I'm not going to see 1.5 spot, because I can't be bothered. Sure I feel guilty about declining one of the parts, and sure I feel guilty that I'm not more involved in the club. That doesn't make me anymore inclined to make plans to go see it. So I'm going to lie and say that I was busy. It's not so bad, because I don't know the people in the drama club that well.
And also, one of my new psych buddies at uni is having relationship problems. It wasn't my place to ask, but I did. And there's so many problems I don't even know where to begin to help her out.
I figure she's a girl, so she'll be needed some kind of emotional reassurance. She wants someone to tell her it'll all be ok, and that it will all work out. So I did.
I lied. Most highschool relationships don't survive the transition to uni. This also includes friendships. Most long-distance relationships don't work out. Most people realise that they don't actually know their partner that well after the initial flood of hormones goes away.
Statistically, her relationship is destined to fail. I could work out the probability of it happening.
Friendships don't really last into uni either. It's either a success (π) or fail (1-π). The success rate is approximately 2/15. The Bernoulli distribution indicates that in general, there's a right skew, i.e. you lose most of your friends. I actually punched this into Excel, and that's what I got.
It's kind of sad really.
We tell each other lies everyday. It gives us hope and happiness. Without happiness we are depressed. Without either happiness nor hope, we are suicidal. Hence we tell each other lies to keep each other alive.
But hey, that's ok. Because in the long run, surviving is all that matters.
Friday 27 March 2009
Thursday 26 March 2009
the world around me makes me feel so small
am i alone now? in the depths of night, all are asleep and i am suffocated by the silence. am i lonely? in the crowd of nameless faces, and faceless names, one melts into the other, and the others melt into one. am i alive? a drug fuelled high, a sugar solution rushing through my veins. am i dead? my limbs numb, my thoughts are slowed. do i push people away, or do they push me? i have no control, the merged faces, mean nothing to me, i mean nothing. i am nothing.
Scratch that
According to the humanist perspective (hush Cookies, I'm not trying to force anything down your throat xD), there is a hierarchy of needs which goes as follows
1) physiological, which is the need for food and water
2) safety, eg housing and money
3) love/belongingness, which is relationships with friends, family and also intimacy
4) esteem, eg respect from peers
5) self-actualisation, that is creative art, service to others, morality etc
This is known as Maslow's hierachy of needs. He states that all of the lower needs must be fulfilled in order, before you can reach the highest category. That is, you have to fulfil physiological needs first, then safety needs, and so on before reaching self-actualisation
He states that if one spends one's entire life trying to fulfil one of the lower tiers, then they will not be self-actualised, and hence will have problems. This is the basis of psychological problems according to Maslow.
Of course, there are flaws to Maslow's theory, and these have been raised by other psychologists, but he does make a point. If you're always wondering where your next meal is coming from you're not going to care if a piece of music is Baroque or Contemporary.
I think I'm stuck somewhere between 3 and 4. I find myself staying up pretty late these days, and everyone in my house goes to bed. more often than not, I'm awake into the weird hours, listening to music, doing work, or procrastinating. It's in these hours that I feel really alone.
1) physiological, which is the need for food and water
2) safety, eg housing and money
3) love/belongingness, which is relationships with friends, family and also intimacy
4) esteem, eg respect from peers
5) self-actualisation, that is creative art, service to others, morality etc
This is known as Maslow's hierachy of needs. He states that all of the lower needs must be fulfilled in order, before you can reach the highest category. That is, you have to fulfil physiological needs first, then safety needs, and so on before reaching self-actualisation
He states that if one spends one's entire life trying to fulfil one of the lower tiers, then they will not be self-actualised, and hence will have problems. This is the basis of psychological problems according to Maslow.
Of course, there are flaws to Maslow's theory, and these have been raised by other psychologists, but he does make a point. If you're always wondering where your next meal is coming from you're not going to care if a piece of music is Baroque or Contemporary.
I think I'm stuck somewhere between 3 and 4. I find myself staying up pretty late these days, and everyone in my house goes to bed. more often than not, I'm awake into the weird hours, listening to music, doing work, or procrastinating. It's in these hours that I feel really alone.
Too soon?
I was going to post about Law and Morality (don't grumble Cookies, Jurisprudence is good for you), but I've gottten stuck at some point and can't think of anything else cohesive to put into the article. So that's been sidelined until I can think of something smart to say.
