Australian Internet Censorship: The New Ingsoc.

Stephen Conroy, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, is pushing for ISP filtering in Australia. He plans to get the legislation through before the next election. According to Conroy, the censor will protect children from coming across inappropriate material.

Since when do we need a nanny state? It should be up to the parents to protect their children from material their children should or should not be seeing, and even this should be limited. A twelve year old may be counted as a children under law, but my youngest brother can make rational decisions (and can probably get around the filter anyway).

If this censor is enforced, Australia will be on a slippery slope to becoming a police state. Already, our right to free speech is impinged upon by law. Our rights to free speech not protected, and furthermore our rights are not protected by law.

The internet censorship will be the first of it's kind in Western Democracy. It will restrict not only freedom of expression, but also freedom of information and will push Australia out of the international market for digital media.

My only hope now is that the senate doesn't put the legislation through.

Fan-fucking-tastic

The police and an ambulance at my house. Don't I feel fucking special.

Fan-fucking-tastic

The police and an ambulance at my house. Don't I feel fucking special.

conflict of interest

tomorrow:

1) work
2) Pendragon's shindig
3) study

I probably need to go to work because I'm saving up for my bro and I to go to Thailand.

I probably need to get out and see my friends again

I probably need to get a head start on cramming for my last two exams.

All at the same time =/

I can't think of what to write.

So I'll sing instead.

Secret fears

Things I fear/am worrying about/freaking out about:

1) Since most of the Awesome team attend one of two big universities and only an handful attend unis besides those two, the ones who don't attend the two big unis will drift away/become alienated/forgotten.

2) I will fail all my subjects this semester due to my stuff ups this semester.

3) Every guy that I become interested in will be much more interested in everyone I know except me.

my mum is awesome

my mum drove me to uni yesterday so i could hand in my assignment on time. i think if i hadn't handed in the statistics assignment on time my pride would totally be destroyed, and i probably would have just given up on everything.

but i got it in on time. and now i'm doing psychology.

next is my law presentation =/

but i have to do whatever i have to do to get it done right?

and then afterwards I'm going to party like there's no tomorrow.

p.p.s

I'm probably going to get the "I told you so" speech from dad tomorrow.

I caved and talked to my mum about how terrified i am of failing some of my subjects this semester. I really needed to make sure I wasn't going to be crucified for failing time management. She said it was okay. I feel slightly better.

Anyway. Shower, then back to work.

diving into my own destruction

so i'm taking a bit of a break. I've written 1152 words for my anthropology essay, and i have about 348 more words to go.

i really dug my own grave this semester.

i feel like i can't breathe.

Reasons why fridays are awesome, and weekends are not

1) On fridays, you catch the bus home with chivalrous-bus-guy.

I actually talked to him today. He's a friend of a friend, and I snagged an introduction. He plays in a band as the bassist/keyboardist. He is half-asian (and by extension ridiculously cute) and does environmental management.

Wait, wait, wait: awesome guy checklist ==>

[x] Musical
[x] funny
[x] uses brain for processes more complex than motor function
[?] open minded
[x] tolerant
[?] attentive
[?] emotional depth
[x] courageous

Well 5/8 is pretty decent, hahaha but I digress

Did I mention he's chivalrous? He gave up his seat under the bus shelter so I wouldn't have to stand in the rain. Aww.

And we catch the same bus regularly ^_______^

But speaking of bus guys, I remember at schoolies I was asked who I liked. I actually lied and made up a story about how I liked this cute guy I met on the bus. Well, heck.

And speaking of bus guys, I have not seen scooter/slogan guy around in ages. It probably does not help that I am no longer running in an election, nor do I take Ancient history. I am more interested in slogan guy's slogans than I am of slogan guy... it piques my curiousity you see =]

2) I've been banned from going out this weekend

Not in those words exactly but dad said: I don't want to control your life but...

There's always that but.

This means I can go watch our very own Piano Prodigy at his Fmus performance, nor will I be going to any birthday parties.

3) It's raining today

Rain makes everything better.

4) You go to work, and your boss offers you more interesting work

On Monday I get to edit their proposed 4u/extension 2 booklet. This is more interesting work than 5/6 G.A./maths trial papers. Abstract math ftw!

Ah look at me, getting all excited about numbers. I'm weird like that.

5) Your cheque will clear in 3 business days

I.e. today! I have a pretty healthy amount of dosh to save up now. Thailand 2010 here I come!

Okay. I lied. Weekends don't suck that much. I have more time to do stuff.

Anyhoo, back to work.

Blame Tara

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as MelRoXx of the blog Life of a Mean Jean. She explains that she was tagged to do the meme by gaelikaa and she states that it's called The Blame Tara Meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: Sunday Stealing: The Blame Tara Meme

Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star?

Currently, I'm obsessed with David Tennant @.@

But I guess normally, I'd say Jude Law is pretty spicy, as well as Scarlett Johansson.

Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?

The most expensive thing that I've bought with money that I've earned is uni textbooks D=

Question 3: What is your most treasured memory?

I have a whole collection of memories from highschool, and I can't pick just one.

Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child?

Books. I loved reading, and reading books got me to where I am now. So in terms of practicality and childhood amusement books were the best investment people have made for me =]

Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

I've made a lot of mistakes, but I guess the biggest mistake I've made (and will probably continue to make) is not utilising my time well =/

Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself.

Open, talkative, outgoing, awkward.

Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008?

Highlight: Birthday party/formal after party

Lowlight: Winter.

Question 8: What was your most embarrassing moment?

Confessing to Wotshisface about my feelings.

Feelings? Pschaaww, what are these feelings you speak of? I have none. PWAHAHAHA

Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself.

I walk around in circles when I'm distressed. I'll actually do several laps of the kitchen/hallway while muttering to myself.

Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be?

Captain Tabouli!!!

No? Ok then, I guess I'd be Hanatarou or Rukia from Bleach, partially because I sort of resemble them, and also because I'm somewhat useless in stressful situations (Hanatarou) and I'm somewhat violent at random times (Rukia).

Woo.

Favourite postsecrets

Some I can relate to, and some I think a thought provoking, funny or just interesting looking =]

The Alpha Meme

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Suzanne from the blog Because Life is a Blessing. She thanks Alpha for the meme. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Alpha Meme


My roommate and I once: set chopsticks on fire. We were quite the pyromaniacs.

Never in my life have I: broken a bone.

High school was: pretty awesome. Life didn't get much better than that.

When I’m nervous: I wave my hands around a lot, and sometimes I smack people in the face.

My hair: is long and black. Much like Neji's ^^

When I was 5: I was a miniature wedding singer. No kidding folks, I sang and people paid me. Aww yeah, that's was the life.

When I turn my head left: my neck makes this funny cricking noise and it hurts. Is that normal gaiz?

I should be: cleaning my room... or something.

By this time next year: I will hopefully still be having fun.

My favorite aunt is: living in NZ and using skype xD

I have a hard time understanding: spanish. Which is somewhat unfortunate when I salsa. But that doesn't bother me much otherwise.

You know I like you if: I bake you cookies.

My ideal breakfast is: nothing. I prefer not to eat breakfast.

If you visit my home town: you'll be quite cold. Srsli, nz is bloody freezing most of the time.

