of alcohol, because alcohol gives me an allergic reaction.

Then I get messages from people wishing me a Merry Christmas, who normally wouldn't give a shit about me on any other day. Then I'm supposed to turn right back and wish them a happy holiday, and pretend to give a shit about them too.

Seems extremely pointless. Maybe other atheists feel like this too. Which is why it's probably tempting for them to join a church so they can join in the community spirit around Christmas time. But that pretty much makes them hypocrites.

Maybe religion acts as a kind of buffer to life's disappointments. Had a shit life? God planned it that way to make you the person you are. Someone you love died? God wanted his lamb back. Got a crap UAI? God planned that too. All those hours you spend playing DOTA had absolutely nothing to do with that. Predestination. You can take comfort in the fact that someone bigger than you is guiding your life while you yourself have no fucking idea why you live on this shithole called earth, why every day inflicts some kind of suffering upon you, and why you still push on despite said shittiness.

I guess believing in a god gives you someone to talk to when you're lonely and in need of solace. I mean, He's always listening, and as a plus He loves you unconditionally right?

It's kind of funny how some of my Christian friends believe in both Predestination and Free will. Because if you think about it, converting to Christianity requires Free will right? God created man with Free will. However, everything is predestined, so you converting to Christianity was already planned. But this negates the whole Free will thing.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to imply is that some people convert to Christianity because they feel cold and alone on Christmas, and they want to feel like they belong somewhere. That may or may not be a bad thing.

I myself do not feel cold or alone enough to want to do that. But it is tempting. But, surprisingly, I do have my morals, and I try not to do hypocritical things. But I do feel pretty crap right now.

Christmas Eve and Christmas happy haps.

So yesterday Glamaling had a Christmas party that I was invited to, but to which I chose not to attend, for a few reasons:
1) I didn't want to go
2) I was working
3) My camera was broken
4) I had already been out on Saturday, Sunday and Monday of this week, and I didn't want to push it with my parents.
5) My parents probably wouldn't let me go, so I told my self I didn't want to go to prevent disappointment.

So instead, I went to work, then came home. I was going to go rockclimbing with my family, but it turns out the place closed at 5, and we got there at 4:30 =S So instead of going rockclimbing, I stayed at home and made kimchi with turnip, which is a new experience. It was just as fun as rockclimbing. Mmm... I can't wait until Saturday, because it'll be ready by then.

So... today is Christmas. I could have been sending off texts to everyone on my mobile phone, or sending off emails, or facebook-wall posting wishing people "merry xmas" but I couldn't be assed. It's a holiday, and I'm not making more work for myself. I have done three constructive things today:
1) Made mango pudding
2) Cleaned my room
3) Made a slideshow of photos

I have done little else but eat, sleep and play guitar.

Yay for holidays.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, have a wonderful yuletide, or midwinter solstice, yada yada. I don't really believe in any of these, but it gives me a free excuse to not do anything. Mmm laziness...

Christmas Eve and Christmas happy haps.

Elitist rant

The Daily Telegraph reporting on the success of public schools reads: "... Hannah Wilson topped the state in senior science, beating competitors from private and public selective schools."

LOL! Whatever. As if our selective schools would let their students take Senior Science. Most of our students take the REAL sciences, like Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. And not General Maths either, (How can you even call that maths? It's like grape juice pretending to be wine.) but Advanced, Extension 1 and Extension 2.

I guess the main point the article was trying to make was that public highschools are becoming a force to be reckoned with academically, whether they are comprehensive or selective. 8 out of the 10 top schools in NSW are Public Selective Schools. Unfortunately, the highest rank a comprehensive high school holds is 56, every school ranked above that are either Selective or Private.

The great thing about selective schools is that if you work smart, or hard (depends on the situation), you should get the results you deserve. It's not about how much money the government or your parents are throwing at the school.

There is a debate on whether or not Selective schools should be discontinued. People have said that Selective schools place great pressure on students to perform well, and that they produce students that are awkward in social situations and only academically focused.

Well, sure there is pressure to perform, but selective schools can also provide a supportive environment as well. Selective schools provide a protective shell for students of an academic nature. Where else can you find students making lame Chem jokes and getting people who actually understand and appreciate the joke? Where else can you find groups of people who appreciate anime and manga as an art form, without being picked on, or ostracised, for it?