Until then I'll leave you with this joke:
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
Yes. I'm an awful person. But at least I'm not a spoilt brat.
Until then I'll leave you with this joke:
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
Yes. I'm an awful person. But at least I'm not a spoilt brat.
Thursday 19 March 2009
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Monday 16 March 2009
Easter, Oestre and Hōnen Matsuri
It's that time of year again.
Every shoppping centre you visit is decked out with Cadbury Bunnies and eggs.
In Christian terms, Easter. In pagan terms, Oestre. In Japanese terms Hōnen Matsuri. Yep, it's harvest time, and everything fertility or birth related time as well.
I suppose the Oestre festivals and the harvest festivals were historically first. Human kind seems to have an affinity with celebrating with rituals and large groups.
In Japan, the Hōnen Matsuri is the celebration of a bountiful harvest, prosperity and fertility. Its most famous symbol is the large wooden phallus that is paraded from shrine to shrine. While this is highly amusing to foreigners, it is a sacred event for the Japanese.
The bunny (or a hare) and the egg were originally pagan in nature. Rabbits breed very quickly, and eggs represent birth, so it makes sense that these are symbols that, to this day, represent fertility and birth. These were once offered to the goddess of fertility, who has been called a variety names, one of which has been Anglicised to Easter.
So there we have two festivals/tributes to the harvest/fertility.
Where does the Christian Easter come from? Historically, it's very vague about the actual date that Jesus was crucified and resurrected. (It's also very vague about the date that Jesus was born.) It's very convenient that many of the Christian festivals fall on or near dates of the equinoxes and solstices. As for Easter, it's VERY convenient that the death and rebirth of Jesus is represented through ancient symbols of birth an fertility. Which has been pointed out before. In fact, a lot of pagan rituals have carried over to Christianity, as it's been stated, to allow for an easier transition of religion for the pagans in the countries where Christianity originally flourished (The Roman Empire I think).
So why make the bunnies and eggs out of chocolate then? Chocolate was imported from the Americas, and was once described as one of the Devil's temptations. Hilarious that it's now a major symbol for many of the countries that celebrate Easter.
Can't really think of a conclusion, just thought I'd bring up some observations I'd found interesting. Happy Easter!
Every shoppping centre you visit is decked out with Cadbury Bunnies and eggs.
In Christian terms, Easter. In pagan terms, Oestre. In Japanese terms Hōnen Matsuri. Yep, it's harvest time, and everything fertility or birth related time as well.
I suppose the Oestre festivals and the harvest festivals were historically first. Human kind seems to have an affinity with celebrating with rituals and large groups.
In Japan, the Hōnen Matsuri is the celebration of a bountiful harvest, prosperity and fertility. Its most famous symbol is the large wooden phallus that is paraded from shrine to shrine. While this is highly amusing to foreigners, it is a sacred event for the Japanese.
The bunny (or a hare) and the egg were originally pagan in nature. Rabbits breed very quickly, and eggs represent birth, so it makes sense that these are symbols that, to this day, represent fertility and birth. These were once offered to the goddess of fertility, who has been called a variety names, one of which has been Anglicised to Easter.
So there we have two festivals/tributes to the harvest/fertility.
Where does the Christian Easter come from? Historically, it's very vague about the actual date that Jesus was crucified and resurrected. (It's also very vague about the date that Jesus was born.) It's very convenient that many of the Christian festivals fall on or near dates of the equinoxes and solstices. As for Easter, it's VERY convenient that the death and rebirth of Jesus is represented through ancient symbols of birth an fertility. Which has been pointed out before. In fact, a lot of pagan rituals have carried over to Christianity, as it's been stated, to allow for an easier transition of religion for the pagans in the countries where Christianity originally flourished (The Roman Empire I think).
So why make the bunnies and eggs out of chocolate then? Chocolate was imported from the Americas, and was once described as one of the Devil's temptations. Hilarious that it's now a major symbol for many of the countries that celebrate Easter.
Can't really think of a conclusion, just thought I'd bring up some observations I'd found interesting. Happy Easter!
Sunday 15 March 2009
A series of increasingly uncomfortable conversations.