If you spend the night at my house: be prepared to either boil or freeze to death. Temperature varies according to season.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: I think a flying cat would be cool but it has to look like this:

I shouldn’t have been: sticking my hand into the back of the freezer, because now I can't feel the my hands.

Last night I: braided twiggy's hair into cornrows! HAH! It's your fault for growing your hair out so long =P

A better name for me would be: Captain Tabouli. I'm a superhero at heart.

I’ve been told I look like: my brothers. Despite the fact that they're younger and taller.

If I could have any car, it would be: a nice, cheap fuel efficient car. Who wants to spend money on fuel these days?

Leave it to Meme: Hehe

The "Leave It to Meme" Meme: http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/07/leave-it-to-meme-meme.html

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Kyddryn from Shadow and Sweetwater. She claims she stole it from someone on Facebook. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The "Leave It to Meme" Meme

1. Who was your FIRST date?

Lief. Although technically it was a while after we started 'going out' before we both actually had our first (ever) date.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?

Well, music talks to me all the time... but I'd look like a crazy person if I ever tried to talk back =P Well that's what my imaginary friends tell me anyway =/

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Passion pop! Or something like that, I don't exactly remember the name of it. My memory's not so good =/ I think I was in year 4 (about 10 years old), and I went to my best friend's house and they let me try it ^^ Alcoholics start young. Mmm alcohol...

4. What was your FIRST job?

Shop assistant in my parents' bakery. My first paying job was at my cousin's watch kiosk. My first, legally documented job is at a tutoring/coaching college =]

5. What was your FIRST car?

I don't actually own a car, or have a full licence. But, I learnt how to drive in my dad's station wagon, and now I drive both my mum's Aurion and my dad's car... into the kerb, scaring my entire family in the process... I'm not such a great driver D=

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?

I went to Thailand with my parents when I was 2.5 I don't remember a great deal of it.

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

My first best friend (according to my parents) is Yve. I talk to her occasionally, because we're both very busy studying Law ^^

The first best friend I remember is Ange. We stuck together from year 2 to year 5 then she and her entire family disappeared off the face of the planet. Well, not literally. I have no idea what's happened to her.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?

I first attended the wedding of my cousins. I have a lot of those. Cousins I mean, not weddings... I was asked to sing two songs, in languages I didn't understand =D

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.

I've never had a roommate... unless you mean my younger brother? Our old house was pretty small, and we actually had to sleep in the same bed. He kicks in his sleep ><

10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?

I'd wish to be able to communicate and understand all languages. I think I've always wished for that.

Then I'd pretend that I didn't understand and use my skill to get discounts at asian grocery stores in Cabramatta xD

11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?

More languages. I love talking, so how much more fun would it be to talk in a few more tongues? =D

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?

No. Unfortunately the first person I fell in love with didn't love me back... I'm pretty sure he thought that I hated him =/ It's rather unfortunate that even back when I was 10 I was a witty, sarcastic little munchkin.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?

Um... besides school, I guess my first lessons were Chinese lessons, because I thought it might be fun... and my parents thought it'd be a good idea.

Then I got lazy, after the 2nd lesson and didn't go ever again. Fail.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Take off my shoes at the door. Why, what do you do?

They see me trollin', they hatin'

I've been visiting a few forums lately and having interesting conversations with people from other countries. Unfortunately, with visiting forums (and youtube... and deviantart... etc ad nauseum) comes the downside: Trolls.

You know, the horrible people who leave posts on your thread that have nothing to do with the actual thread, which are often insults or bad puns.

Jello shots!

I desperately want to make them.

But there's something supremely pathetic about drinking alone... and neither of my brothers are old enough to drink... not that I'd endorse them drinking D= (they're smarter than I am, and ought to stay that way). I'd make them for the next party that's coming up, but it's being hosted by Babyface, who probably would not appreciate having drunk people around.



Look at them. How could anyone-who's-easily-amused-and-attracted-to-brightly-coloured-things resist?

Speaking of parties, I went to Pendragon's 19th party (I think it was his 19th =S). Funnily enough I was the only girl there... so without me, they would have been having a sausage fest. Actually my presence didn't change anything.... the guys brought party supplies: hats, long balloons, and alcohol.

Of course, like the mature responsible adults we are, we blew up balloons and shaped them into large phalluses. And much hilarity ensued.

I drove to my cousin in law's sister's house yesterday to play badminton + Wii + grand piano, eat dinner, watch Masterchef, play charades, sing karaoke and make attempts at prank calling people at 1am.

From badminton, my arms and ankles are extraordinarily sore. My pride is sore from losing at mario kart (stupid wii mote >=( ). Dinner was delicious (mmm steak and chips... lavishly marinated and salted of course). We took home the leftovers. Surprisingly, no matter what socioeconomic status you belong to, all Asians will use plastic takeaway boxes as Tupperware. I speak the truth. Both my cousin in law and her sister live in humongous, beautiful houses on large plots of land and they both use plastic takeaway containers. It's good to know some things never change.

And thanks to their humongous flat screen T.V, we were able to experience the full surround sound experience of watching the first Naruto movie (english dub... oh the agony...). It wasn't that bad I guess... the best line is when Koyuki-hime watches her father's royal guard leader/manager die, and says: "I can't cry. You have my eyedrops." Heh. A girl after my own heart.

My extended family seems to be really impressed with my plans for the future. I didn't tell them everything though... like how I'm planning to bring the system down from the inside... but that's crazy talk! Don't listen to me haha

Later on in the night I played truth or dare with the kids in the house who weren't playing Maple-story. One of the funnier things we succeed in getting my younger second cousin (once removed) to do was annoy adults. Her dad and his family friend were playing ping pong. I dared her to grab the ping pong ball and run away with it. Hee hee, kids are so cute.

Then we tried prank calling people... but everyone we tried didn't pick up/were asleep. eh. still had fun.

Tomorrow, I plan to enrol in more subjects at uni. I'm not looking forward to that, but I guess if I want to go on exchange I'll have to get enough credits =(

The heretic meme

Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Arnab Chakreborty from the blog The Heretic. He does not say where he got it from. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

Cheers to all us thieves!

http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/07/heretic-meme.html

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with? Barney-wannabe. lol

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat? A Mediterranean restaurant in Parra... don't remember the name though. I had a really nice seafood paella

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? A strongbow, and before that vodka + lemon lime bitters, and before that vodka + apple juice

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips? eyes

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law? Law ftw haha

6. Best kind of pizza? homemade, with a focaccia base, and copious amounts of olives.

7. What is in store for your future? another 4.5 years of law, hopefully an internship in a law firm, many glorious years as a prosecutor/criminologist/solicitor then a few years doing pro bono work, then retirement, in which I will travel the world.

8. Who was the last band you saw live? The various junior/senior/performance bands at my old highschool's music night =]

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick? Er... I guess if they were living with me I would, but most of my friends live pretty far away from me... and sometimes they don't want my help.

10. How many songs are on your iPod? 8769 songs exactly

11. Where is the last place you drove to? the local shopping centre

12. Where did your last kiss take place? in a beach house

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night? sleeping in my bed. heh.

14. Are you a quitter? No. I actually pretty stubborn. But I'm not stupid. If it's not worth pursuing, I won't fight for it.