As for the lack of social skills, many students are able to get jobs, where we pick up the necessary skills to deal with a variety pf people. Many of our students go into Medicine, where competitive interview skills are required for admission. We have extra-curricular activities that foster teamwork and leadership while being extraordinarily fun.

Overall, I think the results speak for themselves. 18 out of the top 30 of the state are Selective schools. Good education that is low cost makes everybody happy.

With brown cocoa skin and curly black hair

So I've now watched both the Priscilla queen of the desert stage production, and the film. I must say that the musical was much more fun, and less disturbing than the film. It was quite a lot of fun forcing Pendragon to watch it xD he's publicly homophobic, but we all know he loves it. Heh.

we'll show the world we can dance

I am mildly annoyed right now. My camera is dying... and there's not a lot I can do about it. I don't have enough money to buy a new one right now. Gah. my poor bro, took photos and video at his formal, and it's gone. ALL GONE!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, he's pretty devastated. so devastated he smacked the camera twice... and now the camera will probably die fairly shortly. *cries*

On the bright side of life

1) I've apologised to Wotshisface for being a bitch, and he's accepted. yay! no hard feelings there.
2) I'm allowed out! yay! apparently my dad's two hour lecture wasn't exactly about banning me from going out. It was about how I should actually think before I say stuff... especially if it's hurtful to my mum. >< sorry mum. sorry dad. I've struck a deal, that I can go to all the stuff that's happening before new years, and after that I have to limit my going out to once a week. seems pretty fair to me =)

Now back to mourning the death of my camera. NOOOO!!!! DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!

Dream catch me if I fall...

So... I don't like Wotshisface anymore... and I don't like Barney Stinson that much... which means right at this moment, I am infatuation free! Yay! Or not yay... I don't know. Without someone to moon over, I am free to think about whatever I want. But then I actually have to come up with things to think about. Isn't that what freedom is? Not needing to rely on other people to make you happy?

Now if only I could go out.

Blast.

100 things

I'm feeling too lazy to make an actual post. So here is a meme instead.

Stuff I've done is bolded.

1. Started your own blog
Yes. Several. They’re like dirty socks
2. Slept under the stars
That is, I’ve been camping, so I have technically slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
Again, technically yes… if you call a bunch of people who perform together on a regular basis as a band.
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo

Not on stage… at least I don’t think I have Oo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables

I grew beans once.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
Course I have
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
Yep. Just didn’t want to stay at school.
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
Yep… well We saw the crest… that counts =/
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

Not quite… I’ve been to Cambodia and Thailand, but I haven’t been to China yet
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

I’m pretty content with what I have
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
Yep, on several occasions
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke

Are you kidding? I love karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

Surprisingly, no =O I’ve walked on the beach at dusk though…
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain

What kind of hopeless romantic would I be if I hadn’t
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie

Short films count xD
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

21/100... That's pretty awful actually...

they taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies

I miss Spud. I wish I could talk to her. Now that I can't talk at Lief, Spud is the only one who I can talk at comfortably. Of course I talk to various people, but there is a subtle difference between talking to and talking at. Anyway... I'm just rambling.

According to my parents, because I'm over 18 now, I should behave, talk and think more like an adult. I should be more responsible for the happenings of the household, and over aspects of my life. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to have the privileges of being 18. I'm not allowed to drink when I go out and I'm not even allowed to go out anymore. I have a job, but the money I earn there is to be locked away so that I can buy textbooks for university, and so I can tutor students. I have to ask permission everytime I want to step out of the house.

So. I'm expected to act like an adult, but I'm still being treated as a child. It would be insufficient to say I am mildly annoyed.

Random thoughts accumulated from the past few days

1) Lief needs help. He probably has stopped taking his antidepressants.
2) I can't trust M. I still love her, and have fun with her, but I can't trust her anymore.
3) Most of my friends are unreliable.
4) I'm not replying back to letters due to sheer laziness... and I don't care anymore.
5) BarneyStinson is pretty awesome.
6) I don't want to be open with people anymore. I used to tell everyone various things, and now I don't want to tell anyone anything.
7) I want to make more music.
8) My family can't act as my confidant.
9) I can't stand to talk to Lief anymore. He saps my strength.
10) I'm losing Lief. But maybe I should be letting go anyway.
11) I have no one to talk to about this.
12)