A topic that comes up surprisingly often these days between my parents and I, unfortunately, is sex. I think the reason this topic is coming up so often is because
1) I'm in uni with a variety of people, instead of your standard Asian nerds.
2) I can drink alcohol
3) I go out a lot more where they can't monitor my behaviour
And hence they panic and freak out.
It's extraordinarily awkward to talk about *certain* things with your parents. I'd come up with some kind of metaphor or analogy, but the truth is I cannot think of anything more awkward than that.
The hard and fast line they are trying to put across is "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE". That also includes anything beyond hugging and, the recently conceded, kissing. My dad in particular wants me to stay as pure as the driven snow until I get married, and my mum wants me to stay "innocent" and I would stay that way if I steered clear of carnal knowledge.
Why?
Well, there are a multitude of reasons I suppose.
For example, according to the major religions of the world, there are reasons for abstinence.
Christianity forbids premarital sex. Some strands of Judeo-Christian religions also frown upon affection between married couples. I haven't read enough of the bible to explain this uet, but I'm fairly certain that's the case.
In Buddhism, one of the precepts, that is the behavioural guides for righteous living, is not to indulge in physical excess. This I do know the reason for. The causes of suffering, according to Buddhism, is desire for things that are physical, or tangible. This desire ties us to the world, hence be freed of this existence, and will be reborn again into the cycle of suffering.
According to the law, sex between consenting heterosexuals over the age of 16 is legal, sex between consenting homosexuals over the age of 18 is legal, sex between a 15 year old and a 18 year old is illegal, sex between two 16 year old males is illegal and all sorts of other fun things. Law, as I've been learning in Law, is not necessarily tied to morals.
Socially, it is less acceptable for a woman to have multiple sexual partners than a man. I think this stems from this society being somewhat religious.
Biologically speaking (again), sex stimulates chemicals that screw up with rational thought processes. I like thinking. I like having control. Anything that would prevent me from thinking clearly and depriving me of what little control I have over my life's situation surely would be detrimental.
So there's a wide range of reasons for why I shouldn't have sex.
Now, as far as I've heard, sex is a pleasurable experience. Explained on a technical level it seems a little messy. Biologically it used to be necessary for this to occur in order for reproduction to occur. But with the introduction of contraception, abortion, IVF etc, this is not necessarily the case.
Humans all experience desire at some stage, unless there is something neurologically wrong with them. Now this is just in general, as the word desire encompasses many facets.
As far as I'm concerned, sex is a base kind of pleasure. It is a purely physical sensation. However, as human beings, we ARE physical beings, despite having opposable thumbs and a brain, and all the kerfuffle raised over the years how Homo Sapiens are somehow separate to animals. Hence, if we are entitled to pleasures such as reading, writing, music, art etc, we should also be entitled to the most controversial physical pleasures as well.
I don't intend on getting married. And if I do get married, it will not follow the conventions of a typical marriage according to either religious norms nor shall it follow the norms my parents propose. Hence, it will be regarded as an invalid "marriage" by both society and my parents.
From this, it follows that I will never have sexual relations with anyone.
Now this is something I intensely disagree with.
I feel as though the only thing preventing me from choosing how to live my life is fear of some sanction, whether it is from a religious, social or moral power. Hence, this unnamed power is preventing me from having some form of control over my life, and this is the collar that chafes at my neck.
The problem with my parents just telling me to not have sex is that the reasons they give for it are a little arbitary. Most of the reasons I've listed here I've had to come up with for myself.
In the end, I've decided on a set of guidelines for my own behaviour, that is not quite in accordance to the values my parents and parts of my society espouse. I just hope that there aren't too many negative consequences from that, and if there are consequences I hope I can deal with them.
YARRRRR.
1) I'm in uni with a variety of people, instead of your standard Asian nerds.
2) I can drink alcohol
3) I go out a lot more where they can't monitor my behaviour
And hence they panic and freak out.
It's extraordinarily awkward to talk about *certain* things with your parents. I'd come up with some kind of metaphor or analogy, but the truth is I cannot think of anything more awkward than that.
The hard and fast line they are trying to put across is "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE". That also includes anything beyond hugging and, the recently conceded, kissing. My dad in particular wants me to stay as pure as the driven snow until I get married, and my mum wants me to stay "innocent" and I would stay that way if I steered clear of carnal knowledge.