15. Who was the last person you had in your house? a few of twiggy's and the other one's friends.

15. What do you think about people who party a lot? I'd probably respect them if they manage to work as much as they party. Otherwise, I'd think they were a bit foolish.

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Hell no. I revel in talking about to make other people uncomfortable though. hehe

17. What was the last CD you purchased? technically, i didn't pay for it per se, but rising sand by robert plant and alison krauss... but i'll say it was included in the entrance fee for supanova.

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love? I think Utada Hikaru and The Beatles

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? All of them except greed. But not to an excess

20. How is your last ex doing? Fine, I guess.

I don't care.

I love people who say they don't care about anything, then go ahead and write a blog about it.

Take for example, a certain classmate of my younger brother. He blogs about something controversial, and is greeted with the ensuing flaming. Of course an argument follows, with him finally rage quitting, and then a follow up blog about how stupid everyone else is and how much he doesn't care anymore.

Whatever, loser.

Supanova

On Sunday Cookies, Twiggy, Gandhi and I went to Supanova. Woo!!! check Cookies' blog for most of the photos =]

We got there at about 9:30 to find an already fast growing line! But luckily, the line was for people who had pre-registered, and the line for people who wanted to buy tickets at the door was a lot shorter... when we got there. Then it grew to epic proportions after =O

We spent most of the day taking photos of all the crazy costumes that people had made/bought, looking at the various merchandise stalls, playing COD 4 (well my bro did), and then towards the end of the day sitting tiredly on the second level of The Dome.

Eventually, Rachelle Lefevre stopped talking, and the Cosplay comp/skits started. Some of the skits were pretty good... some were not so good. There'll probably be vids up on youtube eventually. From where we were sitting, we couldn't see very much of it.

Lastly, we went for the Karaoke comp. I hadn't practiced at all, and just joined on a whim. I sang Aozora no Namida by Hitomi Takahashi, a song that is way out of my range. Cookies hadn't practiced since Animania, and sung Sousei no Aquarion. Gandhi had practiced a lot, and sung Hana by Orange Range. there were like... 7 singers.

Cookies came first (yay!) and Gandhi came second. Pretty awesome, guys ^^

For the trip home, it's a rather complicated process of getting from Sydney Olympic Park to the Western suburbs =/ By public transport, it's train, train (or bus if track work is happening), then bus to get home. Gah.

Anyway, travelling home in costume is rather fun, because it attracts a lot of stares from other passengers. Heh. And it also attracts crazy looking dudes who want to tell you their life story.

Well not quite. I dropped a safety pin on the ground, and me, cookies and gandhi spent a good minute looking for it. Then one of the train drivers/station guards came up and found it. Which led us to a convo about his good eyesight, which led to how his eye was crook from working as a welder, then a hand injury then to him working in the public transport industry.

We waited for Cookies' parents to come pick us up from Parra. While we waited we got hungry, so we ended up a Hungry Jack's. Their cheeseburgers have a rubbery texture. Yuck.

Fun day. Yeeeeewwwwww.

Finish the sentence meme

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Finish The Sentence Meme: http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/2009/06/finish-sentence-meme.html

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss... gave me the strength to focus on my education, and not on my next relationship.

2. I am listening to... Iron Maiden.

3. I talk... a lot.

4. I love... my family.

5. My best friend/s... is awesome.

6. My first real kiss... was not that great. Actually it was pretty gross. Actually, it put me off of kissing for a month.

7. Love is... a lot of things. A blog's worth of things. It can't be defined in a sentence.

8. Marriage is... great for some people, but probably not for me.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... of themselves, probably.

10. I'll always... be really short.

11. The last time I really cried was because... a stupid, stupid mistake was made.

12. My cell phone... is a brick that has lasted quite some time. =]

13. When I wake up in the morning... I usually stay in bed for another few minutes.

14. Before I go to bed... I brush my teeth. Or check Facebook =/

15. Right now I am thinking about... John Mayer. Well a particular song anyway.

16. Babies are... cute I guess.

17. I get on Myspace... NEVER. MySpace is the cesspool of the internet.

18. Today I... drove to Cabramatta =S

19. Tomorrow I will be... working! Then crossing off some things from my 100 things to do before I die list.

20. I really want to be... an agent of global change. Someday.

Dr. Tiller, Twilight and abortion.

So, I found this hilarious re-edit of the New Moon (sequel to Twilight) film. It addresses half human, half vampire babies, werewolves, sex and abortion. Which leads me to my next point.

I read in the news recently that some guy killed the only doctor in the States that performed 2nd and 3rd trimester abortions. My first reaction was what sort of situation requires that late an abortion? Then I read this article: http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/06/01/late_term_abortion/
Then my other reaction was Bill O'Reilly, and the people that killed Dr Tiller were jerks.

Here's some evidence of Bill O'Reilly being a jerk, and Fox News unbiased and fair coverage:


Some of the cases Dr Tiller had to deal with were quite tragic. He was a pretty brave doctor, considering the politcal and legal climate in the states regarding abortion, in the first trimester alone.

Then that reminded me of Crushedbyingsoc's post on abortion: http://crushedwithkisses.blogspot.com/2009/03/contraception-abortion-and.html. His arguments seem to be a mix between what R. Dworkin defines as the derivative and detached views.

Derivative view: Foetuses are human from the moment of conception, and hence they have rights and interests that must be protected. Hence abortion is bad because it violates basic human rights.

Detached view: Human life is intrinsically valuable or sacred, and abortion is bad because it's a cosmic shame to waste life.

Crushed explains why certain religions found contraception to be murder: before we had scientific knowledge of what life was, we thought that spermatozoa were miniature humans. Now we know that's not true.

From a biological point of view, spermatozoa and ovum are not single celled organisms. They are cells of the human body. Think of them like skin cells. You don't make a huge fuss about killing skin cells yeah? So human sex cells are not lifeforms.

Erm... I guess I wanted to prove why Dr Tiller shouldn't have died.

From the pro-life view, even if Dr. Tiller was a murderer (murder: the intent to kill a human being), it does not mean that someone has the right to murder him. According to the law, if an individual violates the rights of another person, it is legitimate to restrict the rights of that individual. But the people who have the right to restrict rights are officers of the law, not offended citizens. In my view, the murderer of Dr. Tiller should go to jail.

In the article, Dr Tiller has performed abortions for women who "included women diagnosed with cancer who needed abortions to qualify for chemotherapy, women who learned late in their pregnancies that their wanted babies had fatal illnesses, and rape victims so young they didn't realize they were pregnant for months."

So the first thing the article listed was pregnant cancer patients. Lets assume that these cancer patients would die before childbirth. So if the woman didn't qualify for chemotherapy, she would die before giving birth, or before carrying the child long enough for it to survive in intensive care. Which would kill both mother and baby. Now from a derivative view, some would say that it is better to let the mother die, than to actively kill the baby. But in this case, lets say that doing nothing kills them both. Then, we've lost 2 lives, rather than one. Which is bad, no matter which view you look at it from. So I guess it's legitimate to carry out late term abortions in this case.