Jamming

I went over to Wren's house today for a jamming session. Wren, M, Cyan, Barney Stinson, Ania, and myself made sweet, sweet music =D It was really fun. We'd talk randomly, and then broke into song for 2o minutes. I remember doing Viva La Vida - Coldplay, Everything - Lifehouse, Runaway - The Corrs, Four chord song tribute, Don't say you love me - M2M, Beautiful - Pete Murray, Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys, The Tetris theme, The Final fantasy fight scene theme, simple and clean - Utada Hikaru, Semi-Charmed Life - Third eye Blind, Love song - Amiel, Don't panic - Coldplay, Misery Business - Paramore, and a lot of random stuff... Music makes me so happy. Even if I'm in a really bad mood, singing or listening to music will generally make me feel better. =]

Ethics - OR - How I completely smacked that interview in the face

All that reading on ethics (I think I spent 6 hours or so on that alone) came in handy afterall. There were a lot of ethical reasoning/dilemma stations today, or stations which required reasonable thought that stemmed from ethical reasoning.

Unfortunately when it came to stations that were supposed to be nice ones, I choked. "Why do you want to be a doctor?" Well I'm interested in human behaviour and their actions, especially when things go wrong. I'm a problem solver, so fixing problems is what I want to do for the rest of my life. "Any other reasons?" ... Is that not a good enough reason? Um... to... save... lives? To... help... people... and stuff... *mumble mumble* WTF Are you telling me that my reason for becoming a doctor isn't good enough for you? Well you can go to "Your time is up for this station. Please exit the room and wait outside the door of your next station. Thank you."

*phew*

Another "nice" one. You had to pick out of a choice of 4 emotions, the emotion that best represented that in the eyes of the picture given. I had already done this question in this quiz: ==> http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/index_cookie.shtml. But there were 36 of them to do in 7 minutes and it took too long >< damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn

And then another one where I had to deal with a crying patient.

I slammed the rest of the staions though. Take that!

I feel really drained right now.

Ethics - OR- Why I shouldn't become a doctor.

So. My interview that partially determines whether or not I will be accepted into the Med course at UWS is tomorrow. Instead of researching how the Australian healthcare system works, the course requirements etc, I am sitting here blogging. Maybe it's because I'm not wholehearted sure I want to become a doctor. I know that if I want something desperately enough I will get it. I usually get what I want (more on that later).

I know that I've wanted to become either a psychologist or a psychiatrist for a long time. Probably since Lief walked into my life actually. I find people, their behaviour, their habits, their ways of thinking very interesting, and I'd like to work in a career where I can learn something I'm interested in.

I've been looking at the questions that I may be asked tomorrow. For example:

Dr Cheung recommends homeopathic medicines to
his patients. There is no scientific evidence or
widely accepted theory to suggest that homeopathic
medicines work, and Dr Cheung doesn’t believe
them to. He recommends homeopathic medicine
to people with mild and non-specific symptoms
such as fatigue, headaches and muscle aches,
because he believes that it will do no harm, but will
give them reassurance.

Consider the ethical problems that Dr Cheung’s
behaviour might pose. Discuss these issues with the
interviewer.

The above was taken from:
Kevin W Eva, Jack Rosenfeld, Harold I Reiter, Geoffrey R Norman (2004)
An admissions OSCE: the multiple mini-interview
Medical Education 38 (3), 314–326.

Well, ethically speaking, it's wrong to lie. Experimenting with a placebo on a patient without consent is unethical. If he wanted to reassure the patient, then he should consult with the patient about how the homeopathic remedy hasn't been scientifically proven, but it's an alternative to Western medicine.

Those are the answers given by a few prospective medical students.

I looked at the question, and couldn't find the dilemma.

I think I may be trouble. My ethics are questionable at best. Given a choice between letting a group of innocents die, and a letting one innocent die, I would usually choose one innocent

My dysfunctional family (and why I love them)

My family can be pretty screwed up sometimes.

Take for example my father. One of my earliest memories involving my father is being taught that "if someone makes you angry, stick your middle finger up at them." (Funny story actually, apparently I did that to an adult at my kingergarten place and got smacked over the head for it. Not that I remember xD) He swears a lot, although recently, I've noticed that this has been curbed a little. He has two addictions (again, trying to cut back), one addiction which I've learned to live with, and gambling. Gambling is not cool. He's short tempered (literally. He'll blow his lid, and then be back to normal in the space of half an hour), and thinks he's good at everything.