Why?
Well, there are a multitude of reasons I suppose.
For example, according to the major religions of the world, there are reasons for abstinence.
Christianity forbids premarital sex. Some strands of Judeo-Christian religions also frown upon affection between married couples. I haven't read enough of the bible to explain this uet, but I'm fairly certain that's the case.
In Buddhism, one of the precepts, that is the behavioural guides for righteous living, is not to indulge in physical excess. This I do know the reason for. The causes of suffering, according to Buddhism, is desire for things that are physical, or tangible. This desire ties us to the world, hence be freed of this existence, and will be reborn again into the cycle of suffering.
According to the law, sex between consenting heterosexuals over the age of 16 is legal, sex between consenting homosexuals over the age of 18 is legal, sex between a 15 year old and a 18 year old is illegal, sex between two 16 year old males is illegal and all sorts of other fun things. Law, as I've been learning in Law, is not necessarily tied to morals.
Socially, it is less acceptable for a woman to have multiple sexual partners than a man. I think this stems from this society being somewhat religious.
Biologically speaking (again), sex stimulates chemicals that screw up with rational thought processes. I like thinking. I like having control. Anything that would prevent me from thinking clearly and depriving me of what little control I have over my life's situation surely would be detrimental.
So there's a wide range of reasons for why I shouldn't have sex.
Now, as far as I've heard, sex is a pleasurable experience. Explained on a technical level it seems a little messy. Biologically it used to be necessary for this to occur in order for reproduction to occur. But with the introduction of contraception, abortion, IVF etc, this is not necessarily the case.
Humans all experience desire at some stage, unless there is something neurologically wrong with them. Now this is just in general, as the word desire encompasses many facets.
As far as I'm concerned, sex is a base kind of pleasure. It is a purely physical sensation. However, as human beings, we ARE physical beings, despite having opposable thumbs and a brain, and all the kerfuffle raised over the years how Homo Sapiens are somehow separate to animals. Hence, if we are entitled to pleasures such as reading, writing, music, art etc, we should also be entitled to the most controversial physical pleasures as well.
I don't intend on getting married. And if I do get married, it will not follow the conventions of a typical marriage according to either religious norms nor shall it follow the norms my parents propose. Hence, it will be regarded as an invalid "marriage" by both society and my parents.
From this, it follows that I will never have sexual relations with anyone.
Now this is something I intensely disagree with.
I feel as though the only thing preventing me from choosing how to live my life is fear of some sanction, whether it is from a religious, social or moral power. Hence, this unnamed power is preventing me from having some form of control over my life, and this is the collar that chafes at my neck.
The problem with my parents just telling me to not have sex is that the reasons they give for it are a little arbitary. Most of the reasons I've listed here I've had to come up with for myself.
In the end, I've decided on a set of guidelines for my own behaviour, that is not quite in accordance to the values my parents and parts of my society espouse. I just hope that there aren't too many negative consequences from that, and if there are consequences I hope I can deal with them.
YARRRRR.
Sunday 8 March 2009
It's plain to see the evil inside of me is on the rise...
Hmm... turned down a part in a play because it clashes with Animania... which I've already paid for... and even though I know Animania won't be all that awesome, I'd rather spend a day with my highschool friends than with people I barely know at uni... so sue me. Plus it clashes with M's birthday... and the director is scary... and the play is kind of cliched (but awesome) and the afterparty would have been fun too... but >_> doesn't matter la.
Hopefully I'll get into the Dr Horrible musical though. I watched that yesterday, and it is totally legen... wait for it.... dary! Legendary! Neil Patrick Harris is an amazing singer and actor. I bet he breaks hearts everytime people find out he's gay. *crosses fingers*
I haven't done anything so evil recently... but I still have foot in mouth disease -_- it's not so bad if I don't talk.... or drink... or have caffeine... stupid drugs....
Hopefully I'll get into the Dr Horrible musical though. I watched that yesterday, and it is totally legen... wait for it.... dary! Legendary! Neil Patrick Harris is an amazing singer and actor. I bet he breaks hearts everytime people find out he's gay. *crosses fingers*
I haven't done anything so evil recently... but I still have foot in mouth disease -_- it's not so bad if I don't talk.... or drink... or have caffeine... stupid drugs....
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