The second thing that the article mentioned was that Dr Tiller performed abortions for "women who learned late in their pregnancies that their wanted babies had fatal illnesses." In this case, if we assume that these fatal illness would cause enough pain to the child once it is born to amount to torture, we could say that giving birth to the child would violate the right to bodily dignity (ie the right not to be tortured). So to give birth a child that will suffer tremendous pain is cruel, so perhaps an abortion here would also be considered legitimate (from both the derivative and detached view).

In the third case mentioned: "rape victims so young they didn't realize they were pregnant for months", I think that we have to talk about the rights of the mother over that of the child. It's pretty obvious that an pregnant 11 year old rape victim would be further traumatised by the birth of a child right? The process of childbirth could probably amount to a form of mental and physical torture.

The pro-life camp would argue that a child in the late second trimester has reached viability (ie that it can survive through care in an incubator if taken out via surgery), and hence it counts legally as a person, and has the right to life.

How can you balance the rights of the mother and the rights of the child? Currently, there doesn't seem to be a legal answer to this, so I'll discuss this on a theoretical level. J.J. Thomson

The sun is high, all the birds are singing...

...that you're gonna die.



Still ridiculously happy from watching Dr Horrible. I ended up going to watch it with Cookies, Twiggy, Spud, Hedless, Aix, and Bob (who does law with me). We bummed around uni for a bit with Doormat (until he had to leave to beat the traffic), hit McCentre to have dinner, then hit the bar to play pool until the show started.

The best character was Moist, played by Josh Nott, who emulated a downtrodden moisture ridden wanna-be evil henchman extraordinarily well. After that the best character, I think, was Penny, played by Emilia Thomas, who has the loveliest singing voice in student theatre I've heard so far. Equal third is Dr Horrible (Andrew Jackson), Captain Hammer (Christian Berechree). Both played their parts quite well, with their own stamp on the original characters. Then the Bad Horse Men, (Felix Pringle, Chris James, Nick Commins, Nib Brattoni). It was fairly close in terms of who I liked best though.

If you haven't seen the original Dr Horrible sing-along-blog, you need to look it up on youtube and watch it. It's really awesome.

So, it's now stuvac, but I figured I'd have more luck typing up a blog entry about the past semester and what I've learned (not academically that is).

Uni has been pretty good. I'm only doing three subjects (because apparently as a psych student I have to sign waiver forms and the like to do non-core units). Consequently, I have a 3.5 day time table and 11am starts. Which have the dis/advantage of me being relaxed for the entire semester.

Law has been really fascinating. One of the things we discussed was euthanasia and abortion which I found really fascinating... and I will write up a blog about that soon... after the exams. Most of the well spoken people in my classes are fairly intelligent, and the ones that don't speak up I obviously can't tell how intelligent they are. Fortunately there's a handful of people from my highschool doing law at my uni, so it wasn't too hard adjusting to the lectures/tutorials.

Stat, which is a co-requisite subject, has been pretty good too. I still really love my maths. Stat is actually a pretty intersting topic once you get your head around it... well maybe if you as obsessed about numbers as I am. I'm very happy I did the harder one... I probably would have slashed my wrists if I had to do stat170 =P Most of the people doing this subject are actuarial students, who are also fairly intelligent.

Psych, while in some aspects an interesting subject, in others a mind-numbing subject, is somewhat less fun than I thought it'd be. It's redeeming factors are the really interesting lecturers and their topics. The downsides: constant assessment, boring lecturers, organisational psychology, writing really dry essays and sometimes my fellow students.

By fellow students I mean the ones who are... not as bright as I'm used to lets say. I don't mean to be awful or anything, but six years in a highschool with the elite of the state has left me with expectations of certain levels of intelligence... it just takes getting used to when people ask... dubious questions. But I've gotten used to it, so that's ok now.

Speaking of fellow students I've met some pretty interesting people this semester.

In psych, there's Dale, who does psych/ed, Drew and Jerry who also do Law/Psych/Stat171 with me, Kami, who does Psych/ed (and used to go to another selective school), and Chrissy, who's just doing psych.

In Law, besides all the people I know from highschool, I've met Sirrah (who also went to another selective school) and Timber, law/actuarial students (crazy people @.@), and Doormat.

From Stat, there's Drew No. 2, who's friends with a lot of people from my old highschool, Bert, who hangs out with a Sirrah and Timber, Al and Dan (who is dinosaur's cousin), Di, who's also a law/actuarial (but I've never seen her in lectures... so eh).

Then from various places, Dani, who I met through Cookies, Kram, who I met through the drama club, and Candlestick, who I met through salsa, MM (a magical magician... hehe) and Tofu (<^^) who I also met through salsa.

I don't think that I'm letting go of my old friends just because I meeting a lot of new ones. 4 odd years together tends to have the effect of gluing us together somewhat. I still hang out with the Awesome Team when we organise stuff.

Anyway... that's enough for now... that was quite a long blog for me @.@

Billy? You're driving your spork into your leg.

Oh god. It's happening. Males are walking me to class again. This does not bode well. I don't like it. I want to walk alone and listen to my music, damn it. I do not want to try and make small talk with you.

27 hours until Dr. Horrible though. =]

here's the story of a girl who grew up lost and lonely

I'm somehow really glad that I made a self pact not to get into any short-term or long-term relationships this year. You might think that those two types are interchangeable, but they're not. I think most people enter relationships expecting that it will be long term, but that's not usually the case. People think you're an immoral person if you enter a relationship and both of you know if will end quite quickly.

But they're not immoral. They're realistic, and they know what they want. They know that they'll save themselves a lot of heart-ache later.

Anyway. The point is, I'm glad that I've decided not to date anyone until next year because
1) it weeds out all the ones who are only interested in sex and
2) it weeds out people who are impatient and
3) it weeds out all the people that are actually jackasses, but are really nice to you in the first few months that you know them.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this...

I have to be a little more careful about what I say in this blog...

Dr. Horrible - The Musical is on in 5 days! Unfortunately, so is my Law assignment.

Hello blog which has not seen the light of day in a while.

I find it incredibly amusing that out of my siblings, I am the only one who is not having love-problems.

Heh.

Feels good to be different for a change. It's very refreshing to not be obsessed with whoever happens to the the boy of my year.

So. Work. Onwards!

oh damn.

That green tea cake that I bought actually turned out to be green bean cake/bread. It's kind of dry, the only moist part is the sweetened green beans. Also the sugar (not sure what kind it is) is the only other part of the cake/bread that is sweet =/ Not happy =[

Anyway, went home feeling kind of special. Then I realised I still have my essay due tomorrow =[

what am i doing blogging? :O

oh my world...

we are not the only ones who have lost
we are not the only ones who have erred
yet we are blinded by our pain
which is greater than any other pain
by the virtue that we are the ones that feel it

reversion

tumultuous seas are rising once more
the waters run red with the blood of our unborn children

futile are our struggles against all that is to come

there is no god
no otherworldly being to lift us out of the mire

we can only rely on our



failing





strength

This one's for you, so cut me a break

I usually dislike AMV's but I like this one for some reason.

feels like insomnia

Korean and English by the way

I've been a little hypocritical it seems. I say that I want to be around people who have emotional depth, and who aren't always at just one level all the time. Then when I'm faced with big displays of emotional, I can't cope with it.

when all you got to keep is strong move along...

Man that guy is ugly. But this song is the song that helps me out the most when I'm feeling crap.