My mother can be a little naive sometimes, and doesn't understand half of the things I say to her (not her fault, I speak quite quickly and incoherently that the only people who've learned to understand me are Cookies, Spud and Lief.) She is a bit over-protective and old fashioned (which is why when we have 'discussions' about morals, ethics, money or whatever, we usually end up fighting =/). She is extraordinarily conscious about MY weight. And boy can she hold a grudge.

Combined, my parents are racist and disrespectful of privacy. By that I mean they're quite judgemental when it comes to people of different races. They even have issues against the various categories of Chinese, such as people from Hong Kong and Shanghai. The privacy thing is they don't keep secrets. Ie when I tell one parent something, they tell the other one even though they've been told not to. They berate me when I show any kind of emotion aside from happiness or tiredness (ie sadness and anger).

My brothers are gamers, and one of their major vices is Warcraft. I hate Warcraft, mainly because it turns whoever is playing the blasted game into an unresponsive zombie. I also dislike people who discuss Warcraft as if it were a team sport. Warcraft is not cool.

So those are the bad points I think my family has.

When I say my dad thinks he's good at everything, that's because he is. He is literally a Jack of all trades and Master of several. He tells stories well, and is a good communicator. He's also good at analysing his mistakes, and frequently passes on (sometimes useless) advice to other people. He's funny (it's hereditary xD), kind, generous, righteous, strong and practical. He is good with kids (seriously. If you see him with a baby, he literally turns to mush). He's pretty intelligent, and can speak 3 dialects of Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese as well as your bog standard English.

My mother, although she doesn't understand my pseudo-philosophical blatherings (then again, who does?), is still quite intelligent. She didn't go to school due to a certain evil despot (I'm talking about Pol Pot here. He was a bastard.), so she has issues with spelling and vocabulary (and still thinks in Chinese). But she has pulled herself through an Accounting course at TAFE, a First Aid Certificate course, and is currently training to become an aged care worker. She is also kind, generous and righteous.

My brothers are awesome (when they're not playing warcraft). We got each other's backs. They can play guitar (better than me, though it irks me to say so). Makes for some fun jamming time. They are funny (told you it was hereditary), and smart. The elder is more emotionally understanding, while the younger is more philosophically astute.

It's easier to find good stuff about your family when you love and trust them, and they love and trust you back. So yeah, my family is pretty awesome. I feel sad whenever I hear about people who either don't have families, or feel alienated by their families (like Lief and Son of Aeson.) Then again, I'm in a good mood and I'm usually optimistic when I'm content, so it's easy to spot the good points. =]

Family, friends and f***ing deadlines.

Right. So all the yearbook stuff is due this Tuesday or Wednesday, according to Charizard, who I incidentally met at the Macquarie shopping centre today, looking for a dress. One of the editors, let's just call her Crackers, asked me to do a group page for our biology class. I said yes, knowing full well that I had to go buy my dress for the formal, take my visiting family out on Sunday AND Monday. I don't know why I said yes. God damnit why didn't she ask me LAST week when I wasn't so busy that I had to cancel an event I've planned since ages ago. I HATE cancelling events.

Yes. I is angry.

Stupid Crackers.

Although, the animosity I'm directing towards her really is unjustified. And possibly hypocrital. I distinctly remember telling my mother that she should hold grudges against people because being angry at someone for a long time is like holding a hot coal with the intention to hurt someone else for a long time, but you just end up hurting yourself. I think the Buddha said something along those lines.

So I should probably stop hating her for no reason. Considering I don't like Wothisface anymore, and she's gotten back together with her boyfriend. I guess I wasn't strong enough to think about Wothisface's well-being instead of being pointlessly jealous. Hopefully I'll learn. Considering I keep saying that I think monogamy is horrible and pointless, I shouldn't really feel jealous about this kind of thing. Parental and societal conditioning is rather difficult to break. -_-

Wow, this blogging stuff really works.