Um yeah.

So... apparently I'm a useless person to talk to when it concerns emotions, because as the cold hard bitch that I am, I don't feel emotions. Hence I don't understand them, and lack empathy. Which is why I'm not a doctor I suppose. And I'm on the way to hell (the path to hell is paved in gold, so I'm told).

er... 6 days to write this essay... and I'm procrastinating again... despite the fact that I'm trying to change. -_- *shakes head* I disappoint myself. *sigh*

The old me is dead and gone

Well, I'm learning to look at emotional setbacks objectively, and to see failure as feedback on how to be successful in the future. I've promised myself that I will be kinder to myself, and that I will stop wasting my time.

I know that the transition from high-school to university is difficult, and it makes you vulnerable to feeling lonely and clingy, but I can always count on my old friends being there eventually, and I can make new friends.

I used to think that being in a relationship was the ultimate goal. Since I was 10 or so, I've found someone every year to be infatuated with. Now, I know that while being in a relationship is desirable, I don't need it. It can wait.

I'm smarter, older, a little bit wiser. I'm not lazy, and I can do anything if I want to. I think I'm a slightly different person to who I was last year.

ARGH beans...

My mum brought a stack-load of snake beans home from the market this Saturday. Today I got to sort through them, then top and tail them. So many @.@

Listening to myself talk these days, I find that I sound really bitter. Now I'm not sure if I'm usually like this, of if it's just recently that I've become like this.

Cooking fail

Today, I tried to cook, and it ended in disaster. I tried a recipe for curried oats: http://teaandcookies.blogspot.com/2009/03/caramelized-onions-at-breakfast.html

Now, usually when I cook, it turns out fine. Like edible. But usually, I follow the recipe exactly, even if I don't use high quality ingredients (home brand stuff IS fine, fyi)

Not so today. Instead of using curry powder, I used curry paste, and I used milk, because usually when I make curry I use coconut milk, and we didn't have any... so I thought I'd substitute.

BAD IDEA.

The result was something with the consistency of orange, warm, viscous vomit. I would have taken a photo... but it was just... pretty gross actually.

Let's just say I'm not straying from the recipe anytime soon again =/

I just died in your arms tonight...

Hrrhhnnn... Well, on Saturday I went out again. I think I've been going out more often these hols, and I haven't actually done that much work... I've done a bit, but probably not enough.

Anyway, went out iceskating again, with Pichu, Layzorz, Xinger, aix, awesome dude, awesome dude's twin, pendragon, lief and spanker. Unfortunately Awesome dude hadn't skated in a while, so we spent most of the time helping him revise... and by that I mean we skated around him, and tried to antagonise him. heh, we're awesome friends.

Found out from Lief that Inkheart is a meh kind of movie, so I probably won't watch it. I was thinking of watching it, but it seems the be a run-of-the-mill fantasy, so maybe not. I figure since the main thing our group does these days is go out to watch movies, so I should sign up for the Cinebuzz thing soon. *nods*

After iceskating, we caught the bus to Blacktown to have lunch and play at the arcade. We met up with Layzorz, Pichu, Xinger and Lief who went there by car (Grr... I should have gotten my licence earlier T^T) at the food court, where everyone went off to buy lunch. Except for me (I brought a sandwich), and Xinger who brought... a bag of pikelets... LOLOLOLOL Very random. Seriously, the size of the servings from the Asian food place are massive. Only Layzorz and Pendragon could finish off everything.

Then off we went to the arcade. There was a crazy kid playing DDR using BOTH sides of the dance pad. That's right, all eight pads. He looked fully pro... but he probably needs to... get a life (general consensus). We spent most of the time winning tickets... Pichu turns out to be quite the little (literally xD) gambling addict. She kept throwing 20c into the machine that spews out tickets if you knock off some coins into the pit. In the end, we ended up with 291 tickets >_> I may have helped... I turn out to be quite good at the game where you shoot the teeth out of a horse's mouth. ^^"

We were going to get sticky photos, but Lief told me that the machine was broken, and only printed out 4 photos T.T We actually spent a lot of time bumming around *nods* We got a few prizes, a heart shaped stress ball, some miniature playing cards, a heart shaped slinky, a star shaped slinky, some mini erasers... novelty items that will probably never be used again... oh well =] twas fun

turns out that the 630 didn't run all the way back home so me and spanker had to catch the 611 to Barclay, then wait for the 610 to get back home. We had to wait for 40 minutes for the 610 T^T ah well, got to talk to him for a bit =]

When I got home, I came to the realization that when I'm hormonal, I jump to the randomest conclusions, and then react accordingly... which is I go completely batshit crazy. Man... sometimes I think it'd just be easier to go on the Pill and not have periods... Too much info? Yeah... probably. But yeah, it's a blog. I'll say whatever I want... and possibly regret it later... who knows?

LAN-ning

Yeah, I know lanning isn't technically a verb, but it might as well be. I went to Epping today to play Left for Dead at the Red and Blue internet cafe (next to the Gloria Jeans). It was pretty epic. Seriously, blowing the heads off of zombies is insanely fun. There's just something really awesome about hearing moaning zombies, computerised gun shots, the surprised cries of your team-mates (ahh... xerox... "uh... guys... a little help here =(" *lies squirming on the floor in pain*)

MWAHAHAHA

I think I'll learn how to play Starcraft next. Apparently, carriers are the best unit oO

After 2.5 hours of killing zombies, we went to lunch at some Asian place nearby. It was ok, serving sizes were quite good, but it was a little expensive.

Spanker had to go home for band practice, so we waited with him for a bit while he was waiting for the bus. While we were waiting, Spanker, awesome dude's twin, and morgan started beat-boxing. Yay! We probably looked like hoons.

Then we caught the train to Parra to go watch a movie. We split off into two groups, Pendragon, Awesome dude's twin, Morgan, Aix went off to watch Monsters vs Aliens, and me and awesome dude went to go watch The Boat that Rocked. Guess which movie rocked?

Lots of fun today. Although, I should probably get some work done soon =/

=D

I figure if I don't eat, I don't have to puke it back up again.

WIN

No, but seriously, since the holidays started and I've been sitting on my ass doing a lot of reading (Damn you LAW114!! *shakes fist*), I've stopped compulsively eating in general.

I'm not starving myself. Seriously, I eat when I'm hungry.

But I only feel hungry like twice a day now. Sometime around 11am, and then at about 8pm.

I think it has something to do with my blood sugar levels. While I was at uni, I had too much sugar and caffeine, and just crashed at the end of the day.

Yeah.

Easter, birthdays, debauchery.

Probably three words you don't usually see together very often.

Summary

1) Morgan's birthday last week.
2) Went out to celebrate on Saturday
3) Drank a bit
4) Spent a stack of cash
5) Danced like an idiot
6) Came home late
7) Got a txt early in the morning from Ania about how I should think about the meaning of Easter, and of God's love
8) Guilt
9) More fun at Morgan's house
10) Less guilt + tired

So Morgan decided to have his party over the Easter Break so that everyone, including Jess (a friend of hers thought this name was a good English name for her apparently), could make it. He had his party over two days and one night. We all met up at his house, then went to city together on the 619 (the most useful bus ever... for me anyway) and had a very fun bus ride. We probably freaked out everyone on the bus. Heh.