There was supposed to be a coherent thread to this blog, but I've kind of lost it =/

My cousin (The perfect one. because she's tall, skinny and intelligent. and also because she does chores without being asked, and doesn't talk back to her mother. LIKE A GOOD DAUGHTER SHOULD! I love her, seriously, but I feel rather inferior when I'm around her. And that's something, considering my inflated ego =/), her boyfriend Scooby, and her brother The Dancer all arrived in Sydney on Sunday. My father and I took them out to the city today to sightsee. We drove to Milsons Point to take photos of the Harbour Bridge, the Opera House from across the Harbour, and Luna Park. Scooby and the Dancer had some fun playing with forced perspectives =D

Then we drove around to Chinatown to have lunch. According to The Dancer, the standard for testing a new bubble tea place is to try their Taro milk tea. If it's smooth, creamy and is just sweet enough, the rest of their teas must be good as well. I should test this out. It gives me an excuse to have bubble tea xD

We went to Tumbalong Park after lunch. It's been ages since I've been there. I'm surprised at how much I've grown since in four years, because everything is so much smaller than I remember =S I used to love going there to play in the park with my brothers. Now all that they're interested in is Warcraft. =( I really hate that game sometimes.

We did a lot of walking, mostly around the shopping mall at the Harbour, and around Market City. We didn't actually buy anything Oo Except for food. Which I'm trying not to eat, because I've realized when I put on my formal dress, you can see my stomach.

Don't get me wrong. I usually love the way I look. I know that as a young woman, I'm probably as perfect and as beautiful as I will ever be. And that as I grow older, it can only go downhill from there. It's just recently, I've been panicking because I'm adhering to other people's standards of beauty. Namely my mother's.

Which somehow leads me to the topics of eating disorders. I think I used to have bulimia. I remember that at some stage I used to overeat, and then run off to the bathroom to regurgitate. I used to feel a lot better afterwards, because I didn't have that horrible bloated feeling. My brother did it too. So I checked with the doctor, and it was acid reflux. But I do remember running off to the loo to regurgitate even when I hadn't eaten much.

I know some people throw up their food because it gives them a sense of control over something in their life. I actually find that eating normal meals in smaller portions several times throughout the day helps me to keep my food down. And in that way, it gives me more control than if I wantonly overeat, and puke it all up again.

That's a disturbing topic. =/ Let's move on.

Instead of going to Cookies' "Fighting Dreamers" photoshoot at school today, I went out with my cousins. Yay. =/ Oh well, I'll see everyone on Thursday, and we'll all be dressed up nicely, and we'll take a stack of photos then. And we won't sleep, we'll just dance and talk all night. I'm looking forward to that.

I'm also looking forward to turning eighteen, because my cousins are going to take me out clubbing for the first time. This is why I love my cousins, they provide for me like siblings would. And they're a good moderating force for my parents. (they went to the Chris Brown and Rihanna concert in New Zealand. Apparently, Rihanna was like "Hello Auckland! *crickets chirp* Auckland sucks! LOL epic phail, Anyway, maybe they'll be able to convince my parents that concerts AREN'T a waste of money, or dangerous.) So yay! Clubbing, and insane doses of Berocca (not so much the alcohol, I don't want to embarass myself... the last time I drank, I almost immediately regurgitated it back out again @.@ I don't handle drugs well, unlike The Dancer... because he's a pharmacist xD get it? Oh I'm a funny one... not)

Photoshoot and work

After the Chem exam, Spud, M and I went over to Cookies' house for a Victorian/Gothic/Creepy Doll photoshoot. We dressed up in frilly, lacy dresses, put up a ton of black make up and posed in our best inanimate object poses. Cookies got to play with her new camera filters =] We had a Alice in Wonderland themed tea party ^^ It was a lot of fun =D

I actually enjoy work, which is great. I sit for 3-4 hours working through a maths exercise book and check the answers to make sure the answers are right. And I get paid for it! Unfortunately I only get paid $12/hour, so it's not as much money as I would receve if I were to privately tutor students. Hopefully I'll be able to take Cookies' mother's younger students, and get some experience tutoring.

My cousins are coming over tomorrow. I'm so busy next week that I'll only be able to spend 2 days with them =( I guess I'll have to cancel something. I hate cancelling events.

I better clean my room.

Barrack Obama! or How I got a job before the world exploded

So. Barrack Obama is the new President of the United States. Thank God MacPalin didn't win. Yeah, I have a thing for portmanteaus. But, now that I think about it, anyone who wasn't Republican was bound to win by a landslide. And I guess it's a good sign that we have the first African-American president, because it means we're taking a step closer to removing racism. Yay! I know nothing about politics though, so I'm not going to continue on the subject.