We popped into a Woolworths to get a 3 litre bottle of coke, and a few more cans of Red Bull for karaoke, because as we all know K + alcohol = hilarious fun. Then dinner at Subway/Hungry Jacks/KFC. Mmm... healthy.

Onwards! To K. Where I had fun smuggling in a 3 litre bottle of coke under my jacket. Fun times. Hedless had a backpack to hide his bottle of vodka and 12 cans of red bull. $50 an hour this time, because it was night time. Still not too bad price wise, because we split it between 10 people. K is always fun. It doesn't matter if you're sick, or if you don't know anyone, or if you're sober.

Although trying to dance silly little Korean dances in a boob tube is rather... inconvenient.

oops...

I may have destroyed half of my left eyebrow. Argh. I know you're only supposed to pluck away strays... but I may have gotten carried away. I suppose I could just draw it back on with pencil, like my mum does... but doesn't have to because she has tattooed eyebrows Oo Go mum, go. Woohoo.

So... I convinced ole padre to let me out on Saturday. Woohoo! Or not... because clubbing could be less fun than everyone makes it out to be, or possibly because there's another two parties happening at the same place at the same time... and that Barney (henceforth Barney-wannabe), will probably be there (thank you Facebook). That puts me in a somewhat awkward position.

Speaking of awkward positions...

Clubbing

Morgan's birthday party is on this Saturday. He plans for us to meet up at his house at 4.30, where we'll catch the bus to the city, and go K till 10. Then we'll go clubbing till 2am, then catch the bus to his house and sleepover. The following day will be a house party from 12 pm, dinner at Towers, then back to his house until late.

Now I want to go clubbing. Mainly because I haven't before.

Obstacles to this are my parents.

My parents arguments against:
1) It's too late at night
2) the environment/scene is bad
3) drunk people in the city at night are 'bad'
4) sleeping over at a male's house is bad
5) I might have sex with someone/do something that violates their morals, etc.

Arguments for:
1) I have money
2) + clothes
3) + transport there and back
4) the friends that I'm going with have already been introduced to parents
5) I will not drink too much (drinks are expensive >=[)
6) I will not wear provocative clothing
7) and we will be travelling in a group
8) there will be two other girls going
9) I really want to go
10) it's on saturday, and easter break, so I don't have work/study
11) I have driving lessons the next day, so I can't drink that much

My arguments against clubbing so that I won't feel bad if they vehemently say no, despite me trying to reason with them:
1) I have to spend money
2) I could be assaulted by a really slimy guy
3) I might have to look after drunk friends
4) I could wait until I'm older (when my parents are more used to me going out, and I'm not just fresh into uni)
5) I might get bored
6) heels are annoying

...

I can't win this can I.

>=(

Perfume makes me happy

And I am feeling so very distressed right now.

Dream Fighter Pv



their newest vid i think. it's very cute.

Love the world: one of their biggest hits



Secret secret: I actually learnt this dance... ^~^



And now that our internet has been upgraded I can watch as many youtube vids as I want. yay!

i wonder...

why people who take drugs will advocate drugs to non drug takers?

AND

why people in relationships advocate coupledom to singles?

because I've done both, and i don't see what's so great about either

love list

people who love me:

family (ie mum, dad, brothers, cousins, aunties, uncles etc)
friends (ie the awesome team, M)
parents of friends
baulko-ites

people who don't love me: everyone else

Sunday Stealing: Blogs

got this from http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/ yes for pirating memes. yarr


1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?
"Polyrhythm" is the name of an electropop hit by the Japanese trio "Perfume". It is the simultaneous sounding of two or more independent rhythms. So in this case it's kind of a metaphor.



2. What are your general goals for blogging?
To express myself, sometimes in ways I don't in actual life.

3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?
How often do you post (x per week)?
That I know of, two people that I know read my blog, and one that I don't know in real life. and then the anonymous people who drop by via google, thanks to my really odd blog titles. The number of blog posts per week vary. somewhere between 1-3 i guess

4. How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?
a lot. google reader tells me that it's 23 today, so maybe 20-60 a week?

5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)
I like blogs that reveal how people are feeling or thinking, then interesting topics, then funny topics.

6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, 0r do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?
I think I'll just leave them on the internet for my kids/nieces/nephews/grandkids to find someday. If the internet crashes then oh well.

7. What are the things you like best about blogging?
I can express myself in words, and I have time to think about what I'm saying. Then I get to edit that ^__^

8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?
The blogs I've written in the past. They're just pretty emo in general, and embarassing.

9. How do you handle comments?
Reply, once I come up with something to say. If not, I just leave it until I do.

10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?
Narrrgggghh

11. Any desired blog features?
Not that I can think of at the moment

12. Have you suffered blog addiction?
A what now? I think my addiction usually fall under the category of procrastination... so not exactly blog addiction... maybe.

Hey, it's ok to lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings right?

I'm not going to see 1.5 spot, because I can't be bothered. Sure I feel guilty about declining one of the parts, and sure I feel guilty that I'm not more involved in the club. That doesn't make me anymore inclined to make plans to go see it. So I'm going to lie and say that I was busy. It's not so bad, because I don't know the people in the drama club that well.

And also, one of my new psych buddies at uni is having relationship problems. It wasn't my place to ask, but I did. And there's so many problems I don't even know where to begin to help her out.

I figure she's a girl, so she'll be needed some kind of emotional reassurance. She wants someone to tell her it'll all be ok, and that it will all work out. So I did.

I lied. Most highschool relationships don't survive the transition to uni. This also includes friendships. Most long-distance relationships don't work out. Most people realise that they don't actually know their partner that well after the initial flood of hormones goes away.

Statistically, her relationship is destined to fail. I could work out the probability of it happening.

Friendships don't really last into uni either. It's either a success (π) or fail (1-π). The success rate is approximately 2/15. The Bernoulli distribution indicates that in general, there's a right skew, i.e. you lose most of your friends. I actually punched this into Excel, and that's what I got.

It's kind of sad really.

We tell each other lies everyday. It gives us hope and happiness. Without happiness we are depressed. Without either happiness nor hope, we are suicidal. Hence we tell each other lies to keep each other alive.

But hey, that's ok. Because in the long run, surviving is all that matters.

the world around me makes me feel so small

am i alone now? in the depths of night, all are asleep and i am suffocated by the silence. am i lonely? in the crowd of nameless faces, and faceless names, one melts into the other, and the others melt into one. am i alive? a drug fuelled high, a sugar solution rushing through my veins. am i dead? my limbs numb, my thoughts are slowed. do i push people away, or do they push me? i have no control, the merged faces, mean nothing to me, i mean nothing. i am nothing.

Scratch that

According to the humanist perspective (hush Cookies, I'm not trying to force anything down your throat xD), there is a hierarchy of needs which goes as follows

1) physiological, which is the need for food and water
2) safety, eg housing and money
3) love/belongingness, which is relationships with friends, family and also intimacy
4) esteem, eg respect from peers
5) self-actualisation, that is creative art, service to others, morality etc

This is known as Maslow's hierachy of needs. He states that all of the lower needs must be fulfilled in order, before you can reach the highest category. That is, you have to fulfil physiological needs first, then safety needs, and so on before reaching self-actualisation

He states that if one spends one's entire life trying to fulfil one of the lower tiers, then they will not be self-actualised, and hence will have problems. This is the basis of psychological problems according to Maslow.

Of course, there are flaws to Maslow's theory, and these have been raised by other psychologists, but he does make a point. If you're always wondering where your next meal is coming from you're not going to care if a piece of music is Baroque or Contemporary.

I think I'm stuck somewhere between 3 and 4. I find myself staying up pretty late these days, and everyone in my house goes to bed. more often than not, I'm awake into the weird hours, listening to music, doing work, or procrastinating. It's in these hours that I feel really alone.

Too soon?

I was going to post about Law and Morality (don't grumble Cookies, Jurisprudence is good for you), but I've gottten stuck at some point and can't think of anything else cohesive to put into the article. So that's been sidelined until I can think of something smart to say.

Until then I'll leave you with this joke:

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Yes. I'm an awful person. But at least I'm not a spoilt brat.

Law and Morality.

.

Wordpress sucks.

Easter, Oestre and Hōnen Matsuri

It's that time of year again.

Every shoppping centre you visit is decked out with Cadbury Bunnies and eggs.

In Christian terms, Easter. In pagan terms, Oestre. In Japanese terms Hōnen Matsuri. Yep, it's harvest time, and everything fertility or birth related time as well.

I suppose the Oestre festivals and the harvest festivals were historically first. Human kind seems to have an affinity with celebrating with rituals and large groups.

In Japan, the Hōnen Matsuri is the celebration of a bountiful harvest, prosperity and fertility. Its most famous symbol is the large wooden phallus that is paraded from shrine to shrine. While this is highly amusing to foreigners, it is a sacred event for the Japanese.

The bunny (or a hare) and the egg were originally pagan in nature. Rabbits breed very quickly, and eggs represent birth, so it makes sense that these are symbols that, to this day, represent fertility and birth. These were once offered to the goddess of fertility, who has been called a variety names, one of which has been Anglicised to Easter.

So there we have two festivals/tributes to the harvest/fertility.

Where does the Christian Easter come from? Historically, it's very vague about the actual date that Jesus was crucified and resurrected. (It's also very vague about the date that Jesus was born.) It's very convenient that many of the Christian festivals fall on or near dates of the equinoxes and solstices. As for Easter, it's VERY convenient that the death and rebirth of Jesus is represented through ancient symbols of birth an fertility. Which has been pointed out before. In fact, a lot of pagan rituals have carried over to Christianity, as it's been stated, to allow for an easier transition of religion for the pagans in the countries where Christianity originally flourished (The Roman Empire I think).

So why make the bunnies and eggs out of chocolate then? Chocolate was imported from the Americas, and was once described as one of the Devil's temptations. Hilarious that it's now a major symbol for many of the countries that celebrate Easter.

Can't really think of a conclusion, just thought I'd bring up some observations I'd found interesting. Happy Easter!

A series of increasingly uncomfortable conversations.

A topic that comes up surprisingly often these days between my parents and I, unfortunately, is sex. I think the reason this topic is coming up so often is because
1) I'm in uni with a variety of people, instead of your standard Asian nerds.
2) I can drink alcohol
3) I go out a lot more where they can't monitor my behaviour
And hence they panic and freak out.

It's extraordinarily awkward to talk about *certain* things with your parents. I'd come up with some kind of metaphor or analogy, but the truth is I cannot think of anything more awkward than that.

The hard and fast line they are trying to put across is "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE". That also includes anything beyond hugging and, the recently conceded, kissing. My dad in particular wants me to stay as pure as the driven snow until I get married, and my mum wants me to stay "innocent" and I would stay that way if I steered clear of carnal knowledge.

Why?



Well, there are a multitude of reasons I suppose.

For example, according to the major religions of the world, there are reasons for abstinence.

Christianity forbids premarital sex. Some strands of Judeo-Christian religions also frown upon affection between married couples. I haven't read enough of the bible to explain this uet, but I'm fairly certain that's the case.

In Buddhism, one of the precepts, that is the behavioural guides for righteous living, is not to indulge in physical excess. This I do know the reason for. The causes of suffering, according to Buddhism, is desire for things that are physical, or tangible. This desire ties us to the world, hence be freed of this existence, and will be reborn again into the cycle of suffering.

According to the law, sex between consenting heterosexuals over the age of 16 is legal, sex between consenting homosexuals over the age of 18 is legal, sex between a 15 year old and a 18 year old is illegal, sex between two 16 year old males is illegal and all sorts of other fun things. Law, as I've been learning in Law, is not necessarily tied to morals.

Socially, it is less acceptable for a woman to have multiple sexual partners than a man. I think this stems from this society being somewhat religious.



Biologically speaking (again), sex stimulates chemicals that screw up with rational thought processes. I like thinking. I like having control. Anything that would prevent me from thinking clearly and depriving me of what little control I have over my life's situation surely would be detrimental.

So there's a wide range of reasons for why I shouldn't have sex.



Now, as far as I've heard, sex is a pleasurable experience. Explained on a technical level it seems a little messy. Biologically it used to be necessary for this to occur in order for reproduction to occur. But with the introduction of contraception, abortion, IVF etc, this is not necessarily the case.

Humans all experience desire at some stage, unless there is something neurologically wrong with them. Now this is just in general, as the word desire encompasses many facets.



As far as I'm concerned, sex is a base kind of pleasure. It is a purely physical sensation. However, as human beings, we ARE physical beings, despite having opposable thumbs and a brain, and all the kerfuffle raised over the years how Homo Sapiens are somehow separate to animals. Hence, if we are entitled to pleasures such as reading, writing, music, art etc, we should also be entitled to the most controversial physical pleasures as well.

I don't intend on getting married. And if I do get married, it will not follow the conventions of a typical marriage according to either religious norms nor shall it follow the norms my parents propose. Hence, it will be regarded as an invalid "marriage" by both society and my parents.

From this, it follows that I will never have sexual relations with anyone.

Now this is something I intensely disagree with.

I feel as though the only thing preventing me from choosing how to live my life is fear of some sanction, whether it is from a religious, social or moral power. Hence, this unnamed power is preventing me from having some form of control over my life, and this is the collar that chafes at my neck.


The problem with my parents just telling me to not have sex is that the reasons they give for it are a little arbitary. Most of the reasons I've listed here I've had to come up with for myself.

In the end, I've decided on a set of guidelines for my own behaviour, that is not quite in accordance to the values my parents and parts of my society espouse. I just hope that there aren't too many negative consequences from that, and if there are consequences I hope I can deal with them.

YARRRRR.

It's plain to see the evil inside of me is on the rise...

Hmm... turned down a part in a play because it clashes with Animania... which I've already paid for... and even though I know Animania won't be all that awesome, I'd rather spend a day with my highschool friends than with people I barely know at uni... so sue me. Plus it clashes with M's birthday... and the director is scary... and the play is kind of cliched (but awesome) and the afterparty would have been fun too... but >_> doesn't matter la.