I have a new job! Yay! I'm working at a tutoring college place thing, which is next to the youth centre in a nearby suburb. I stood in as a homework helper for someone in uni who was putting the last minute touches on a thesis, because it was due that day -__- So technically, I don't have a position as a tutor as such. I'm going back tomorrow as a proofreader for exams/papers/exercises (not really sure which), to see if I'm suitable for the job.

The place is packed with Asians, particularly Koreans. It's amazing how I was only separated by some of the staff and the students by a degree. The manager of staff there is the aunt of one of boys in my grade Oo Two students from our school prefecture have been working there for two years or so.

I'm lucky I got a job so close to my house. I only have to take the bus for a few minutes, costing me less than a dollar either way. It's also close to the shops, so I can go deposit me cheque when I get paid =)

The hours are also pretty flexible. I can choose when I want to work to some extent, which is good, because I do have plans during this break until I start uni. It's so different to be working... there's one more responsibility I have to deal with... gosh... I don't know what day's I'll be working yet.

I'll be paid about $12 an hour, which is alright because I'm happy with whatever I get at the moment. Once I start uni, I hope I'll get paid more. If not, no problem =) I'm just happy to get a job this quickly, and to be paid. I got $25 in cash for 1.5 hours of work =) hehehe

It's not a difficult job either. Max year ten level maths. But it's still challenging enough to keep my brain ticking =) Sometimes I have to check myself to make sure that the students understand how to do a question, or to make sure that I'm teaching them in a way that they've been taught already and not something they'll learn in year 8 =S

I have a really nice boss. At least so far, she seems very thoughtful and considerate. I haven't been introduced to the other student aged staff yet, but I'll get around to that eventually. I'm more worried about getting along with the people my age. Gah. According to the boss, she wants us to focus and not to socialise. Which I'm fine with, at the moment.

So, Auntie came over today to learn how to make mochi from my mum. Turns out I'm ok at it... if a little bit slow. I asked her for some help with food for schoolies. She suggested that we make sauces and freeze them, bring them on the bus an freeze them again. Then eat it with pasta. I'm thinking, for breakfast I'd be happy with wheet bix and fruit with milk. We could make simple sandwiches for lunch, and for dinner have the frozen pasta stuff, or salad with bbq from woolies.

Basically, we'd need: an esky, party ice, cereal, fruit, milk, bread, ha,, tuna, salmon, lettuce, cucumber, tomato, beetroot, cheese, carrot, beef mince, pasta, olives, pork

I'll probably bring my Ipod, and posssibly the laptop so I can charge said Ipod, CD's, PS2, Gamecube, board games to play on the bus, cards.

Now that I have a job, paying back the money for schoolies to mum should be okay. And Grandad has given me a bit of money too.

Stuff to bring: Sleeping bag, pillow, linen, pyjamas, socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, facewash, soap, moisturiser, sunscreen, after sun lotion, toner, hat, wax, towel, hairdryer,

Love is...

Something quite complex obviously. Something that my adolescent brain can't fully comprehend yet. There's platonic love which encompasses the affection you feel for family and close friends. And then there's the so called "romantic" love. Two distinct things you would say. But isn't romantic love just platonic love, mixed with a good dose of lust and a desire for exclusivity?

I can't exactly say that my experiences on this subject are extensive. One of my best friends, Lief, who is even more of a hopeless romantic than I am, and who is currently embroiled in the horrors of the HSC. When he comes out of that, he'll be embroiled in taking the love of his life (or at least this year), to the formal. Unfortunately, she already has a boyfriend. This is where the problematic desire for exclusivity cancels out the platonic love. Which is stupid.

Maybe, if you loved someone enough, it would give you the strength to ignore the fact that they don't love you back, and that they're happier that way. And that's what's best for them.

I nearly convinced myself I was in love this year. Technically, it was an infatuation. I think I was just looking for excuses to act, talk and think silly. Because, in a sense, being in love is exciting. It can be painful, but that's what adds the fun. Maybe. I'm obviously highly masochistic and I enjoy putting myself through emotional trauma. Not.

I've actually noticed a trend. Not a year has gone past since I've started highschool - heck it even goes back to 2nd grade - that I haven't entertained notions of romance with someone. And now that I've noticed that, it was quite easy to get over