Hopefully I'll get into the Dr Horrible musical though. I watched that yesterday, and it is totally legen... wait for it.... dary! Legendary! Neil Patrick Harris is an amazing singer and actor. I bet he breaks hearts everytime people find out he's gay. *crosses fingers*



I haven't done anything so evil recently... but I still have foot in mouth disease -_- it's not so bad if I don't talk.... or drink... or have caffeine... stupid drugs....

Parental separation anxiety?

My dad freaks out when my brothers walk home. We live a 15 minute walk away from the school. It's ridiculous. It's not like they're going to get stabbed on the way home or something.

It's the same with uni stuff. Already, he is trying to stop me from going to stuff that, while aren't compulsory, would be social suicide if I do not attend. Like the O-Week party, or the Law Camp. And from financing myself through university (not so much uni, but my social life). He tried to hint to me that I should quit my job to concentrate on studying. Which I don't want to do. I like having money to spend. I like having control over the places I go.* I like having a place to go that isn't home or school, where I get paid to do something I enjoy.

He freaks out when I drive.**

He freaks out when I go out.

If you've heard of separation anxiety, you'll know that it's usually associated with young children and small animals. When the primary caregiver of said child/pet is absent, the child/pet will experience mild to extreme symptoms of anxiety. Parental separation anxiety is the reverse, where when the child/pet is absent, they will instead feel symptoms of anxiety.

It's quite bizarre.

I'd like to learn more about it (and how to get rid of it.)

*Speaking of going out, sometimes I go out with friends while telling my parents that I'm working, or going to uni.

**Driving is FRICKING scary. I have nightmares about it. They always involve me having to drive in an emergency, with someone dying in the end. I've had 7 hours of driving experience so far, and while dad says I can't be a perfect driver after only a few hours of driving, his comments while I'm driving are the opposite. E.g. ZOMG you're driving too close to the kerb, why can't you control the car? and/or ZOMG I can't believe you didn't slow down before that hump, are you blind? You're so careless... etc

Anyway, Uni tomorrow. First lecture, and unfortunately, I don't know anyone in my STAT171 class yet =/ Grargh.

it's so hot!!! milk was a bad choice!!!

hmm....

1) summer... brain melting heat = not fun
2) crushedbyingsoc.blogspot.com crashing = not fun
3) meeting awesome dude's (only he calls himself that hahaha) primary school friend + spud's friends = fun
4) seeing how much older the people at uni seem = daunting
5) seeing other friendship groups falling apart = scary
6) fighting (not much of a struggle yet) to keep our group together = an interesting challenge
7) learning cute little korean dances in sweltering heat = fun, but stupid

How to survive a broken heart

NB: Broken Heart is a misnomer. Hearts do not break swiftly like plates do- hearts crack like the walls in a house, inevitably breaking the house.

Step 1)
Make sure your heart is broken.

Step 2)
Abandon all hope
Hope comes from the heart. If your heart is broken, you WILL lose all hope. Let go while you're still ahead. Broken hearts do not mend. It's like a dead fish- unless it's Nemo, it won't come back to life.

Step 3)
Corner your heart
Don't let it escape. It will try to run, but since it's broken it will not get far. Avoid playing cat-mouse games. Get to the point.
Nobody wants to hear about your broken heart, so corner it and give it rules. Especially no communication with the outside world. If you let even a little bit of it escape, it will run havoc like a nearly-headless chicken in a Swarofski store.

Step 4)
Get medicated
I find antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills to level out your moods. They do not make you happy (that's what Viagra is for). They simply make things at a constant level. That means, if you're supposed to be sad, you will be sad, but without the coping mechanism of hysteria and overcompensation.

Step 5)
Self-medicate
Although somewhat of a cliche, secret self-medication allows you to express your broken heart without letting it out of it's corner (Step 3). It allows you to exhibit minimal levels of broken heart while appearing mostly sane and normal. Several options are available

• Alcohol- if you must self-medicate with alcohol, don't use beer. You are a pansy if you use beer. Beer is for social gatherings and new years eve. High concentration drinks- gin, whiskey, bourbon- are favourites of mine. Drink slowly but regularly- anybody who chugs high-line alcohol is a moron
• Drugs- only drugs which leave little to no external trace are recommended. Heroin is only useful if you always wear long-sleeves. Pot is somewhat hard to hide. Shrooms are hallucinogens, so lock yourself in your room and hide the key unless you want to come out of it tongueing your dog.
• Cutting- ever the useful tool for releasing endorphins. Only cut areas which you know you can hide- or areas which you can make up a plausible excuse for such injuries. NB- being attacked by a bear is not plausible.

Step 6)
Have an exit strategy
Move overseas and drop off the radar, start a new life if you can't handle your broken heart. Some hearts can be particularly vicious.

Step 6)
Welcome to hatred.

Not my post. But I found it bleakly funny. Points if you can figure out who.

None of us were angels...

Three subheadings today, instead of numbered, scattered points.

1. Projected self image

I found my Johari/Nohari windows again recently.

4 people think that I'm able, brave, caring, cheerful, dependable, dignified, energetic, helpful, ingenious, kind, loving, modest, powerful, reflective, sensible, trustworthy, warm and witty.

The same 4 people also think that I can be intolerant, insecure, withdrawn, hostile, unhelpful, cruel, ignorant, irrational, imperceptive, chaotic, embarrassed, loud, panicky, dispassionate, inattentive.

Most of the time, people I know are too nice to point out my negative characteristics. The only people I know that point out my negative traits are my close friends and family. And I value them for it, because they are quite aware that I'm human, and that I'm fallible.

I find it disconcerting when people idealise me or express romantic interest. Because I know that they're overlooking the negative traits that I have that I know would definitely make them run 100 kilometres in the other direction if they actually figured out that I can be quite... well not as perfect as they thought.

That's why I run 100 kilometres in the opposite direction when people view me in such a distorted light. Because they're so very, very incorrect in their perceptions of who I am, and I usually I don't want to prove them wrong. For a while now, I've been humouring people who are like that. Which is wrong, because I hate lying to them and pretending to be something I'm not.

2. Yes Man

I watched Jim Carrey's newest on Thursday with a bunch of friends who weren't a) overseas, b) at the beach, c) on bible camp. It was funny in a slapstick way I think... Carrey's humour has become less... sharp (?) over the years... some moments in the film that were supposed to be funny fell flat... some bits were kind of disturbing... but overall it was quite entertaining.

The message I got out of this film was that you shouldn't be afraid to grab life by the wrists and run. That letting yourself do the things you want to do is as straightforward as just saying yes.

I wish I could live that kind of life... but if I did that at this current moment it would hurt my parents. Because they wouldn't understand, and they'll think I'm frivolously wasting my life.

3. Nana

I started reading the manga, and I've watched the live-action film (courtesy of Youtube ^^). It's a shoujo manga, so it pretty much falls under all the conventions of the genre (ext 1 english... yay... how i love thee), so don't look for anything new. I haven't watched much of the anime yet.



The music from the live-action is what drew me into the series. The songs from both Nana (feat. Mika Nakashima) and Reira (feat. Yuna Ito) released accompanying the film are quite good. The only one I don't really like is "My medicine" by Nana, because it just sounds weird after the verses. Other than Glamourous Sky, Isolation is a pretty good song, which is surpising that 3/4 of the tracks are fairly strong.

hmm... it's late... bed time...